Page 42 of Compelled Obedience

I dragged my tongue across my lips, tasting the tang of the dark cabernet along with a hint of his kisses. And his scent covered my body, staining my skin. A part of me never wanted to take a shower. I needed to apologize for my behavior, but if I did, he’d insist on seeing me.

What would be so bad about that?

The answer wasn’t easy to come by.

I dropped my head, running my fingers across the cut. At least Blackout was closed tonight. “I think I’ll do that. Be right back.” As I headed into the bathroom, I stopped just outside Casey’s door. Since I’d rescued him three years before, I’d longed to provide a house with a yard, a nice swing, and a dog so he’d never be alone. But not only were pets not allowed in the building, I’d be terrified to walk the poor creature for fear of what had just happened.

His door was cracked and I dared peer in. There were times he seemed like such a normal kid, playing with his Matchbox toys and the fire engine he loved so much. A flood of emotions swept through me and I was forced to suck in and hold my breath for fear of making a noise. The slightest shift in my personality caused him to fly into a tantrum. Tonight, I wasn’t certain I could handle it.

I stumbled into the tiny bathroom, closing the door and flicking on the light. The mirror over the sink was right in front of me and for at least two minutes, I stared at my reflection. How had Grant found me attractive? I looked haggard, much older than my twenty-seven years. Not that many of them had been easy, but it was a sad excuse.

While some people would say I was doing my best, I couldn’t help but think I could do so much better. I twisted my face, realizing my head hurt like a son of a bitch from the fall. I finally moved closer, groaning after seeing the cut. Yep. I was no nurse, but it was borderline that stitches were required. There was no way I could put Casey through that. He hated doctors, always throwing the kind of tantrum that challenged even me.

I’d need to take care of it myself, even if it scarred. I grabbed a washcloth, turning on the water. As soon as I placed the cloth against my cheek, I winced. Then tears tumbled past my lashes, falling across my hand. What a mess. What a complete mess.

Three minutes later, I was satisfied I’d done everything I could, including putting several butterfly bandages on the cut. Now I’d have to pray I could hide it with makeup tomorrow night. At least the lights were dim.

I walked out, realizing the little man had fallen asleep on his bed. Exhaling, I closed his door. At least his nap would give me a few more precious minutes alone. Rebecca had poured herself a small glass, refilling mine.

“Don’t worry. I’m going to figure out how to give you a raise. With my new job, I should be able to swing that.”

A look of relief crossed her face. “I’m glad. I really love being around Casey. I can study without being interrupted most of the time as well.”

At least her enthusiasm made me smile. “Tell me about school.”

As she jabbered on about perfectly normal things going on in her life, I was finally able to calm down. Although the letter I’d received a couple of days before slipped into my mind. Tomorrow I’d call the prison or the detective who’d worked the case and find out if my stepfather had been released. Ugh.

I had no idea how much time had passed but when I heard a knock on my door, I bristled.

Rebecca immediately stopped talking, her wide eyes full of fear.

“It’s okay. It might be my landlord.” Although I hoped it wasn’t. The last thing I wanted to do was get into a fight with the man right now. My strength and resilience were ebbing quickly. I headed to the door just as the person on the other side knocked again. There was no viewing hole in the cheap wood, no way of knowing who was on the other side.

Now fear crawled through every muscle, making me feel weak and uncertain. I put my hand on the knob, trying to take back control of my life. I refused to allow the jerk from before to take over. Besides, I doubted he’d be back. Grant was pretty scary.

Then I curled my fingers. What if it was my stepfather?

I backed away, determined to ignore whoever was on the other side of the door.

Then I heard his voice.

“Kerri. I hope you can hear me. It’s Grant. Look, I figured you might need some time alone, but I brought you something.”

He stopped talking and I could hear a hopeful hint in the lilt of his voice. I pressed my palm against the door, finally resting my cheek on the wood, my breathing labored.

I could hear his sigh of frustration. If only things were different.

“Okay, well, I’m not going to bother you but please open your door so the things won’t spoil. At least leave me a message tomorrow and let me know you’re okay.”

Hearing his footsteps pulled at every heartstring. Knots formed in my stomach, and I was about ready to throw open the door, inviting him inside, but it wasn’t good for Casey and right now, it couldn’t happen.

Seconds passed as I heard his footsteps fading away. Then minutes.

When I was certain he’d left, I carefully opened the door, peering down at several bags of groceries. I bent down, shaking my head, sifting through a few of the items. My God. He’d purchased several items that had been knocked from my hands, including Casey’s favorite cereal and the chocolate milk in a whole gallon. I glanced at the stairs, once again fighting the tears.

After struggling to carry them inside, almost dropping them before I managed to place them on the counter, a tiny thrill drifted into every already heated cell in my vein.

“Your visitor dropped these off?” Rebecca asked.

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