Page 55 of The Skeikh's Games

She shook her head. “Miles doesn’t tell me much of anything about his past, just that it was terrible and he’s trying to get past it.”

“Oh, well I don’t want to say something if he doesn’t want… well, I guess it doesn’t really matter, since it’s kind of public knowledge anyway.”

“What is?”

“Miles was pretty much the loner. To hear my brother tell it, he got into fights constantly. He was smart about it though, and almost never got in trouble for it. The whole school was terrified of him. If anyone tried to talk to any of the teachers or faculty, he’d follow them home and put them in the hospital.”

Saundra furrowed her brows. “What? No, I can’t believe that.”

Jared shrugged again. “That’s what my brother told me. All I’m saying is, maybe you’re doing everything you can for him. And maybe that’s not enough.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe by trying to support him, you’re holding him back. Enabling him.”

“Are you saying I should do some tough love with him or something? That’s ridiculous.”

Even as she said it, though, she was forced once more to consider the possibility. Was she holding him back?

Miles sat on the couch, the latest batch of job applications spread out on the coffee table as he filled them out. He wasn’t quitting, but with every application, he felt more and more depressed about the whole thing.

He wasn’t going to quit. He couldn’t. It’d been a week and a half, and though it wasn’t a terribly long time, rent was coming up and he had nothing to contribute. He was nothing but a drain on Saundra’s time and resources. He hated himself for it.

He was better than this. He could find a job, he could keep a job. He had to believe that was possible, otherwise what was the point? He was better than this.

Miles sniffed derisively and continued filling out the applications. This was such bull. He set down the pen and shook his hand out. He wasn’t sure what he’d hurt in his hands from beating Blake, but he’d definitely injured himself. He had been waiting for a call from the police, or for them to just show up at his door, but after so long he assumed that wasn’t going to happen. That was for the best. He’d make sure Blake knew who was in the wrong, there. This wasn’t Miles fault, he didn’t start it, but he’d sure as hell finish it.

As he massaged the ache out of his hand, he looked out over the applications. He’d worked in so many places, in so many different trades and fields. Nothing stuck. He had a little bit of knowledge in everything. It made him versatile, but he longed for the ability to just have a career, to be an expert in something. After all of these years trying to be stable, if he’d been able to just stick with one damn job, he could’ve moved up. Manager at a fast food place is still a manager! Having that title, that experience, he could totally take it to finding better jobs somewhere else.

But no. Now he was a grown man filling out applications for a pizza joint, a bagger at the local grocery store, and working in an auto parts store. Entry level, minimum wage crap. He was so damn tired of entry level crap.

He should’ve been past this stage in his life by now. Everyone else was. He was just holding himself back, holding Saundra back. He could feel himself teetering on the edge of giving up, of letting his shame overtake him. He couldn’t let it.

Shaking his head quickly to clear the thoughts, he took up the pen again and went back to filling out the applications. Stressing about it wouldn’t fix it. Only action. If he wanted change, he had to make things change. Only by doing could he make things better. Saundra had been there for him through so much, she deserved better.

After finishing two more applications, his cell rang. He didn’t recognize the number, but with all of the applications he’d been filling out lately, he was hopeful it was a call about a job.

After a quick introduction, the person on the other end informed him that his ex, Tracy, was claiming him the father of her four year old child and was now seeking back-pay for child support.

“Whoa, whoa, what? This is the first I’m hearing about this.”

“You’ve been virtually untraceable in that time. Our records show you’ve been moving from state to state for some time avoiding your responsibilities. Well I’m here to tell you that’s caught up with you.”

“I haven’t been avoiding anything!” Miles jumped up from the couch, the job applications all but forgotten. “I’ve been trying to survive. I’ve been working and trying to find a place to live. Tracy’s had my number, and she never mentioned anything before. This is crap. I don’t believe it.”

“We have your address, sir. We’ll be sending you all of the necessary paperwork. If you want to refute the claim, be sure to fill out the forms by the deadline and send them back. Until then, save everyone the trouble, and get your financial affairs in order to start supporting the life you helped bring into this world.”

“It’s not my kid,” he said as much to the operator as to himself. When the line clicked, he shouted, “It’s not my kid!” and nearly threw his phone against the wall.

Four years back-pay for child support. The thought nearly brought him to his knees. How much was that? Even if it was just a few hundred, multiplied over twelve months, times four…

His eyes ached with the need to cry in his frustration, but he denied himself the release. Finally the sense that all was lost set in. Nothing he could do would fix anything.

Feeling completely desolate inside, lost, and positive the news would lose him the love of his life, Miles picked up his jacket and went out to have a drink.

Saundra sat on the couch biting her thumbnail while watching the commercials go by on TV. The shows were barely enough to keep her occupied so she didn’t implode out of anxiousness. Miles had been gone all day and wasn’t answering his phone. It was two in the morning, and she knew she was going to be a zombie the next day at school, but she just couldn’t sleep if she didn’t know he was okay. He’d been depressed about the job thing, and money. No matter how much she tried to tell him she had a handle on things until he had a new job, but he didn’t listen.

When she heard his keys at the door, she jumped from the couch and rushed over to unlock it and let him in. The slow way he looked up at her, confused as to why the door was open told her everything she needed to know.

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