Page 35 of What Comes After

Ineededmore time with him.

Humor hadn’t exactly been my forte, but telling myself that felt like one big joke.

Because I didn’t just want or need more time with Theo before he left. I never wanted him to go at all.

Obviously, I’d never tell him that.

As his best friend, it was my job to support and encourage him, and I think I’d done an okay job of that.

I talked extensively with him about his plans, the movie, and what I planned to do when it came out in theaters.

My financial situation wouldn’t matter at that point. Whatever it took, I was going to see that movie. Repeatedly.

As I watched him look at me from a few feet away, I couldn’t bring myself to go to him. Somewhere, deep in the darkest recesses of my mind, I’d convinced myself that if I never said goodbye to him, Theo wouldn’t leave.

With the way he was looking at me, it was evident Theo knew exactly what was going through my mind.

“You have to come over here and say goodbye to me, Devyn,” he said, his voice a deep rasp.

After pressing my lips together and rapidly blinking my eyes, I replied quietly, “I don’t think I can.”

Something softened in his features, a sympathetic look washing over his face. Understanding he was going to have to be the one to do this, Theo walked in my direction. I stared at him for a long time when he was just inches away from me, until I finally threw my arms over his shoulders and held on like my life depended on it.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” I croaked.

I hadn’t wanted to cry, but it was useless to try to stop myself.

“Why do you think I’ve been begging you to come with me?” Theo returned, his arms holding me tighter than they ever had before. His body felt so hard and strong against mine, and I wished it was powerful enough to take away the pain I felt in my heart.

“I know, but I can’t just pack up and move across the country,” I told him. “L.A. is not my scene. I love it here in Iris. I’ve always loved Iris. And as much as I’ll miss you, I’m never leaving this place.”

Theo had gone to extraordinary lengths to try to convince me to join him on this adventure, but I couldn’t.

Not only did I have the reasons I’d just given him, but I wholeheartedly believed that Theo needed to do this on his own. This was his dream, and I wanted him to live it. I’d miss him. God, I’d miss him. But it wasn’t my journey to take.

If I was lucky, maybe he’d make his way back to me one day.

“I think I’m going to come back after this film,” he said.

My body tensed, and I jerked my head back, so I could look at him. “What?”

He smiled and explained, “When you wouldn’t accept my invitation to join me, I started doing a lot of thinking. And I’m pretty sure I can make it happen. I’ll come back to Iris when I’m not filming. This can be my permanent residence, and I’ll only fly out when I’ve got work obligations.”

I reached my hand up to the side of his face and cupped his cheek. It wasn’t something I’d ever done before, but this moment was too huge not to give myself the chance to do some of the things I’d wanted to do with him.

Stroking my thumb along the skin on his cheek, I asked, “Have you ever seen yourself act?”

“What? What are you talking about?” he questioned me.

My eyes searching his face, I smiled at him. “You’re an incredible actor, Theo. Once this film comes out, probably even before, you’re going to have so many movies lined up, you won’t know what to do with yourself.”

He tipped his head to one side and eyed me curiously. “Don’t you want me to come back? Won’t you miss me?”

I moved my hand from the side of his face and slid it around the back of his neck. After squeezing him there, I answered, “You know I want you to come back. And I just said how much I’m going to miss you. But I have to be realistic about this, too.”

“I’m being serious,” he insisted.

“I understand your intentions, Theo, and I wholeheartedly believe you’re being honest about your desire to come back and live this life where you fly back and forth all the time. But this is your career; it’s important, and I know how good you are. You’re going to be busy, and I can’t wait to see all that you accomplish. In the same breath, I won’t give myself false hope. I’ll treasure every visit you make. You know that. But I won’t get my hopes up for a return to the life we’ve had for so many years.”

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