Page 13 of My Heart for Yours

During the next hour, Travis and Derick arrive and funnily enough this is the year none of us bring a guest. I suppose Lisa is technically Mom’s guest, but whatever. I don’t miss the curious glances they throw my way when they see her here, but at least they don’t make any smart comments in front of her. Not long after, Lisa calls us to the table and my excitement to be close to her takes over again.

The dining room has been transformed into a feast for the senses, festive decorations, the smell of delicious food laid out, and the promise of touching Lisa once we are seated next to each other. We haven’t had a chance to talk since I held her in the kitchen and I long to hear her voice, if only to try and determine where her head is at. At least she looks more comfortable, like she’s having a good time.

Once we’re all seated, Dad says grace, and everyone starts dishing. I make sure to touch Lisa’s hands every time I pass her a platter or dish, and the blush on her face tells me she is as aware of me as I am of her. All this does is give me hope that things can still work out the way I want. There isn’t a whole lot of conversation while we eat, which is fine by me. Derick must have told Mom and Dad that we sorted out our issues because Mom looks at us frequently, a content smile on her face. I’m glad we were able to give her this. Family is important to all of us and sharing this with Lisa means something to me. I get the impression she doesn’t have many good childhood memories and even though I can’t change that, I can give her a future that will make up for all the sad and lonely days she spent before we met. All I have to do is convince her to give me the chance.

Lisa

Not in a million years would I have imagined today going like this. Stephen and Marilyn welcomed me into their home, and I can admit to myself it feels amazing being part of their family celebration. I’ve never experienced anything like it. The love they share for each other and for their sons is almost a tangible presence and they all seem comfortable sharing this with me, a complete stranger. Okay, maybe not a complete stranger because short stuff? I still can’t get over that one and it makes me smile every time I hear it. Nobody has ever bothered giving me a nickname before and I like it, maybe a little too much. Jay is like a fun older brother, always joking and teasing, waiting to catch me off guard so that he can mess up my hair.

Then there's Shane, who looks at me like I'm important, pivotal to his existence, which is exciting and scary all at once. I can admit to myself that I’m attracted to him. I mean who wouldn’t be? He’s insanely handsome, smart, and funny with a good heart, but I also know that my feelings have grown to much more than just attraction and that’s what scares me most. I don’t have enough experience with relationships to know if I can do a casual fling and If I’m being honest, I’m already past that point and we haven’t even done anything yet. No kissing, nothing! I’m so screwed.

We leave his parents’ house and come here, to his place. It’s a log cabin on the outskirts of town with views of the surrounding mountains that steal your breath while holding your gaze captive. I park my Jeep behind Shane’s truck and he leads me into his home with a hand at my lower back. Did I mention that I love the way he touches me? Whether it’s holding my hand, which he does often, or these small touches at my back or hip, I feel it like a current through my entire body. It’s addictive and I find myself wanting to say something or at the very least reciprocate but putting myself out there like that is so far out of my comfort zone, I might as well be stuck on the moon.

It is immediately obvious that his home is decorated for comfort rather than style with accents in brown and dark blue and not a single feminine influence to be seen. If I had any doubt that Shane was single, this would have dispelled that doubt right away. The space feels comfortable and lived in with a large leather couch in the living room facing a beautiful stone fireplace. Images of being curled up on that couch with Shane on snowy winter nights fill my head and make my heart race and I have to caution myself not to get too caught up in the day’s festive spirit. This is all temporary after all.

I walk over to the large picture window and stare outside while trying to create a little distance and get my thoughts under control, but that becomes impossible the moment I sense Shane behind me. He’s close, the heat from his body spreading over my back like a blanket, and then his hands circle around my waist and his head comes to rest on my shoulder.

“I’ve been dying to do this the whole day.” He breathes into my ear and it sends shivers coursing through me. I’m sure he can feel my body’s reaction to him, so I don’t reply, just wrap my arms over his and hold on tight. We stand like that for a minute or two, just staring out the window while enjoying this new closeness before Shane lifts his head and then slowly turns me to face him while keeping his hands on my hips. His eyes drift over my face as if he’s studying me, memorizing my features. “Tell me what you’re afraid of so that I can chase those fears away.” I think I might melt from the look in his eyes, so I decide for once to take a chance, be brave and leap.

“This! Everything! Wanting you in a way I’ve never felt before and then finding out you don’t feel the same way.” He’s eyes go dark and his nostrils flare, but he remains still. Oh God, what have I done? “Please, say something.” I might actually beg if he doesn’t say something soon.

“How can you doubt for a second that I’m not right there with you? Lisa, I can’t think straight from wanting you. Just having you close like this is driving me crazy.” Then he pulls me into him and covers my mouth with his … and my mind goes blank. All I can do is feel his lips applying the perfect amount of pressure, moving over mine in a lover’s caress, demanding more, and mine responding with complete submission, opening up to him so that he can take what he wants, take everything.

It’s the strangest thing, for as much as he takes, he gives in return and all my earlier fears evaporate. We stand there, locked in our embrace, neither wanting to let go, sensing that this moment carries weight and significance far beyond a first kiss. Shane pulls his head back just enough to look me in the eye and then skims his nose over mine as if to reassure me that he’s not letting me go.

“I knew you were the one.” He says this in a whisper, but his declaration might as well have been shouted from the rooftop for all the power behind those words. They make me smile and then I laugh because I’m so happy there is no way I could hide it from him. From the look on his face, Shane understands and then we are both laughing and holding onto each other.

After building a fire and moving the couch a little closer to the fireplace, he goes into the kitchen to make us hot chocolate. I should pinch myself, but if this is a dream, I don’t want to know, so I curl up on the couch instead and wait for Shane to join me. A sense of comfort and belonging surrounds me but a nagging voice in my head tries to convince me not to get too used to this. The feelings don’t last, people choose one thing and then change their minds, and they leave. I experienced this often enough growing up. I know about hurt and disappointment, but I also know that if I don’t take this chance, I might never find the kind of love and happiness I experienced today and I want that, with all my heart. And I want it with Shane.

He sits down next to me and hands me a mug filled with chocolaty goodness topped with mini marshmallows. We both take a sip and when we look back at each other, burst out laughing.

“You have …” we say at the same time, pointing at our lips. Once our laughter subsides, Shane leans over to me and gives me a kiss, effectively licking the sweetness off my lips, and when he pulls back, I see the lust in his gaze, and it ignites my own.

Shane

I want her. In every way, in every position, but most importantly, I want her for forever. She’s never looked more beautiful to me than she does right now, here in my home, on my couch with marshmallow on her lip. So sexy and she doesn’t even realize she’s tied me in knots with my heart trying to beat itself out of my chest. I know this is fast. I know she has fears I still don’t know about, but I will make it my mission to put them to rest and show her she belongs with me. To me. I want to work for her, earn her, and do anything and everything to make this count. I want to show her that I’m not like everyone else who disappointed her and let her down, and that I will be there for her. Always.

We chat while we finish our drinks, just normal conversation about the day, my parents, and brothers. I love how curious she is about their lives and I tell anecdotes from our childhood, keeping the conversation light. At one point I pull her onto my lap, and she snuggles into me without hesitation, making herself more comfortable and I love that too. Soon we’re kissing again, making out like a couple of teenagers and I have to stop myself from taking her right there on the damn couch. That is not how I want our first time to go. Lisa deserves better, to be worshipped for the amazing woman she is and for the place she has claimed in my heart. I try and slow things down, but she notices and pulls back slightly, uncertainty clear on her face. Before she can say anything, I attempt to put her mind at ease.

“Sweetheart, do you have any idea how much I want you right now?” I shift so that she can feel how hard I am beneath her. “But I’m not going to rush you and I’m definitely not going to make a move on my couch. Please believe me when I say pulling away from you is the last thing I want to do.” She looks me in the eye for what feels like hours, stands up from my lap and then she holds out her hand to me, a shy smile playing on her lips.

“Then take me to bed, Shane.”

Cole

I pull her to me, and she comes willingly this time. All soft and compliant, the fight left her just minutes ago, like I imagine it will with my angel as well. I’m doing it all for her after all.

Chapter 7

Lisa

If I could, I would write poetry about Shane and our night together, or maybe a song like one of those 80s rock ballads. The way he moved inside me, the way he made me feel every little thing he did, the utter devotion in his touch. The images play on repeat behind my closed eyelids as I lie in his bed, pretending to be asleep, because I know the moment I wake up for real, things are going to be different.

We fell asleep in the early hours of this morning spooned around each other but must have moved apart as if to foreshadow that this was not a permanent arrangement. Now I can feel Shane stretch out next to me and the time for pretense is over. I open my eyes slowly, turn my head to face him and freeze. The look on his face …

You know those romantic comedies where the guy and the girl spend ninety percent of the movie miscommunicating, misunderstanding and generally just being miserable? Yeah, I’m not a fan. I prefer action movies, lots of things blowing up, car chases and suspense, but I’m getting off track. When the guy and the girl finally get their act together and acknowledge what a blind person could see, the guy will get this lovestruck look on his face that used to totally creep me out. However, I can see that same look on Shane’s face now and it steals my breath.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He leans closer, attempting a kiss but I pull back. I don’t doubt for a second that I must look like a complete wreck and also, “Uh, morning breath?” He chuckles, grabs me behind the head and pulls me closer. “Lisa, I had my mouth on every part of your body last night. I don’t care about morning breath. Now kiss me.” I move into him and give what he demands because, yeah, he really did have his mouth everywhere. The kiss is slow, deep, and sensual and I can feel Shane becoming aroused again. I can’t deny how happy that makes me, even if this is only physical for him. I can put my feelings aside for a few days and enjoy this. I can!

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