Page 57 of Disgrace

“Who says I am?” I counter his smugness with my own. He balks and barks out a deep laugh.

“Yeah, right…You are not the cheating type, so what gives?” He narrows his eyes at my silence. “I know she was at your club, but you can’t be serious…she plays?” He shifts in his seat and turns to face me fully, his expression alight with surprise and disbelief.

“Weplay.” I correct. “It’s early days. I know she is game but honestly I’m not sure I am…not with her.” I try to shrug off my statement but he splutters, making it much more of a deal than I wanted to discuss over a late lunch.

“What! You’re kidding?” His eyes widen with surprise.

“I’m not. I saw the way she looked at you, and I could just about control my rage because it’s you. The thought of anyone else touching her, and all I see is red mist. Hell, I am ready to do time for that woman.” I laugh but I’m deadly serious.

“Fuck, you’re totally screwed.” Will chuckles and clinks his glass to mine.

“Yeah, I am.” I grin and join him with a more relaxed, deep belly laugh.

“Damn, so no sharing, hmm?” Will muses playfully.

“Now, I didn’t say that, did I?” I bite my lips to stop my own grin, but Will’s is wide enough for the both of us.

“I think you did.” He corrects but his brows are arched high with excited expectation.

“No, I said I didn’t like theideaof sharing. But the whole threesome thing is a fantasy of hers. Something she’s never done, and that is definitely something I want to give her.” Will’s grin spreads even wider, and I fight the tiny embers of jealousy that flicker inside. I check myself. This is my choice after all. I could do this for her with someone I trust…maybe. We finish our meal and catch up. I haven’t seen him in months, but it’s like I saw him yesterday. I promise to take Sam out to visit, and he promises to take us both out for a spin in one of the Coast Guard high speed boats. He has been seconded to them to help with illegal trade in tropical fish. I knew he did something with fish. The food was good and the conversation has kept me distracted. I check my watch, the time approaches six o’clock, and I only now think to check my phone.

No messages.

I get a sinking feeling that this can’t be good. She really wanted the job at the Mission. Ireallywanted her to get this job for purely selfish reasons. I hate to contemplate the consequences of not getting it and the possibility that she would doubt her choice and return to her career as a Dominatrix.

“Still no messages.” I flick the phone shut at his observation. “She could be out celebrating.” Will tries to comfort me.

“She would’ve called if that was the case. Look, do you mind if we swing by her place? If she hasn’t called, it’s probably not good news.” I slide out from the curved bench and fish in my pocket for my wallet.

“Wouldn’t she call you with that too though?” Will replaces his when I tip more than enough bills in to the centre of the table.

“No. She wouldn’t want to ruin your night.” I grab my jacket and pass him his from the hook on the edge of the booth.

“Why would it ruin my night?”

“Because I would bail on you, you fucking idiot!” I shake my head. “Christ, it’s a good job you got some of my looks, because you sure struck out in the brains department.”

“Cute and it’s a good job I got the lion’s share in the junk department, because your girl is going to need me now, since you’ve traded in your dick in for lady parts.” His shoulders start to shake with amusement.

“Arsehole.” I punch him in his shoulder, catching him hard but he laughs then curses and rubs the impact spot. His laughter is now uncontrollable, but he does get out one last comeback.

“Thundercunt.”

I burst out laughing at his insult. “I like that…I might get a t-shirt.” I join his laughter now as we leave the restaurant and head toward Sam’s apartment.

I wait impatiently for Sam to buzz me in, checking my phone one more time. I can see Will shake his head in my periphery but I don’t care. The buzzer sounds and I push through and immediately start pounding on her front door. The large shadow that appears on the other side of the split glass panelled door makes my heart sink. Leon swings it wide, half asleep and running his hand through his hair. I push past, not bothering with an introduction.

“Jesus man, don’t you own a shirt?” I mutter.

“I just woke up.” I hear him yawn.

Sam’s room is empty. Several outfits are laid out on her bed where she’d obviously been choosing what to wear for her interview. I get a tight pinch in my chest thinking how my confident girl must have actually been quite nervous given the number of clothes strewn across the bed and hanging off the wardrobe doors. I can’t actually see the covers underneath. Nothing else seems out of place though. I turn sharply and walk back to the front door where Leon is rubbing his eyes and staring blankly at Will.

“Leon, this is Will.” My introduction is curt, and I nod to motion Will to follow me into the flat. Will shakes Leon’s hand they chat about something or nothing but end up beside me in the living room.

“Where is she?” I snap. Leon looks at his watch, and his brows start to furrow. He looks up at me, and his face pales. It’s not that late, I know. She could just as easily have met a friend and got caught up catching up. So why does Leon look ill?

“Leon, where the fuck is she?” He doesn’t answer but strides off to his room. He returns instantly with his phone. He silently flicks through, and I can feel my bubbling anger begin to rise. “For fuck sake, Leon, where is she?”

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