Page 137 of The Head Game

Nico swallowed, his amusement fading as the words hit close to home.

“But the truth is, you’re never going to get back to the life you had before. There’s no cheat code. You’re not going to be able to power through this. You’re not going to be able to do anything but live in it.”

“I hate that,” Nico admitted.

“I know.” Charlie shot him a sympathetic look over his shoulder. “Believe me. But I think you and I are more alike than anyone would think.”

“Well, there’s our stunning good looks and magnetic personalities,” Nico said with a wink.

Charlie grinned. “True.”

“But that’s not what you meant, is it?”

“No. You can’t will your body to be healthy.”

Nico swallowed past the lump in his throat, thinking about the other night when August had been so kind about whatever the fuck Nico’s dick was doing right now.

“I’ve noticed.”

“Yeah, you’ve been frustrated by it too, I bet,” Charlie said, turning to face him. “But have you accepted it?”

That lump thickened and Nico shook his head.

“Well, you need to.” Charlie crossed his arms, one hip cocked, his head tilted like he was defying Nico to tell him no. “Because you won’t get through this unless you do.”

“Ugh.” Nico slumped against the counter. “Whyyy?”

He was whining and he knew it but damn it, this was the kind of shit he hated.

This … having to look too closely at things.

Life was so much easier when he could focus on the fun stuff and not dig too deep into anything.

Charlie shrugged. “Life’s a bitch, I guess.”

Nico let out a surprised laugh. “There’s that.”

Though until now, his life had been pretty damn good. Pretty damn easy too. He wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

“I remember how weak I was after I was hospitalized for my eating disorder. How tired I was through the whole recovery. It was like all of my energy was going into existing.”

“I’m not used to that.”

“Neither was I. I was used to pushing and pushing but this was my body’s sign I needed to listen to it. I needed to accept it as it was. We’re not wired to do that as competitive athletes. We skate on sprains and in pain and we push through, but sometimes our bodies cannot be pushed any further. And they won’t heal until we learn to listen to them.”

“I feel like I do nothing but sleep,” Nico admitted.

“So sleep,” Charlie said simply. “Give your body rest and hydration and nourishment and let it do its job. Your job right now is to let your body do what it does best. It’s designed to heal. It knows what to do if you let it.”

“But it’s hard,” Nico said with a frustrated sigh.

Charlie nodded. “Oh I know. I hated every second of it until I learned to accept it. But take it from someone who’s been there. The longer you fight off acceptance, the longer it’ll take you to get back to where you want to be.”

Nico scowled. “I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to. And no one else will be as blunt with you, but I will. You’re going to have to dig deep and find a part of yourself you never knew existed. That maybe didn’t exist until now. And it’s going to suck.” Charlie paused. “Dustin got where he is through hard work. Day in, day out hard work, right?”

Nico nodded, though he wondered where Charlie was going with this. “August is like that too. And God, Matty. He’s been a grinder his whole career.”

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