Page 177 of The Head Game

Now, he paused at the top of the stairs, watching Nico.

August wanted the man who was dancing to Christmas music, holding the stray cat he’d named Miss Muffins, crooning to her like she was a baby while she lay placidly in his arms like she too was in love with him already.

August wanted Nico’s ridiculous unicorn poop bath bombs. His incessant selfies. His over-dramatic everything.

He wanted his painted toenails and his bright smile.

August wanted the too-sparkly ring on his finger to mean more than a sham engagement.

He wanted it so bad he felt like his chest was squeezed tight with need but none of this was his to keep. Nico wasn’t his to keep.

Nico was too much. Too bright, too sparkling, too vibrant to be his.

August knew who he was.

He was rigid and inflexible, just like Daniel had said.

August wished he understood how it had happened.

How had he fallen so hard for Nico in so short a time?

It had never hit him so swiftly before.

Dating Daniel had been pleasant. They’d enjoyed their time together but it had never felt like it did with Nico.

Spending time with Nico felt seamless and August wondered if it was simply them or a product of the situation they were in.

On some levels, August felt a deeper connection to Nico than he had to Daniel.

Of course, they had skipped past the early awkward getting-to-know-you phase and gone straight into acting like a couple.

A medical crisis and essentially moving in together and spending nearly 24/7 in close proximity for weeks had added intensity to it. August had seen Nico at his rawest and most vulnerable.

But August also remembered a list he’d seen years ago of the most stressful life events a couple could potentially deal with. It occurred to him now that he and Nico were dealing with at least four of the top ten.

Nico’s brain tumor. Stress about Nico returning to his playing career. August’s suspension. Worry about August’s future employment and finances.

The list hadn’t mentioned being in a fake, publicly visible relationship and navigating living with not two, but four parents, but that certainly had added to it as well.

It was a pressure cooker of a situation which had forced them toward emotional intimacy long before they would have otherwise.

But what did that mean when this was all over?

August and Nico hadn’t discussed when or how this fake engagement would end.

It would probably depend on what the career consequences for both of them were, but when it was all over and they had no reason to be together anymore, what would happen?

Nico cared about him; he’d made that clear. But it was also clear Nico would bounce back. He was healing well, growing stronger with every day.

It would take months for him to regain all of the function he’d lost and even more time to make it back on the ice, but at some point, Nico wouldn’t need anyone around to keep an eye on him.

His headaches were lessening, he hadn’t had a dizzy spell in a while, and his memory—except around that fateful game in Buffalo—had completely returned. Eventually, the doctor would clear him to live alone.

His hair would grow in and cover the scar almost completely, he’d taper off the meds and his dick would return to full functionality.

He could go back to his fabulous life of playing hockey, DJing, and partying.

And where would August be?

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