Page 37 of F*ck Steal Kill

It wasn’t the first time a girl had wanted Quentin over me, but it was the first time I cared. At least when we’d all been together, I got to have a part of her. But now that was gone, and I had to set my obsession aside.

“You’re wrong,” Quentin said, his voice soft and closer than I remembered. His rough palm grabbed my chin, tilting it up to meet his eyes. They were soft, swirling with understanding, and something I couldn’t place.

“No, I’m not,” I barked, angry I cared this much. Holland wasn’t a girl he would just fuck. She was different. I’d lost my best friend and the girl. Fuck. Using my anger, I spat out the words. “It’s written all over your face, Q. Don’t try to deny it. You practically orgasmed standing there when you smelled her. You got her, and now that’s that.”

Quentin sighed like I was frustrating him with my denseness. Welcome to the club, buddy.

“No. You’re wrong in thinking it means she chose me.”

“But you just said...” I waved my hands between us, not wanting to repeat the words. They hurt too much to say out loud again. His grip tightened on my chin, and instead of being pissed, it did the opposite, calming me as the pain stabilized the panic and fury within.

“I’ve claimed her, yes, but she told me she wouldn’t commit to one person. She likes you, Max. And though neither will admit it, she and Grady have a connection, too. She was the girl from the first day, the one he eye-fucked like she was the cure he needed to survive.” Quentin sighed deeply, his hold loosening as his thumb brushed across my chin in a caring gesture, soothing me better than my favorite jeans.

That… felt nice.

“She’s coming to talk with us before her shift in the morning. I can’t let her go. She’s mine… But she’s also yours. And Grady’s if he removes his head from his ass.”

I blinked, unsure if I’d heard him correctly. She’d wanted me too? And he was willing to share?

“How will that work?” I asked, my mind racing with the need to solve this puzzle. I didn’t want to lose her.

“That’s what we’ll talk about in the morning. She had to go do something with her roommates.”

The question I couldn’t ignore slipped through before I could stop it. “Why did you agree to share?” I whispered. It was so out of character for him; I needed to know his reasoning.

Quentin’s dark eyes blazed into mine, his jaw ticking as he fought himself.

“Because I know how much you like her, and I can understand how she might help three broken men. Or even that she wouldn’t be happy with just me. She’s a force that can’t be contained, and I’d only destroy her if I tried.” His hold on me loosened more, a physical sign of withdrawal. No. I didn’t want that.

Leaning forward, I gripped his thighs with my hands, squeezing them hard so my nails dug into him.

“Don’t run from me, Q. Not on this,” I demanded, pushing further into his space so he couldn’t retreat. Our noses touched, hot breath fanning over each other as we stared, the tension that was always there sizzling to life.

Quentin might’ve rescued me from the bullies when we were younger, being my fists when I couldn’t protect myself, but I’d saved him from his own emotional turmoil, showing him how to let go and be vulnerable.

We were two sides of one coin, pushing and pulling the other through the murkiness of life. We worked better together, closing the gaps in one another’s weaknesses. And right now, Q needed me to show him it was okay to feel new things, even if they were scary.

Quentin licked his lips, his eyes dropping to my mouth before meeting my eyes again, and some of the turmoil lessened. The muscles in his face relaxed, his body sagging under the pressure my touch provided, reminding him I was there.

His hands slid to grasp my hair, bringing our foreheads together. Quentin squeezed his eyes closed, tugging at the strands of my hair as he fought himself. I increased the pressure on his thighs, my fingers wrapping around his thick muscles. I took in a deep breath, waiting for him to follow.

In and out, we breathed together, the action so natural it didn’t take long for his heart to slow. Q leaned back an inch, spearing me in the eyes with his truth.

“You always know when I’m about to spiral and how to bring me back. I don’t like to admit it, but I need you, Max. Probably more than you need me nowadays.”

He sucked in another shuddering breath, letting it out slowly. I didn’t respond, knowing he wasn’t finished and needed to get this out. It had gone on too long as it was.

“I know I treat you like you’re incapable of keeping yourself safe, and I’m sorry for that. It’s easier for me to accept your help when I feel it’s equal. Plus, the fear of something happening to you is overwhelming at times. Max, you’re my family. You’re all I have left. You and Grady, but especially you. Do you understand?”

I nodded, releasing some of the pressure on his thighs. His body shuddered again, his eyes closing before he took a deep breath. A thrill raced up my spine, liking that I’d affected him the same way Holland had.

I stayed quiet, hoping to give him the space to say what he felt, knowing he couldn’t move forward until he’d overcome this. We stared at one another for a long time as emotions swirled in his eyes. So many beautiful emotions.

“What I’m failing to say is… I love you, Max. I don’t know what that means or how that affects us, but I do. And I think having Holland between us made it easier for me to accept what has grown between us with a safe way to explore it. Because I need you both, and that scares the shit out of me, but I do. I need her to challenge me and push my buttons, and I need you to remind me it’s okay to feel things. That being safe doesn’t mean going through life like a zombie.”

I swallowed, his words more poignant and powerful than I could’ve anticipated.

“Say something,” he begged, his grip tightening in my hair.

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