Page 37 of Lacey's Fight

She frowned. “I don’t believe that. You’re putting some sort of spin on things. I’m so very sorry for your loss though.”

“Believe it or not it doesn’t change the truth.”

“Come and sit.” She patted the bed beside her. “Tell me what happened to your wife.”

Invisible magnets seemed to pull him across the room, and he stretched out beside her. “She was murdered.”

“Oh, Ben. How awful.” Tears shimmered in her eyes making the hints of green stand out. The hand she rested on his arm was tentative, but she didn’t move it even when he stiffened under her touch.

“Three years ago. We had just started talking about having kids. I wasn’t sure we were ready, but Jemima loved kids, and I couldn’t tell her no. She was ovulating so we’d been having a lot of sex. I got called away one night right after we were done. Literally. She knew the drill, so I got dressed, kissed her goodbye, and left. Once I got to base, I found out that the mission had been aborted, intel had changed, and we weren’t going after all, so I turned around and headed back home. I was only gone an hour and a half.”

Images flashed through his mind like a movie.

Blood.

Everywhere.

The floor, the walls, the ceiling.

Body parts were scattered throughout the bedroom.

“That was all it took. While I was gone some kid high on LSD caught a glimpse of her taking out the trash, thought she was an alien come to invade the earth. He broke in and butchered her. Cut her apart limb by limb while she was still alive.” Nausea choked him as he imagined the sheer terror and horrific pain Jemima had experienced in her final moments. “He decapitated her. By the time I got home he was gone. Left behind his DNA though, and cops picked him up a week later. He’s serving a life sentence but what good does that do me? It doesn’t bring Jemima back, and it doesn’t change the fact that I’m to blame for her death. I was her husband. It was my job to protect her, to keep her safe and happy. It was my job to take out the trash and I didn’t. I failed her. It’s my fault Jemima was murdered.”

CHAPTER NINE

August 6th

2:13 P.M.

Her heart was breaking for Ben and his loss.

How horrific to lose your wife in such a violent and unexpected way. Lacey didn’t even like thinking about it and had no idea how Ben had managed to go on after such a traumatic experience.

And to blame himself …

That was the most heartbreaking thing of all.

Even though she knew he might not like it, Lacey didn’t hesitate to shift so she could wrap her arms around Ben’s neck. His body was stiff beneath hers, but fine tremors rippled through him. He didn’t return her embrace.

“Oh, Ben. No. It is not your fault. What do I say to convince you?” she implored. She wanted to take away his pain and heal it for him, but she had no idea how to go about even starting.

“Nothing. I take full responsibility for my actions that night.” His voice was cold, hard, and unyielding. If there had been any pieces of her heart left joined together it would have broken them.

“What exactly did you do that was wrong?” she asked gently, leaning back to see his face but gently kneading her hands on his shoulders. Lacey didn’t have to ask to know that he was placing the blame squarely on his own shoulders because it was his way of handling his grief and trying to make sense of a senseless act.

“I left her alone, unprotected, and vulnerable.” The monotone scared her as did the empty look in his dark eyes.

“To go to work,” she reminded him. “You got called out on a mission. How many other times had you been called out before that?”

Ben shrugged one shoulder.

“How many?” she pressed. There had to be a way to make him see sense. “Tell me.”

“In the six months since I joined the SEALs, maybe half a dozen.”

“And nothing happened any of those times.”

“Doesn’t change what happened that time.”

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