Page 21 of My Heart for Yours

“We have a lead.” Finally, after days of waiting there is suddenly a wave of activity. The police tracked down a property located a couple of hours from Marshall Falls. It belongs to an uncle on Starke’s mother’s side, and apparently it is huge and isolated, perfect for keeping someone against their will without anybody finding out. Reeves tries to keep me from going with them, but short of locking me up in one of the police holding cells, that’s never going to happen. Now we’re speeding off to rescue my heart, because these last few days I’ve been lost without her.

Jay and Aaron are with me; Jay for moral support and Aaron in case we need a doctor at the scene. God, please don’t let her be hurt. I’m trying to prepare myself for those worst case scenarios that tortured me every night that Lisa was away from me. Whatever we find when we get there, we will deal with it together. Nothing will keep us apart ever again. For once, Jay and Aaron are quiet, as if sensing that I need this time to compose myself and I appreciate that. I know this is hard for them too. Jay and Lisa have become close friends and Aaron got to know Lisa through Tinsley who has been just as distraught by this ordeal. It helps to know that Lisa will have them to look out for her, to help with her recovery in whatever way she needs, but we need to find her first. Everything else fades into insignificance.

We reach the property and two things become apparent within minutes of our arrival: one, Cole definitely brought Lisa here and two, she isn’t anywhere to be found.

Lisa

Everything hurts! I woke up lying at the bottom of a flight of stairs, sprawled out on top of … Cole? He’s not moving, and the open eyes and weird angle of his head tell me his neck is broken and he is dead. Did I do this? A vague sense of being in danger and needing to get away tries to rise to the surface of my consciousness, but it feels like I’m trudging through quicksand and my responses are delayed. I struggle to get up, get my legs under me, and stand up straight but black spots cloud my vision almost immediately and I grab hold of the banister to keep from falling over. My head is throbbing and a quick touch to the back reveals blood, lots of blood. I read once that head wounds bleed a lot, but this seems excessive and nausea overtakes me. I can’t stay here! I need to move! I don’t know where the threat is coming from, but my fight-or-flight instinct is screaming at me to get out of this house right away, so that’s what I do. But it’s slow going and I think I might have cracked a rib because just breathing is setting my body on fire. I manage to shuffle to the front door which is miraculously unlocked. Pure white greets my gaze, the snow practically blinding me, but I carry on moving until I reach the gate at the end of the driveway. Again, it just swings open and I walk through. Why was I in danger if I could have just left? Nothing makes sense and now the cold is starting to make itself known, but my brain refuses to process anything except for the fact that I’m going to die out here in the middle of nowhere. There is no proper road leading away from the house, so I have no idea where I’m going and those black spots are closing in again, a welcome relief from the icy cold and the white glare of the snow.

Shane

There’s so much blood! Cole is dead, lying at the foot of the stairs with a broken neck which means the blood must be Lisa’s, but she’s not here! What the fuck happened? Did she manage to get away, or is someone else involved, an accomplice? That seems unlikely based on what Joe’s profiler friends had to say, but if that’s not the case, where is she? Police searched the house from top to bottom but there is no sign of her and I’m about to lose my mind. We start searching the perimeter of the property as well as the surrounding land, when one of the officers calls out for Aaron and we both take off at a sprint.

She’s unconscious, lying in the snow in only her jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with her feet bare and her body broken. So small and fragile, my heart breaks for what she must have gone through. Hold on, beautiful, I’ve got you now.

It doesn’t look like she’s been here long, but we rush her to the nearest police cruiser which takes off with her and Aaron in the back seat. Waiting for an ambulance would take too long and Aaron doesn’t say much but I know he’s concerned. The hospital nearest to Marshall Falls is one town over and we all rush straight there to wait for news. It feels like all I do is wait, but at least this time Lisa is close, and I know she’s alive and being cared for. Jay sits next to me and looks just as anxious as I do. He had the presence of mind to call Dad and let him know we found Lisa. They offered to meet us here, but there didn’t seem to be much point in all of us sitting in this small waiting room with its uncomfortable chairs. Jay promised to call as soon as we had anything to report.

It’s a little over three hours before Aaron and another doctor walk into the waiting room. When he asks to speak to Lisa’s family, both Joe and I stand up and move closer, because there’s no way I’m not getting the news firsthand and Joe doesn’t say anything either. The doctor doesn’t waste any time, explaining that Lisa has a concussion and two cracked ribs but other than that she’s in good health. He does seem concerned that she hasn’t woken up yet and will be keeping her here for at least a day or two. With that he turns and disappears back down the passage from where they came. Definitely a man of few words, but then Aaron pulls me aside with a somber look on his face and I get a very bad feeling.

“I explained the circumstances around Lisa’s injuries to Dr. McKenzie, so he did a sexual assault forensic exam.” Oh God, please not this. “It came back negative, but she was definitely restrained while Starke had her, obvious from the rope burns around her wrists and ankles. I just want you to keep this in mind for when she wakes up, because she’s going to need your support, both physically and emotionally.” I hear what he’s saying and appreciate his concern, but it’s unnecessary.

“I hear you man, and I’m not going anywhere. Whatever she needs, I’ll be here for all of it.” I know he doesn’t really need me to say it. He knows how I feel about Lisa, but I appreciate that he’s showing the same amount of care for her that he would for any other patient.

“Come on then, I’ll take you to her so you can see for yourself that she’s going to be okay.” He squeezes my shoulder, then turns away, and I follow him down the passage.

She looks so small in the hospital bed; so still that I have to study her closely for a moment to make sure I can see her chest move. Of course, there are plenty of machines monitoring her as well, but they seem less reassuring and more an indication of everything that is wrong. I move quietly to her side and gently take her hand, careful not to touch the bandage wrapped around her wrist. I’ve missed holding her hand, this small gesture that means so much. Hers is still and cool to the touch, and I try not to read anything into that because she’s here and she’s safe. However, I would give anything for her to curl her fingers around mine and hold onto me the way I want to hold her. I’m vaguely aware that Aaron has left the room, so I drag the guest chair next to the bed and sit down.

“Hey, beautiful, do you have any idea how happy I am to see you? I’ve missed you so damned much and I know you’re hurting right now, but I’m going to take such good care of you, you’re going to love me forever.” The words get stuck in my throat and my eyes start to water, but I don’t care enough to wipe the tears away. “Joe is here too, and Jay. We’ve all been really worried about you so they’ll come and see you in a bit, but I couldn’t go another second without seeing with my own eyes that you are here and that you’re going to be okay. Joe’s really cool. I can see why you get along well, but I’m not sure he likes me all that much, so you’ll have to put in a good word for me, okay? You need to tell him that you’re going to stay with me. We can visit him in Chicago as often as you like, but Marshall Falls will be your home now. I think it will sound better coming from you though.” The heart rate monitor keeps up its steady rhythm as it bears witness to my emotions pouring out and this keeps me going. “So, you have to wake up, okay? Not right now, because I know you need to rest, but soon. I want to see those beautiful green eyes and your gorgeous smile, and I want to hear you say you love me.”

Lisa

The sound of beeping equipment and the smell of disinfectant tells me everything I need to know about my surroundings. Strangely enough, I’m not in too much discomfort, so probably not hurt too badly. That’s good, right? Now I just need to open my eyes, but that turns out to be a bit more difficult than I would have thought possible. How can lifting your eyelids take such effort? I give up in favor of a nap and when I wake up, Joe is sitting next to me, staring off into the distance. I try to speak but again the effort required is just too much. He notices anyway and gives me one of his Joe smiles.

“Hey, kiddo, welcome back. How’re you feeling?” I try to return the smile, but I think I might have missed the mark. He looks at me expectantly, worry creeping back onto his face.

“Hey, Joe, I’m okay. What happened?” Yeah, definitely not convincing anyone.

“We found you at Starke’s place up in the mountains and brought you back here to get checked out. You have a mean bump on the back of your head and a few cracked ribs, but you’re going to be fine. We’ll have you out of here in no time.”

I ask because I have to be sure, “Is Cole …?” Joe doesn’t hesitate to reassure me.

“He’s dead, Lisa. You don’t have to worry about him ever again. What do you remember?” I try to organize my thoughts and memories but as with dreams, it’s difficult to distinguish between what is real and what isn’t.

“He grabbed me at the festival, drugged me and took me to that house. Kept me tied to a bed in the basement until I found an opportunity to escape.” That’s as much as I want to say about that, and Joe must see this because he doesn’t push. “Thank you for finding me.” That seems to take him by surprise, but then he almost looks upset.

“Kiddo, I will always be here for you. No matter how old you are, if you need me, I will come for you. And besides, Shane would not rest until we found you. Drove me insane. Don’t know how you put up with him.” I know Joe’s teasing, but I’ve stopped listening. Shane! Emotions rush over me and I struggle to breathe while the beeping of the heart monitor picks up speed. “Hey, calm down, kiddo. He’s here, just stretching his legs and getting some coffee. I’ll go get him for you, but you have to calm down, okay?” I nod my head because I’m unable to speak and Joe leaves the room to go find Shane.

By the time he appears by the side of my bed, I’m all but hyperventilating again.

“Hey, hey, what is this? I’m right here beautiful. I’m right here and I won’t let you out of my sight ever again.” With that, he carefully climbs onto the bed next to me and gently holds me to his chest and just like that, I can breathe again. The beeping monitor resumes its less frantic pace and for a couple of minutes we just hold each other. I don’t move a muscle or say a word for fear that the spell might be broken, and I will be all alone again, but somehow Shane senses this and holds me a little tighter, careful not to hurt my ribs, and whispers words of love and comfort in my ear. And what do I do? Yep, you guessed it. I turn on the water works, and not a dignified little cry either. Worst of all, I can’t seem to make it stop. God, I’m pathetic.

Shane

I swear she’s going to rip my heart out if she keeps this up. I thought finding her and having her in my arms again would take care of the helplessness I’ve been feeling for the past few days, but this is so much worse. I feel her shaking in my embrace and her tears forming wet spots on my shirt, and all I can do is pray to whoever is listening to take this anguish from her and lay it on my shoulders instead because I will endure it all for her. I have no idea what she went through while she was held captive by Starke, but I realize now that even though many of my worst-case scenarios didn’t materialize, the trauma is very real for her.

It takes her a few minutes to calm down and all that remains of her crying jag are those little hiccups and sniffles that girls do after a good cry. She’s got her face turned into my shoulder and refuses to make eye contact. I lift her chin so she can’t turn away.

“Sweetheart, please don’t hide from me. I can’t bear the thought of you dealing with this on your own, so I need you to make me a promise, okay? Whenever things get too much for you, you reach out for me and I’ll stand with you. I’ll be your strength and your voice if you need it, and when the time comes that you don’t need me in that way, reach out for me anyway and I will love you because that is all I’ve ever wanted.”

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