Page 14 of My Heart for Yours

He rolls me onto my back with him on top but supporting his weight so that he doesn’t crush me, and studies me for a moment. I try to turn my face away, scared that he will see the emotions there, but he gently places his palm on my cheek.

“Don’t. Please don’t hide from me? Not after last night.” Shit, my nose starts with its tell-tale burn and my eyes become a little watery, so I close them while I try to get my heartbeat under control. “Lisa, please just look at me. This is not some casual thing for me. I want you here because I …” Oh God.

“Don’t say it, please?” I practically beg as I cut him off. “This is just sex, two people who are attracted to each other, enjoying each other. You don’t have to convince me that there is anything more going on.” I’m such an idiot. He’s going to see right through me. Now I’ve ruined everything and should just go. I try to push against his chest to get him to move, but he still has me pinned down.

“Is that really what you think? Because I’m not buying it. If you want to deny your feelings, I can’t stop you, but this is the furthest thing from just sex to me. I’m in love with you, Lisa. And I know it’s quick and that you’re leaving, but I can’t help it. I definitely didn’t plan it this way, but I’m not going to lie here after the night we shared and tell you any differently.” He looks almost angry now, not in a way that scares me but in a way that shows me he is completely serious. And I’m being a coward because he just admitted that he’s in love with me and I’m still trying to hide. Then he does roll off of me and stands up from the bed, and my heart stutters to a stop. This is it. This is what I knew was coming. He walks into the adjoining bathroom without looking back and I feel the tears, that were threatening before, make an appearance. Time to get my things and get out because I’ve obviously overstayed my welcome. I wipe the tears away and start to get up just as Shane walks back into the room. He stops mid-stride when he sees my face and position on the bed, and he lifts a questioning brow.

“I should go. I …” That’s as far as I get because the next second, he’s kneeling in front of me by the bed and taking my hands in his. He looks me dead in the eyes and I know the time for hiding has passed. He’s not going to let this go, let me go, so I decide to give it to him straight. “Just so you know, you are not alone in this. I’ve fallen for you too. I don’t even know how or when it happened, and it scares the shit out of me. If you want …” but that’s as far as I get because he’s on top of me again, kissing me as though his life depends on our lips being connected just so, all our passion and emotion flowing back and forth from one to the other. It feels like a lifetime before he finally breaks the kiss, but his lips only move millimeters from mine, our noses still touching.

“Say it again.” He whispers this, low and gravelly and it turns my insides to mush, but not too much.

“Which part?” I tease him because I know what he wants to hear. They are my favorite words too. He gives this little growl which goes straight to my core and makes my heart beat faster again. Seriously, I don’t know how much more of this my heart can take. Shane tightens his embrace around me, and I give him what he wants. “I’m in love with you, Shane. Crazy, completely, head over heels in love with you.” And that’s it. Somehow, he manages to move me back to the middle of the bed while kissing me senseless and shows me how good “just sex” can be.

Shane

I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Sure, buying the bar is one of the highlights of my adult life, and Layla and I had some good times too, but that seems to fade into insignificance compared to this moment. Lisa loves me. She admitted it and now I’m showing her exactly how much that means to me. I thrust in and out of her body and the delicious warmth that is all her threatens to short circuit my brain and turn me into a mindless caveman. Every instinct demands that I take, possess, and claim her so that any thoughts of leaving me will be banished from her mind. Our movements become more frantic as if she can feel the urgency coursing through me and when we climax, it’s simultaneous and mind-blowing. I’m never letting her go.

We take a shower afterwards and I’m not going to lie, Lisa on her knees in front of me with the water running down over her curves and her mouth wrapped around me is going to be one of my favorite memories for a very long time. We dry off and I lend her one of my t-shirts to wear while her clothes are in the laundry. I remember thinking about her like this on the night we met but the reality far surpasses whatever image I could have conjured. She is truly stunning, in every way that is important and that goes far beyond the physical. I will never be able to not look at her when she is in the same room, but the way she thinks and the care she shows for those around her make her exceptional and the only woman I will ever want.

From the little bit she’s told me, I know she didn’t have it easy growing up and I understand now why she was reluctant to accept my invitation to spend Christmas day together, but I will show her that there are people in this world, namely me, who want her and will do anything to keep her. Whether it’s a matter of trust or fear of abandonment, we can deal with it together. I don’t think she will try to run from me again and I don’t intend to give her any reason to, so to this end I suggest we spend the day together, just relaxing at my place. There is still so much I need to know about her, and it makes me panic just a little that she hasn’t said anything about staying in town past New Years. By the same token, she hasn’t said anything about leaving either, but the uncertainty is eating at me and I’m going to have to get an answer out of her sooner rather than later. Just don’t push too hard, I keep repeating to myself.

We’re in my kitchen making breakfast and it feels so comfortable between us, so natural for her to be there and for me to be able to touch her whenever I like, which might become a problem if we want to eat anything today, or ever. In between dodging my groping hands, Lisa makes amazing-looking omelets while I fry up some bacon and prepare toast. Once the table is set, I promptly ignore her place and pull her down on my lap with both our plates in front of me. Not a problem at all. Lisa doesn’t stop smiling through all my antics and we actually manage to get the food to our mouths rather than all over the table.

Once the kitchen is cleaned up, we make our way back to my couch in the living room and Lisa once again takes her place on my lap. I wasn’t kidding, I plan on keeping her close and luckily, she doesn’t seem to mind so I’m going with it. She’s still wearing my t-shirt and her panties, and I can admit to being distracted from asking her any probing questions, but I figure I can ease into that. Before I can get my mind off her curves long enough to think of something to say, she asks, “Will you tell me about this festival tomorrow?” Yes, she plans on being there.

“It’s like an end-of-year send off. All the town’s residents get together and we have live music, food stalls, beer tents, and activities for the kids. Just one big get-together to say goodbye to the year that was and wish you well for the year ahead. Other towns do parades and shit but we’re so small, so we just do things our own way.” She smiles at that and then her face lights up.

“I could take photographs if people are interested. Something to remind them of the time spent together.” That right there is why I love her, why she’s so perfect for me. She doesn’t even know these people but she’s willing to spend her time doing something to make their experience better. I can’t help myself; I pull her face to mine and kiss her hard on the lips, not sensually because this is not about sex but so that she knows I love her. And then I tell her.

“I love you so damned much.” She looks so shocked and taken aback that I almost start to laugh. How can she still be surprised by this? Then she smiles the most beautiful smile, and her eyes get a little shiny. “I love you too.”

Lisa

We spend the rest of the morning curled up on Shane’s couch, not talking about much, just enjoying each other. It’s just before lunch now and Shane’s getting ready to go to work. I’ve changed back into my own clothes, something that seems to bother him, but when I asked him if everything is okay, he just shrugs with a noncommittal sure. I give him a nervous laugh.

“It’s not like I can go back to the inn wearing only your t-shirt. What would Mrs. Hanson say!” He looks away for a moment, then takes a deep breath.

“Speaking of Mrs. Hanson, what would you say to checking out of the inn and coming to stay here with me instead? I’m working till late tonight and have to start setting up early tomorrow morning and then who knows when I’ll be able to hold you in my arms again. Please, Lisa, stay here with me?”

I don’t know what to say. No really, how do I respond to this?! I mean, I want to. Of course, I do, but we still haven’t talked about the future. What if he gets tired of this arrangement? People fall out of love all the time. Where would that leave me? I’m pretty sure he can read the emotions on my face as clear as day because he steps closer to me and takes my hands. I will never get tired of him doing this. After all the intimate things we have done, this small gesture is the one that gets me every single time.

“Hey.” He pauses until I meet his eyes. “I’m in this with you for as long as you will have me, Lisa. And if that means I have to say goodbye to you in a couple of days, I will hate it and I will fight to keep you, but I will let you go if that is what you really want. But don’t doubt for a second that my feelings are real. I love you. I haven’t said that to another woman in a long time and I don’t intend to ever again, because you are the one I’ve been waiting for. I want you to stay here with me. Say you will.”

And that’s it. I can’t say no to him even if I wanted to, because I don’t want to and also because I’m now crying like a little girl. So embarrassing. Shane doesn’t hesitate, he just takes me in his arms and holds me tight, making little hushing sounds in my ear. At least the crying doesn’t last long, and I pull away just enough to look him in the eyes.

“I love you too and I’ll stay, but if you make me cry like this again, we are going to have words.” I try to say all of this with an earnest expression but can’t hold back my smile at the end. He returns my smile with one of his own and then kisses me again before pulling back.

“Shit, I need to get you a key.” I burst out laughing because that wouldn’t even have occurred to me. At least one of us can be in love and practical at the same time. After giving me one of his spares, we both leave his house and head back into town. I decide to stop at the diner first for lunch and barely place my order when Jay drops into the seat across the table from me.

“Hey, short stuff, what are you doing here? I thought you and Shane would still be shaking the bedsprings at his place. Don’t tell me you’re tired of him already, or did you break the bed?” I’m pretty sure I just turned stoplight red.

“Jay, keep your voice down! And what we did is none of your business, so don’t ask.” He just shrugs, not at all put out by my reaction.

“No worries, I’ll just talk to Shane later. He’ll tell me.” He smirks like he has all the answers, but I don’t buy it for a second.

“No, he won’t. But now it’s your turn to answer a question. What’s with the short stuff? I have a name; you know what it is. Why the nickname?” He looks at me like he’s trying to work out if this is a serious question.

“Uh, because you’re short. I thought this was obvious. It’s an endearment, Lisa, just go with it.” This not knowing what to say is really becoming a problem.

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