Page 17 of Losing The Vampire King

I smile. “OK. Thank you.”

He nods appreciatively, then a few moments later, all four of them disappear in the woods, leaving me alone. A cold breeze tries to move me, but I stay put, wrapping my arms around myself, like an invisible hug.

“Just a little longer,” I tell myself aloud, staring at the lake.

Memories flood me. Painful, sweet memories of the times when we were the happiest. I can see Eddie here, with the eye of my mind, with Orien as a baby in his arms, walking into the lake, both of them shivering with cold, although it was a hot August day. Then, I remember our skinny dipping for the first time, how he held me in his arms, how his lips kissed mine, trembling. I melted in his arms, wanting to remain like that forever, despite the cold.

A million memories keep playing inside my mind, one happier than the other. I know I can’t leave this place. Not yet. Not until I’ve played them all out, until I’ve seen them all, until I’ve had my fill of them. I hear Eddie’s laughter. I see the warmth of his smile. I can drown in the heat of his eyes. I can drink in the smell of his skin. I can do all of that here and nowhere else. That is why I can’t leave yet.

I close my eyes, allowing the memories to flood me completely. My heart is full of hope. I can see–

Suddenly, a branch snaps somewhere behind me. I turn around, thinking Kano must have forgotten to ask me something. But to my shock, I realize it’s not Kano. My entire body starts to tremble. Flashes of hot and cold start to substitute and I can barely think. My mind becomes a haze. My eyes can’t get accustomed to the darkness any longer, to the sight in front of me that they need to behold.

I want to extend my hands and touch him, bring him close to me, pull him into an embrace, but I can’t do any of those things. I am paralyzed. All I can do is look at him, as if this might be the last time we ever see each other.

“Eddie?” I finally manage to muster, as he slowly starts to approach me.

Chapter Ten

Edmund

“Eddie?” she calls out to me again.

I can hear the desperation in her voice. There is fear as well, and so many other things which I can’t quite make out. But something is telling me that she should remain where she is, and not get close to me.

“Eddie, do you recognize me?” she asks me, taking a step closer to me, but as she does that, I take a step back. Her voice is tense, hopeful.

I don’t trust myself. I feel my jaw tightening. I don’t want to growl. I don’t want to make a sound, but my body seems to want to do it on its own. My breathing is intensifying. My field of vision is becoming foggy, focused solely on the prey in front of me. I don’t want to see her as prey, but I can’t help it.

“Stay back.”

This is the only thing I manage to muster, through a cloudy haze that is threatening to take over my mind. Something inside of me is urging me to attack. Something inside of me has targeted her as the enemy, but so far, I’m managing to keep myself under control. I know what will happen if I attack. I dare not even think about it.

“Just listen to my voice and try to remember,” she keeps talking.

The more I listen to her, the more familiar her voice sounds, but I can’t recognize her. I feel like there is a wall around, preventing me from seeing anything beyond it. I can’t find what I’m looking for, because there is something inside of me trying to regain control of what I do and think, almost as if my own thoughts aren’t my own any longer.

“You have to come back with me,” she continues.

This time, she manages to approach me so closely that she grabs me by the elbow. The action startles me, and without even thinking, I yank my arm away from her, pushing her unintentionally. This is when she realizes that I might not be who she thinks I am. I can see that disappointment in her eyes, the very moment when her dreams were almost destroyed.

However, she keeps going. She doesn’t give up. She keeps talking to me, calling my name, but keeping her distance.

The sound of her voice awakens different emotions inside of me. Almost as if there is something that needs to be dragged out from the deepest recesses of my heart, out into the open, but another part of me won’t let this happen. I see her as both an enemy and a friend, as both a devil and an angel, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t make up my mind on either one of those two.

“Can’t you see, Eddie?” Despite everything, her determination shines through. I have to admire that. I keep listening to her, her voice beckoning me, but I feel like there are shackles around my hands and feet, keeping me in place. If I get closer to her, I fear I might hurt her, and I don’t want that.

I take another step back. She sounds too tantalizing. Her voice is too soft. Her words are too alluring. I have to leave before I am so close to her that I can touch her. Because if I touch her, I fear the animal inside me might take control of my actions and I won’t be able to protect this woman from it.

“You came here because you were looking for me, just like I was looking for you,” she explains, although nothing she says makes much sense.

Her words try to pierce through the wall around my mind and they almost manage to do it. But a tangle of thorns immediately sprouts up and her words are lost, dissolved in the darkness, which is leaving only anger and poison in its place.

That same pain erupts at the back of my head, making it impossible to think. A million little stars explode in front of my eyes, blinding me to the point of darkness. I press my hands to my temples again, in an effort to soothe the pain, but it’s impossible. The pain is coming from deep inside, where her words can’t reach.

I drop down to my knees, overcome by the pain.

“Eddie?” Her words are laden with love, with concern, with profound tenderness. I want them to be for me. I want to reciprocate them, but instead of returning the same tenderness, I push her away when she places her hands on my shoulders. She falls down to the ground next to me.

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