Page 185 of The Head Game

Nico’s voice cracked at the end. “I thought this meant something to you too,” he whispered.

August looked at him with pain-filled eyes. “It does. Of course it does. But I can’t do this again.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not enough for you,” August whispered roughly. “You’re going to leave me when you get bored with me.”

And Nico felt a sad little flutter in his chest because it all made sense now. That stupid asshole had hurt August and now August thought Nico would do the same.

August was trying to protect himself.

“Auggie …” Nico said tenderly. “No, you have it all wrong.”

“No, you don’t get it, Nico. You don’t know what it’s like to have someone you love tell you you’re boring. That you’re rigid and uptight and they need more.”

“No, I don’t,” Nico said flatly. “But I know what it’s like to be told I’m not serious enough. I’m never going to amount to anything because I’m a screwup who doesn’t know what hard work is like. I’m never going to stick with anything or anyone because I’m a stupid kid who doesn’t know how lucky he has it. But we don’t have to be what people tell us we are. We can be whoever we want.”

August just looked at him.

“And fuck Daniel anyway. You’re too good for him. You deserve better. Like me.”

August laughed brokenly.

“I want you, Nico, I do, but I’m scared once your life returns to normal, you’ll stop needing me.”

“I don’t need you now.”

August flinched and Nico realized that came out all wrong. “No, Auggie, listen. I don’t need you. You’ve been amazing during my recovery but I have my parents, I have friends, I could have paid people. But I want you. I’m choosing you. Not because of my head or the league or anything else. But because I love you.”

Nico’s heart soared because he did. He loved August so much. More than he’d ever imagined he could love someone.

August froze. “But what if you change your mind?” he whispered.

“What if you do?” Nico challenged. “What if you regret that I fucked up your whole future?”

August shook his head. “I could never regret you.”

“Then how could you think I’d regret you?” Nico asked, eyes burning. “How could you ever think that?”

“It’s different. You … You’re Nico Arents.”

Nico closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before he looked at August again. “What if I don’t want to be that guy anymore?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Stop telling me what to do, August,” Nico said. “I know how I feel. And I’m not that guy anymore.”

“But you could be that guy, you will be again. Once you’re feeling one hundred percent …”

“I don’t want to be him,” Nico said flatly. “I’m not him anymore. Something changed for me. I changed. Maybe it was the brush with death or maybe that was the part of my brain that got scooped out but I’m different. I want to be different. I want to just be Nico. Your Nico.”

“You’re going to give up the high-rise condo and jetting off to Europe?” August asked incredulously.

Oh, Nico wanted to strangle him. Why was he being so difficult about this?

“Well, I was kind of hoping you’d move into the condo permanently and you’d be up for trips to Europe with me,” Nico explained. “I’d still like to visit my family there sometimes.”

“But … Marty. And Miss Muffins … And what about the sex dungeons?”

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