Page 46 of Micah

I can see I’m going to need to ask Sam about this. Or maybe Garrett can ask his cousin Alistair. He might know, since he worked there too and is Sam’s friend. “And then what? What changed?”

“He joined our team, and I started working more closely with him. We… had words and cleared the air. Soon…” He pauses again. “Soon I knew I couldn’t breathe without him.”

The words are uncharacteristically sentimental, and they hit me in the feelings with the force of a punch. I know what he means. Not exactly—what’s between me and Cam is still growing. But I find myself constantly looking for him, checking on him. If I don’t know that he’s okay, it makes me anxious. He needs me, and I need him to need me.

“When…” It’s my turn to pause and clear my throat. “When did he feel the same?” I don’t have the luxury of seeing Cam every day for months to prove that we should take our relationship to the next level. When he goes home, can I even expect that he’ll want to see me again? And if he does, how will he feel about monogamy? Maybe he’ll want to see other people as well.

I’m not too worried about that, though. Seeing other people would mean leaving his house and his puzzles, and if he knows I’m ready to drop everything and be there for him at a moment’s notice, he’s not likely to want to be bothered going out.

Gideon sighs. “It’s hard to say. I didn’t want to show affection or talk about it, so I don’t know if he was waiting for me to wake up or if he genuinely didn’t feel anything yet. Then… something happened that I can’t talk about because it’s classified, and I moved him in with me after.”

I squint a little as I think about that. It sounds like he didn’t ask Sam to move in, which… yeah, that checks out. Gideon’s always been bossy, even as the youngest of us. I can see him moving Sam into his house without asking first.

“If you have feelings for Cam, you should talk to him.” He sounds uncomfortable just saying the words. “Maybe he has feelings too but is afraid to say something. You could both get old and die afraid and alone.”

“Have you been talking to Grandmother?” That’s one of her favorite arguments to nag us about settling down. Never mind that we’re not even two hundred yet and have nearly a millennium ahead of us.

“No. I’ve been avoiding her since the wedding. After everything that happened, I’m afraid she might insist that I move to Hortplatz to escape all the crazy people in my life.”

He does have a lot of crazy people in his life. Like Garrett’s cousin, and that vampire Grandmother hates. Sam can be interesting sometimes too.

“Talking to Cam sounds smart on the surface, but what if it turns out this is just a fling for him?”

“I don’t think talking to him will change that, if it’s the case,” Gideon points out. “If you’re worried, wait until right before he’s going to leave to bring it up. But I very, very strongly recommend that you talk to him about this as soon as possible. Now, even. Right now.” He mutters something else that sounds like “and end my misery,” but that can’t be right. I must have misheard him in my distracted state.

“I suppose. The other problem is how I’m going to tell Grandmother I’m moving.”

Gideon coughs. “What? Are you insane? She’ll kill you just so she can keep your corpse in the village.” He hesitates. “Only not in as weird a way as that sounds. Also, never tell Sam I said that. He’s convinced that Grandmother hates him and wants to kill him, and this doesn’t fit with me telling him she’s just tough on the surface.”

“Tough on the surface?” I echo incredulously. My grandmother loves me and has a good, kind heart, but she’s as tough as old boots all the way through.

“He doesn’t spend enough time with her to know it’s not true. Why are you moving?”

I shrug, even though he can’t see me. “Cam doesn’t live here. And I don’t think he likes it. Ever since we went to Nantes yesterday, he’s been acting funny. I think seeing the city and all the amenities brought home to him how different it is here. And the cold. He doesn’t like the cold much, either.”

Gideon makes a sound that’s half growl, half sigh. “Talk to him,” he says again. “Please, for the love of my sanity. Talk to him.”

“You’re such a diva. Why are you being so dramatic?”

“I’mbeing dramatic? Have you heard yourself? Wah, wah, the man who barely lets me out of bed and happily spends all day, every day with me might not like me. But I can’t ask because I’mscared.”

“I don’t sound like that,” I protest. I don’t. The words sound a little familiar, though.

“One day, I’m going to make you pay for putting me through this,” he threatens.

“You’re the one who called me and wanted to be social. Maybe I should send Sam a message and tell him you said you wanted to learn how to play…” I try to think of a sport that would drive Gideon bonkers. “…water polo.” He’s always hated swimming.

“Talk. To. Your. Lover. Fuck! That idiot Alistair has me saying stupid words now. I’m hanging up. Get off your ass and tell Cam how you feel.” The call ends while I’m still trying to understand what he’s talking about.

CHAPTERTWENTY

Cam

It’s a stunning day,the sky a deep, endless blue, sunlight reflecting dazzlingly off the snow. The pub has opened its outdoor seating area, heaters and lap blankets chasing away the chill for those of us sitting there. If someone had asked me last month if I’d eat outdoors on a day this cold, I’d have thought it was a trick question. But it’s actually a great experience, and the view of the mountains today is stupendous.

Too bad I’m so distracted, I can’t enjoy any of that. My mind is firmly stuck on the fact that even though IknowMicah’s cousin Gideon called him before, Alistair hasn’t sent me an update yet. That has to be bad news, right? If Micah had told Gideon that he was madly in love with me and designing our forever home, Alistair would have already called, right?

My phone beeps—loudly, since I turned the volume all the way up—and I jump as I fumble it out of my pocket. I had it on the table before, and Garrett asked if I was expecting a call.

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