Page 33 of Good Girl

Heat poured through me from head to toe like a too-hot shower on an even hotter day.

“Ithink you are beautiful. So does Samuel, and Matt sure as hell does too.” Derek spoke sharply, but he hadn’t raised his voice at all. Samuel and Matt both murmured in agreement.

“I have taught a million classes and you caught my eye immediately. I first saw you in Club Tango before I saw you in class, so you can’t sit there and tell me how I feel just because your own perception warps that.” Derek straightened up slightly, but his hand remained firm and iron hot on my thigh.

“It certainly takes one hell of a woman to make Derek risk something like this when he’s just been released from one internal investigation,” Matt added. He lowered himself onto one of the stools and clasped his hands together on the counter as Samuel tossed his toast down onto his plate.

“I can’t speak for class, but when I saw you last night, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Or did you forget how eager I was to eat you out?” Samuel quirked a brow, and a light smile graced his lips.

They spoke as if it was the most natural thing in the world, but it didn’t sound real and it certainly didn’t feel like it.

“Bullshit,” I gasped. “Men like you don’t go after girls like me for anything other than a dare or–or a joke. Play with the fat girl and see what happens!”

“You sayfatlike it’s a bad thing,” Derek remarked. “I see a curvy woman with gorgeous large breasts, a killer ass, and thighs I want to bury myself between day after day.”

“You’re delusional,” I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper, and as the noise in my mind increased—years and years of self-deprecation fueled by the cruel and callous remarks of those around me—tears began to prickle behind my eyes.

“Charlotte, you don’t know me very well yet, but one thing I excel at is being in control of my decisions and actions, and I don’t appreciate being made to look like I am making a mistake.” Derek’s hand vanished from my thigh, and he stood abruptly. Before I could react, he fisted one hand into my hair, jerked me up, and shoved me face down onto the counter.

I yelped and slapped my hands down onto the marble, almost trying to fight his hold, but something inside me was against it. The moment he had taken control of me like that, the noisy turmoil in my mind began to fade.

“Derek...” came Samuel’s voice, but Derek tutted just once.

“Charlotte, I understand that you’re anxious. Last night was a lot, and you may be having trouble connecting that and what we feel with what youthinkwe should feel, but I am telling you right now that I wanted last night.”

The sting of tears continued to warm behind my eyes, and I parted my lips, ready to weakly tell him he was wrong and didn’t know it. Before I could, though, his hand suddenly slapped down on my bare ass and I squealed instead. Pain and heat flared over my ass cheek, and I struggled slightly against his hold.

“Samuel wanted last night.” Another spank and another sharp flare of warmth. “I think you are beautiful, and I want to hear you say it.”

“No,” I whimpered, “I can’t—” The panicked part of me that had wanted to flee this apartment and never come back, so scared that I was nothing more than a late-night joke, was abruptly silenced. Part of me was embarrassed, being forced down onto the counter like a naughty child and being spanked, but in a way I did not understand, it washelping. Each spank was peeling apart the layers of anxiety in my mind and leaving nothing but a needy silence.

“You can,” Derek instructed firmly, and another sharp, open-palmed spank swished across my ass. Fire licked at my skin, and I yelped, but Derek didn’t stop. Three more swift spanks landed on my ass and I jerked with each one.

“Please,” I gasped, and Derek’s grip tightened in my hair.

“Please what?” Derek asked. “Please, will you tell me that you believe me? That your perception of yourself warps your acceptance of other viewpoints and that we do indeed find you fucking stunning and it’s just difficult for you to accept?”

Another spank, and this time, the tears fell. I wasn’tsad, but the overwhelming truth in Derek’s words was hard to ignore.

“Will you admit that your panicked outburst is because you are anxious and uncertain, and you would rather pull away and paint the situation one way to make it easier for you to deal with because you can’t accept that I find you desirable?” Another two spanks, and my ass was on fire.

“Yes!” I yelled suddenly. “I’m sorry—I’m sorry!”

“Don’t apologize for how you feel,” Samuel said softly, his honeyed voice somewhere to my left. “But if you would tell us how you feel instead of fueling those feelings into accusations, then we can actually help you.”

“I...” Words failed me. Each smack of Derek’s hand had slowly quietened my mind, and now I was left with nothing but tears in my eyes, fire on my ass, and a painful sensation in my chest. Derek spoke such truth, but accepting those words was difficult. Throughout it all, I was reminded of Derek’s words the night before about the power of my safe word, and once again, it didn’t even cross my mind.

“Well?” Derek said and he ran his rough palm over my raw ass, drawing a hiss from between my teeth. “Say it for me, Charlotte.”

“You...” I swallowed hard. “You think I’m beautiful.”

“And?”

“And I struggle to... to accept that you think that, but it doesn’t make it untrue.” The second I finished those words, the tears came and I gasped softly against the counter. Derek’s hand left my hair, and suddenly, I was being swept up into his arms in a tight, compressed hug.

“Good girl,” Derek murmured, and he kissed the top of my head. I clutched at his body, clinging close to him as an overwhelming flush of emotion rushed through me. “And I am sorry.”

Those words brought me pause, and I lifted my head away from his shoulder. “For... what?”

---