Page 66 of Disgrace

“I don’t fuck whores.” He spits in my face, hitting my cheek with warm saliva that drips slowly down my face.

“No, you just fuck children, you sick bastard. You’re a fucking monster.” The anger I feel courses through me, and I can’t keep the emotion in my voice level. I would kill him with my bare hands if I were only free to do so.

“Something I can thankyoufor.” He lets out a slow chuckle that sickens my soul. “Once you have virgin pussy there really is no comparison. It’s hardly my fault the pool of virgins is diminishing and girls today are sluts. If they kept their legs together a little longer, I would not be forced to hunt in a younger pond.”

“Wow, you really believe that? You are as deranged as you are twisted. There is a special place in hell for people like you, you know that?” My mouth pools with bile, but I choke it back. He makes my skin crawl.

“Hmm, I don’t doubt, so I may as well have as muchderangedfun as I can, don’t you think? Starting with you. I intend to make the next few days so unpleasant, you will be begging me to fuck you, just to relieve the agony.” He purses his lips in a sadistic smile and drags his beady eyes slowly up the length of my exposed and vulnerable body.

“I’ll die before that day, Richard.” I tip my chin with all the hatred I feel focused in my glare and into his soulless eyes.

“All in good time, Sweetheart, all in good time.” Cruel amusement distorts his face. His eyes are devoid of any life. I can feel my body start to tremble, and I have to focus all my remaining strength to not let my terror show. “But for now, I need you a little less defiant. I have a client that has very specific tastes, and I don’t have much time before he arrives. He requested you unmarked, untouched, but notunharmed. I can work with those parameters for now.” He walks away, and I let out a breath I had been holding, but it’s a deep breath, and I cry out at the sudden pain. He turns sharply and raises a brow. “Problem, Grace?” I don’t know what is worse, my ribs, which are obviously broken, or the way he uses my birth name like he owns it. He can have it. I am Sam, and I am Selina, and I will die before I give him any more of me.

“You need to work on your drama, Dick. Often less is more. I would happily give you some lessons, but I have a strict no arsehole rule.” I bite a thin smile and silently brace myself. He steps closer and leers over me.

“Lucky for me I have no such rule, but you will find that out very soon.” He snickers but the sound holds no amusement.

“See that’s what I mean…you give itallaway.” I see the fury in his eyes at my mocking tone, but it’s not the last thing I see. The last thing I see is his fist before the searing pain flashes across my face and I feel the gush and warm trickle of blood, I pass out before I can taste the metal on my lips.

Oh, that feels nice, soft and warm against my face. I drift slowly back to consciousness, but I can feel the stiffness on my face from the dried blood so this feels like heaven. My eyelids are puffy and sore, but thankfully, not from tears. He doesn’t deserve my tears. I open them as wide as the swelling will allow and see bright, piercing blue eyes staring kindly, inches away from my face. I smile but my lips feel awkward and hurt. Lolli rubs the damp cloth across my mouth and like magic they feel instantly more mobile. The blood must have fixed them almost closed. Her face is the picture of concentration as she very carefully wipes my face and neck clean, taking time to rinse and pat my skin dry. The bowl of water balanced on her lap is now crimson with my blood, but she looks happy with the result. I personally couldn’t care what I look like, but I do feel a hundred times better from the mini bed bath.

“Thank you, Lolli.” She looks surprised at my gratitude which confuses the hell out of me. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Oh, no, I just thought you’d be mad at me.” Her voice is pitched with amazement.

“Why would I be mad?” My tone is light and curious.

“I told Master you had tricked me, but you never did. I was just stupid and… and I blamed you.” She drops her head and won’t meet my eyes.

“Hey Lolli, I understand. Don’t sweat it.” I let go with a dry laugh and try for a reassuring smile. I try to flip my wrist to wave away her concern, but it is secured pretty tightly and only my fingers move. “You did nothing wrong, and I could never be mad at you.”

“Really?” She is wide-eyed and disbelieving.

“Really.” I confirm with a warm smile. She sags with relief. “Did he hurt you?” I ask a little more sharply than I had intended. Her eyes flit to me then over her shoulder. She looks back to me but, again, won’t meet my eyes. She shakes her head. I draw in steadying breath. What I wouldn’t give for my bullwhip and a pair of pliers.

“You make him mad.” She mutters under her breath.

“He’s a prick. He deserves more than my bad language,” I bite out, my tone heavy with disdain. Her hand slips to her mouth to cover her smile. “Did he hurt you because he was mad at me?”

“No. I was punished for the phone, but he has forgiven me now.” She rushes to explain. “I just know when he is angry, and he always looks really angry when he comes away from here. You need to be careful, Sweetheart.” Her tone drops to gravely serious. “He won’t damage you now, but once the clients have finished with you…well…” Her eyes widen and gloss with tears. The blue in her irises glistens like sunlight reflecting on the deepest ocean. “You need to be careful. You wouldn’t like him when he is really angry,” she warns. I snort.

“I wouldn’t like him if he put on a red suit and pretended to be Father Christmas. Something that rotten has no redeeming features I could ever like.” I let out a sigh and wait until she is looking at me. “He is a bad man, Lolli, and when I get out of here—and Iwillget out of here—I am taking you with me.”

Her head snaps over her shoulder and her eyes fill with panic. She holds her fingers against my lips. “Please, please don’t talk like that,” she whispers. “I…it’s not so bad, Sweetheart. I’m his favourite,” she whispers but there is fear in her eyes.

“For how long, Lolli? What happens when he loses interest?” Her face pales and my chest aches. She knows exactly what happens when he loses interest.

“I won’t go back into foster care.” The tears in her eyes finally escape onto her cheeks, and I feel like a complete shit for making her so sad. I can’t even hug her.

“I won’t let that happen, I promise, Lolli.” She nods but her face is impassive, and I feel I have lost her to a darker time. I shudder that anyone has a darker time than this.

“I’m sorry.” She gives me the saddest smile.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Lolli.” I try to offer some comfort to ease her pained expression.

“I do.” She slides off the bed, carrying the bowl of water she used to clean me up. She disappears into the bathroom and returns empty handed, but not for long. She lifts a box from one of the high glossed black chest of drawers. She drops the box and lifts the contents. My legs try to shut but the restraints cut my ankles at the futile attempt. I recognise the wand, an extremely effective external vibrator, powered by the mains. It can be relentless. She lays it between my legs and sets about arranging straps and pillows to adjust the round head precisely on my clit. I start to tremble before she even flicks the switch. She looks devastated, so I try to smile, to hide my horror.

“How long?” I swallow thickly.

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