Page 138 of The Head Game

“Exactly. But I think you and I are different. I’m not saying we haven’t worked hard. We didn’t end up elite-level athletes without hard work. But I think we got lucky enough to have something rarer. Natural born talent is different from acquired skill. And I’d apologize for being so egotistical but I think we both know I’d be lying.”

Nico laughed.

He did appreciate Charlie not trying to be falsely modest.

After Dustin and Charlie’s whirlwind marriage in Vegas, Nico had watched some of Charlie’s Olympic figure skating performances.

He was extraordinary.

The technical skill of his performances was there of course, but it was more than that.

Charlie was electric. In the simplest of costumes he dazzled. He lit up a ten-thousand-seat stadium with the force of his personality. It absolutely was more than finely honed skill; it was the charisma Charlie had on and off ice.

Nico had that too.

And maybe it was egotistical of him to recognize that about himself, but what was the point in pretending it didn’t exist?

It was why Nico was featured in social media content and highlight reels.

Nico wasn’t big and mean like Matty but he had his own distinctive skating style. He was fast and fluid and easy to pick out on the ice. He could get a shot off from the point or the blue line and yeah, he’d practiced a lot.

But he knew on a good night he lit up the ice in a way Matty never would. Nico loved Matty, and so did the rest of the team.

But Nico was the defenseman analysts talked about. The one fans followed. While Nico was lighting it up with the Black Bears, there were guys on his team who’d trained twice as hard and had never once gotten the call up.

And how was Nico supposed to be okay with not having that anymore?

“Nico?” Charlie prompted, and he realized he’d been lost in thought.

“Sorry. Just thinking about what you said. And yeah, you’re right. I just don’t know how to be patient when I don’t feel like myself right now.”

Charlie hummed like he was considering Nico’s words. “I get that. I felt that way too for a long while. But I found a new version of myself. Just remember, I’m not my skating, Nico, and neither are you.”

“No, I’m an international model and DJ as well,” he joked.

“Sure, but look deeper,” Charlie urged. “If you lost those too, who are you?”

But Nico had lost them. He might get them back someday, the same way he’d hopefully get his skating back.

But he couldn’t model with this scar and he couldn’t imagine being in a club with the music thumping in the background.

It made his head ache to think about.

Charlie was right. His life was never going to be the same.

“I don’t know who I am.” Nico whispered. He’d gone through his life without really thinking about it at all.

“You don’t know what the team was like when you went down on the ice,” Charlie said gravely. “You didn’t see what it did to Dustin and Matty and Dom and all of them. But I saw it. And it left scars on them. Certainly not the same ones you have from the experience, but scars, nonetheless.

“So if they get overprotective of you, that’s why. Put yourself in their shoes and remember for a while they thought they might have lost you for good. We might have lost you for good. Your recovery will be hard. It’ll be slow and frustrating. But it’s better than not being alive. And staying alive is all any of us want from you.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Nico had been oddly quiet since they spent the evening with his team. He didn’t seem upset or in pain, just thoughtful, so August left him to it.

Nico had been poking at August to talk about how he felt about his own suspension. But what could August say?

It felt as terrible as he’d expected but August had known it was coming. On some level, he’d probably known it since he saw the first JockGossip article about his alleyway kiss with Nico.

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