Page 1 of Falling for Roxanne

CHAPTER 1

HAMILTON

“The robot shirt again?” I said, teasing my beautiful little boy. He was doing his robot pose, arms at sharp angles, wearing his orange shirt with the gray robot on it, his favorite. “You just wore that the other day.”

“It’s the best one,” he said seriously. “You said if it’s not dirty I can have it. It’s not even dirty now. See you can smell it. Smell it!”

“Come here, buddy,” I said, and I picked him up and pretended to sniff and smell him while he giggled and squealed. “Hmm, smells like a robot!” I said, blowing on his belly while he chuckled.

“Again!” he laughed, and I blew another raspberry on the robot shirt. When I went to set Colin on his feet, he threw his arms around me and squeezed my neck. “It’s a robot hug, you can’t get away!”

“Oh no! Your metal arms are too strong---I can’t escape!” I played along, pretending to struggle while he laughed hysterically. “Must. Get. Away. Can’t. Let. Super strong robot. Defeat me!” I groaned. “Okay, I surrender. Let me go.”

“Never!”

He did a really good evil cackle that I got a kick out of. I had to struggle not to laugh—he wanted me to take it seriously, and I knew it would hurt his feelings if I thought his evil robot routine was funny and cute instead of terrifying. “You have to give me candy! I won’t let you go if you don’t give me candy. I want four candies! Or two candies!” he said.

“I don’t have any candies, Mr. Robot. What about if I give you a piggyback ride to go brush your teeth?” I offered.

“No way, Mister. Robots don’t got any teeth.”

‘Then how can you eat candies?” I challenged. Colin made a face, not anticipating this argument.

“Robots got candy mashers that mash up candies in the machines. We don’t need teeth cause we don’t eat food. Just candies and nails and rocks.”

“We need to brush your candy mashers then. So you can still chew up your rocks at lunch,” I said, and whisked him into the bathroom and set him on the counter. I set the timer and did his molars with the electric toothbrush and then let him do the front teeth. Predictably, when he spat out the toothpaste it went everywhere.

“You gotta lean down, buddy. Otherwise, it gets on the mirror,” I said, wiping the mirror and faucet off with the hand towel and tossing it in the hamper. “Let’s comb this hair. You got your daddy’s hair, that’s for sure.”

“I got my hair. You can’t have it,” he said, stone cold serious.

“I meant it looks like my hair used to. It’s yours, it just looks like mine did. Sticking up in every picture until I was old enough to get a decent haircut. That reminds me, we need to take you to the barber this week.”

“Nooo! No!” he said and kicked his feet on the cabinet.

“I know it’s not your favorite, but I can’t have you getting all hairy like Bigfoot.”

“Hair keeps you warm in the winter, my teacher said so. Bears get more hair.”

“Bears live in caves, and they don’t go to school. You’re not a bear. You need a haircut. Also, this is California, so you’re not gonna need a fur coat. We’ll do the barber this week, and then maybe go get hot chocolate afterwards”

“Robots don’t like hot chocolate,” he grumbled.

“What about little bears? Do they like it?” I asked.

He cracked a smile before he could stop himself. “Bears like chocolate, but only if papa bears let them have clipped cream.”

“Whipped cream,” I corrected automatically, although privately I thought clipped cream was cute as hell. “And we’ll see if baby bear cooperates during the haircut.”

“I can zap the man with my robot laser,” he suggested. I had to really hold back a snort laugh on that one.

“No lasers. Come on, let’s get your shoes on.”

I set him down and he scrambled off to get his shoes. He came back with his rain boots on. The green dinosaur rubber boots that made me shake my head.

“You have to wear sneakers for gym,” I reminded him. “Here’s your red ones. They make you run fast, right?” I asked, hoping my cheerfulness would help avoid a meltdown over not getting to wear the boots.

Stubbornly, he continued to stomp around in the boots while doing robot arm moves. I checked my watch and silently took a deep breath. I loved my time with Colin. Having to hurry in the mornings to get him to school before I went to the office was sometimes a struggle.

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