Page 115 of Haze

“So, you could quit?” Gears are turning. I could get him out of the direct paths of my life.

It wouldn’t be too hard for me to convince Cade to sponsor the visa. He can put him on the security team and out of my hair if I play my cards right.

No! my wolf objects. She stops all trains of thought about how to get Finn out of our way. We’re keeping him. We need him.

I draw a deep breath, trying hard to put her back in the little box I’ve always kept her in. She doesn’t want to go. I don’t want to argue with her. The more I think about Finn not being around, the larger the heated lump low in my abdomen grows. If I had to guess, it’s her lighting a bonfire inside me to send smoke signals for help.

“You and your wolf struggle this much all the time?” Finn changes the subject. He sets my plate on the table. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“No, normally the coward hides herself away, and I can live a normal life.” All the bitterness and resentment for my wolf comes out in sharp words and a huff of disapproval.

I follow him, a little too obediently, to the bathroom.

Finn turns to look at me, brows furrowed before full-on scolding, “Are you talking about your wolf like that?”

He’s genuinely upset by my words? I shrug, walking toward him and my bathroom. “You saw her earlier.”

“I saw her,” he confirms, following me. “She’s beautiful and strong despite how much you’ve been through. You were the epitome of beauty and grace.” Finn spews praise for me and the coward like it’s so easy to see.

I lay out the reality of my life for him. “If it were up to her, we would have left Thalia outside alone. I can’t be Alpha Female and not be strong in front of them.”

“I don’t want this for you.” Finn keeps stepping in my way as I try to go from the bathroom to the walk-in closet.

“Finn.” I motion to the dance we’re doing. “Stop.”

“Why won’t you let me help you?” Finn finally steps aside to let me pass. “Your wolf attacked me. She’s turning feral. I sent Revecca to you because she could fix it. Don’t let your wolf pay the price for your stubbornness. Let me help you.”

I shake my head. “You can’t be with me every hour of every day, Finn. It’s easier if I do this alone.”

He’s right. I know he’s right. But it’ll hurt so much more. Dinah and Ansel live with feral wolves. I can do it. I can learn.

“Easier for who?” Finn objects.

From where he leans against the doorframe, Finn watches me strip. His tongue darts out from between his lip before he steels himself.

Why does he have to be so tempting?

“Probably everyone. It’s not like there’s statistical data I can point to.” I snort and finish my thought. I push him away harder. If you can’t ask them to go away, insult them until they leave. “Not that you’d even listen if I showed it to you.”

He laughs with me. “Has anyone else ever gotten you as well as I have?”

No. But that’s not the point, asshole.

“What is it with you and wanting to talk about my exes?” I pipe back, glaring at him until he lets me walk past him again toward the shower.

“Well, I’d like to know if I’m talking to other people who have seen you naked,” he answers as I open the shower door.

I motion my hand up and down my body with an eye roll. “We’re wolves. Everyone’s seen me naked. It’s why I decorated the canvas.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he growls.

I’ve pushed a button. Excellent.

“So sensitive,” I chide, trying to de-escalate him, kinda. I need him angry but not enraged, “Let me put it this way, I’m not a virgin, and mostly, I don’t fuck wolves. I lived with my two brothers, so I have had great encouragement to explore my sexuality. I’ve done it predominantly with humans and within the lifestyle.”

The growl continues even after I close the door.

“You’re slut-shaming me, Griffin?” I snap at him. I let the water soak my hair and run down my body while watching him through the glass as it steams up. “How many bitches in the Irish countryside have moaned your name? Or are you a pig and they’ve never come?”

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