Page 11 of My Heart for Yours

“I’ll think about it,” is all I manage as I get up and start gathering my things to go settle my bill. And then I rush out of the diner without a backward glance.

Shane

How did it all go so wrong?! One minute we were connecting in a way I haven’t felt in years and the next she was practically running out the door. I don’t know who was more shocked, me or Mel standing by the cash register who accepted a $100 bill from Lisa. Dammit, she must have covered the bills of just about every person in here. And now I’m sitting here alone.

“Well, that can’t be good.” Or not. Jay slides into the seat that Lisa just vacated and pins me with his I’m-the-teacher-so-don’t-give-me-any-of-your-bullshit stare. “What happened?” I sigh, because he’s not going to let this go and the sooner I tell him what he wants to know, the sooner he can tell me how to fix it.

“I fucked it up, man.” I proceed to tell him of our conversation and he actually cringes at the last part.

“Damn right you fucked it up. What’s wrong with you?! What part of take it easy did you not understand?” He’s really mad at me.

“I just want to spend time with her. Every possible moment, all of it. It drives me crazy to think that she’ll be leaving soon.” And now I sound like a teenage girl, pouring out her feelings in her diary. Jeez.

“Then you should tell her.” He says this like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Tell her what?” He actually rolls his eyes at me, but I obviously don’t get it.

“What you just told me, dumbass. Tell her you’re in love with her and you don’t want her to leave.” Okay, maybe Jay is not the best person to be giving advice after all.

“Oh yeah, that will go over well. She can’t handle meeting Mom and Dad, but me being in love with her she’ll accept. You’re crazier than I am.” He gives me his patented knowing smile which immediately sets me on edge.

“So, you’re not denying it then.” His smirk is getting a little annoying, just saying.

“Denying what, that we’re both crazy? I think that has been established.” He shakes his head and then spells it out.

“No, man, that you’re in love with Lisa.” I stare at him dumbfounded, because one of us has lost our mind, and I’m not a hundred percent convinced it’s Jay. Is that it? I can admit to myself that I’m seriously attracted to her, that I admire her strength and character, and that I find her insanely beautiful. But love? I think again about her leaving and the pain in my chest becomes almost unbearable. I think that answers that question.

Lisa

I practically jog down the sidewalk to put as much distance between Shane and I as possible, all the while berating myself for my reaction. You’re overreacting Lisa, just calm down, but it’s not that easy. There weren’t many people who took pity on me when I was growing up, mainly because nobody knew what my life was like. I never told because grown-ups, you know. Pity is not something I deal with very well.

It doesn’t matter. Shane is different, I can feel that bone deep every time we’re in the same room together. When did that even happen? He went from barely able to stand being in the same town to looking at me like he wants to keep me close. I mean that hug in the diner felt indescribable and opening up to him felt good too. It wasn’t easy, but I’m tired of being alone and I want to explore this thing with Shane as much as he does. And now I’ve ruined everything.

I slow my pace and take in my surroundings, trying to figure out where I am in relation to the Lemon & Lime. Might as well go back there and try to come up with a plan to fix the mess I made, but nothing looks familiar. I see a lady, probably in her mid to late fifties, standing next to a bench, holding onto it as though she needs it to keep herself upright and approach slowly, thinking I can ask her for directions, but the closer I get, the more I notice that she is deathly pale and looks as lost as I am.

“Hi there, are you okay?” I keep my voice low and give her a friendly smile which she returns right away.

“Oh honey, I’m just fine. I think I might have misplaced my car though, a light blue one?” She looks at me as if I might know where she parked and I’m about to shake my head when I notice a late model light blue Honda parked a couple of spaces away. I point to it.

“Like that one?” She gives a small gasp before grabbing my hand.

“That the one! I think you’ve brought me good luck today.” So sweet, but she really doesn’t look well.

“It’s no problem at all, let me walk with you.” She gives my hand a squeeze and we walk over to the car together with her still holding on to my hand. I start to wonder if she should be driving, considering her fragile appearance, or if I should offer to call someone to come fetch her. Before I can suggest it, she surprises me with her next words.

“Do you like to drive?” Odd question, but I answer anyway.

“I do, but I’m afraid my car’s not close by.” I decide not to mention that I have no idea where my car is.

“That’s no problem at all. You can drive me home and then Stephen can bring you back after.” I suppose that works too.

“Sure, we can do that.” I help her to the passenger side and make sure she’s buckled in securely before getting in behind the wheel. In between giving me directions to her home she tells me her name is Marilyn and that she and her family have lived in this town for almost thirty years. Her husband Stephen brought her here shortly after they got married and their children still live here too, except for her one son who’s in the military and stationed overseas. We finally park in front of a beautiful Craftsman-style house with a large wraparound porch complete with a swing, and I have to stop myself from imagining what it must have been like to grow up here. After helping Marilyn out of the car, we make our way up the steps to the porch and she lets us into her home. Before I can get a chance to look around, she leads me to the kitchen and immediately puts on a pot of tea. “I’ve been looking forward to this all morning.” She’s moving around much more confidently, and I relax enough to take a seat on one of the barstools at the counter. “So dear, you said you’re just visiting. Do you have family here that you will be spending your Christmas with?” For a moment I consider lying because I really don’t feel like explaining my life right now, but Marilyn has been nothing but kind, so I decide to give her a truthful, if abbreviated answer. However, before I can get the words out, a man slightly older than her walks into the kitchen.

“Hello, my darling! Stephen, this is Lisa. She helped me home this morning. Lisa, this is my husband Stephen.” Her face is radiant with love and again I have to stop my imagination from taunting me with something I might never have. Oh, and Stephen is a hugger. For the second time today, I’m held close for just a moment, and I accept the gesture for what it is, profound gratitude.

“Hello, Lisa, nice to meet you. Thank you for bringing my heart home.”

Damn, I want that so badly. I have no words to respond. Eventually I get out a strangled, “You’re welcome.” Marilyn pours tea for the three of us before placing it on a tray which Stephen carries to their living room.

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