Page 114 of Haze

My wolf huffs but doesn’t leave. She’s more present than the warm fire I’ve felt the last couple of days.

“What are you thinking?” Finn prompts.

I shrug in answer. Moving to sit up, I look over to the fireplace, where there are two plates with what looks like quick hash from Deacon. It’s potato-y cheesy goodness. Sniffing the air, I confirm my suspicion. Yum.

Finn moves faster than I can. Out of bed, he picks up our plates before I can wander to the bathroom. Upon my return, he’s finishing praying over his meal. He’s sitting on the couch with the coffee table pulled forward to set his plate on.

“Thank you.” I shouldn’t, but the push from my wolf is strong, and I sit down next to him, curling up and pulling the plate to my lap.

“You’re welcome,” he answers me. After a few bites, he breaks the silence. “Your wolf is stunning. How did I get so lucky to have such a perfect mate?”

“Mmm. See, that’s the funny bit. I’ve fooled you into thinking I’m perfect. You’ll see soon enough.” I don’t mean to be hostile, but the coffee he promised did not magically appear in a cup in front of me on the table, and as a result, there will be no filter.

Finn laughs. “Damn, you also shift into a troll?”

“I never said I wasn’t pretty,” I snap. Rude.

From the corner of my eye, I can see Finn stifling any further laughter. How can he be so annoyingly fitting in my life?

He’s ours. We love him, and we fit. My wolf swoons for him.

I don’t argue with her. There’s a delicate balance between embracing her like Revecca suggested and derailing my life for her whims.

“Why has it been this way for you? Why hasn’t Cade or Deacon been there for you?”

Despite not even being in the realm of what we were talking about, Finn’s questions make sense.

Why wouldn’t he want to know why I’ve been masquerading as an Alpha Female? It was only a matter of time before he wanted to talk about this.

“It’s not that easy to explain. Cade’s worked fucking hard to make sure we’ve always had a roof over our heads and that even if we were cut off from the fund, we’d be okay. And I couldn’t exactly ask him to give up his life for me.” I turn to silence and eat, with the hope that the answer is enough for him.

“Deacon?” Finn probes further.

He eats faster than I do and has set his plate back down on the table. It allows him to turn and face me to scrutinize me as I answer.

I shake my head. It’s obvious, should be obvious, to anyone who spends more than five minutes with Deacon. “He can hardly take care of himself, let alone me. He was named my guardian because, legally, I had to have one. But I’ve always been the one to care for him.”

“I’m sorry.” Finn’s eyebrows are knit close together, and his smile turns down.

“Why?” I ask, scooping another bit of potato and cheese goodness with my fork. “It’s not like you could have done anything about it.”

“I could have found you sooner.” Finn’s answer is somber, like he holds real remorse for this. “I know you’ve put together that I’ve spent a lot of time stateside.”

He’s not wrong. No one drives that well in Minneapolis and Saint Paul without getting to know the driving culture and that the ‘rules of the road’ aren’t exactly rules, more like who can be the most friendly.

Nodding, I don’t verbally respond, but Finn takes the cue.

“With Robert in power, it was easy for us to work here. No one questioned wolves of various accents working underground in secret dealings. All this time, we’ve been in such a large set of cities but sometimes only minutes to a few hours apart,” Finn growls.

My wolf flinches.

“So, what you’re saying is that Ireland’s been doing business in Minnesota without the Regent’s approval, and now that Cade’s in office, you’re what? Not?” I probe.

“My brother and I aren’t doing business together. I don’t know what his plan is. The last time I had been here, which was the last of our business in Minnesota, was back in June, shortly before Solstice,” Finn answers. He keeps giving me more information. “I know there are still Irish associates here, but as to their business, I can’t say. I’m not involved with it.”

“But you’d want to be?” I push the last bit of my food around on my plate.

Finn carefully takes the plate from me. “I miss the excitement of it. I miss having purpose. The job at the university, I’ll do because you’re there and they’re sponsoring my visa, but it’s not fulfilling.”

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