Page 184 of The Head Game

Nico kicked off his shoes and walked toward him.

August didn’t lift his head and Nico took a moment to study him. It was only then that he caught sight of the suitcase and his steps faltered.

Oh you idiot, Nico thought, affection and annoyance mingling.

August thought he was going to leave now when he needed to be here with Nico more than ever?

Nico shook his head. Nice try, August. But it’s not happening.

He did smile at the sight of Miss Muffins curled up on the suitcase, fast asleep.

“Good girl,” he whispered. She was making sure August couldn’t leave.

Nico was going to buy her the prettiest, sparkliest collar and fluffiest, softest cat bed ever in thanks.

Nico rubbed an affectionate hand over her and she made a sleepy chirp.

August didn’t move. Didn’t lift his head. Just kept staring down at his clenched fist.

It wasn’t until Nico dropped to his knees in front of him that he looked up.

The pain in his eyes made Nico gasp and he wrapped his arms around him. “Oh no. How bad was it?”

“Two-year ban,” August said bleakly. He didn’t push Nico away but he didn’t reach for him either.

“That’s … that’s good, right? Better than we’d hoped.”

“It’s over.” August let out a heavy sigh. “I … it’s over. I’m done.”

Heart beating a little too fast, Nico studied August’s face. He’d been crying earlier.

Oh, that hurt more than anything else, thinking about August here alone, crying over what he’d lost.

“Baby, no,” Nico said, wiping at August’s face. “Give everything some time to cool down and once they see we’re still together and that it wasn’t some … casual thing, I’m sure they’ll let you come back.”

“Two years? We’re going to keep pretending to be engaged for two years?” August laughed, but it sounded so bitter Nico’s heart clenched.

“Not pretending,” Nico insisted. “Together for real.”

“Don’t—don’t say stuff like that,” August said roughly. “Don’t say it when you don’t mean it.”

“August,” Nico said slowly. “I do mean it. I … of course I mean it. You’ve been everything to me since my surgery.”

“Yeah,” August said roughly. “I get that. And I’m glad I could be that for you but I can’t keep going on like this. It hurts too much.”

“You’re not making any sense,” Nico said. “What are you saying?”

“I was everything while you needed me.” August rubbed at his eyes. “But you’re getting better, Nico. You’re not going to need me for much longer and I can’t sit here and let my heart get broken when you walk away.”

“You think I want to walk away? Are you crazy? I want this. I want you, August. Don’t you understand?”

August let out a rough noise and rose to his feet. Something tumbled from his hand and Nico stared at the ring, watching it spin and spin on the rug until it settled into stillness.

Nico picked it up, heart aching. “August, what does this mean?”

“It means we’re done, Nico. We’re done. This engagement was … stupid and pointless and it was never real.”

“And what if I want it to be real?” Nico said, scrambling to his feet, annoyed now. “What if I want to be with you? Not because Kate says we should pretend or because the world thinks we already are, but because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Auggie.”

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