Page 103 of My Queendom for a Horse

But now my time has come, and there’s no stay of execution waiting for me. Sean’s not there with a big smile and a check in his hand. Even though I’m here to sign the final papers, there’s still absolutely no evidence of who that buyer really is.

Fine. I also kind of hoped that maybe my brother Gustav would come through at the last minute. Or that my grandparents would have checked in and noticed that I was struggling. But, no. Nothing like that. The buyer stays anonymous, and my land and my stables are all gone, with the swirl of a pen.

None of it matters as much as I thought it would. Even selling most of my horses, and helping my dear friend Mirdza find another barn at which to teach, and cleaning up the old barn for the horses we’re keeping. None of it hurts as much as the ache that’s become omnipresent.

The ache from Aleks being gone.

After Sean left me so many years ago, I vowed that I’d never stand by and watch as someone I loved abandoned me. If I ever felt about someone the way I’d felt about Sean, I swore I would burn the world down to keep them by my side.

But the way I feel about Aleks, the way I mourn his absence, the way I pine for his memory, and the way I dream of the future I wish we’d had is like a torch compared to the candle I held for Sean.

And still, I let him go.

Why?

I didn’t confess my feelings. I didn’t beg him to take me. I was too stupid to agree to go with him when I still had a compelling reason. Maybe, given enough time, he’d have fallen for me.

Probably not, but who knows? “You see ugly girls with hot guys all the time, right?”

My dad frowns. “Are you talking to me?”

“No,” I say. “I was talking to Mirdza.”

“Oh. She’s here?” He spins around, examining every inch of the office we’re sitting in, waiting for copies of the final papers.

“Dad.” I roll my eyes. “I’m kidding. Yes, I was talking to you.”

“About ugly guys?” He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it again. “I don’t understand.”

“No.” I drop my head on my hands. “Not ugly guys,” I mumble. “Ugly girls.”

“What girls are you talking about?”

“Never mind,” I say.

That’s sort of my mantra over the next few weeks. I work through my backlog of teeth floats, lameness checks, vaccinations, Coggins tests, and wolf-teeth removals, working harder than I ever have as a vet. And when I’m not growing my formerly flailing veterinary practice, I’m working with John on Five Times Fast.

“He’s really come a long way since the time off with his abscess,” John says. “I think he has a real shot.”

Not that it really matters anymore. A million pounds would be amazing if we won, but even if I got it, I have no idea who I’d even petition about buying our land back. I focus on working and training every second I can, because when I’m not doing those things, I’m usually crying.

One dreary day in early March, Sean surprises me by just stopping by. I went from seeing him a few times a week before Christmas to just once a week since. It’s been hard enough to force my smiles and make small talk just the one time.

Today’s visit wasn’t on the calendar.

I pull About Face up short. “Hey. What are you doing here? Did I forget something?”

He shakes his head. “No, I just decided to drop by.”

“Oh.” About Face dances sideways, and I tighten my reins, reminding him to stand still. The young ones always have too much energy for their own good.

“This will only take a minute. Are you almost done?”

“Done?”

“On the horse?”

I pat the big sorrel’s neck. “This is Five’s brother, About Face. Remember?”

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