Sean blinks. “Oh. Okay.”
He’s never cared as much as I do about horses, but I thought he’d recall my star pony’s little brother. Especially since he saw me take reserve—second place—on the hurdle with About Face the day after my epic fail on Obsidian.
“To answer your question, I can cool him down now. Give me ten minutes.”
“I’ll wait by that big tree near the barn.”
We stopped calling it the ‘old barn,’ because now it’s our only barn. I wonder about the reason for his visit the entire time I’m cooling About Face down. When I hand him off to John, I’ve narrowed the possibilities down to two.
He’s either proposing, or he’s dumping me.
You don’t propose out of the blue like this. . .by saying “it’ll only take a minute.” Right?
So, maybe I’ve narrowed it down to one.
When I reach the big tree, I’m a little tense. “What’s going on?” That sounds a little more aggressive than I intended, but I can’t change that now.
Sean stands up and turns to face me, rubbing his gloved hands down the front of his slacks to smooth the wrinkles.
“Are you alright? Are your parents?”
He runs a hand over his face. “No, nothing like that. We’re all fine. I’m sorry for being so cryptic.”
“Okay.”
He points at the barn. “It’s super windy. Want to talk inside?”
I do not want to chat with him where Aleks pushed me against the wall and kissed me, but I can’t tell him that, so I just say, “Uh, sure.”
After we duck inside, I shove back all the memories that I usually pause to appreciate.
Sean looks edgy. Nervous. Even worse than me. “I need to get back for a meeting, but I just woke up today and had to see you.”
“What?”
He turns so that we’re staring right at one another. It’s super strange.
“I always need to see you.”
I swallow. “You’re standing in front of me.”
“No, what I mean is, every single day, I have this burning desire to see you. I. . .yearn. . .for you. Is that the right word? Maybe. Seeing you brings me joy. It makes me happy, and I know that might sound pathetic, but it’s true.”
A proposal? Is that actually happening?
“And I realized, as I looked at my calendar, that it feels like you don’t care whether you see me or not. You schedule me in, like you’d set up your hair appointment, or a visit to see the dentist.”
Oh. It’s a break up after all.
“I want to ask you something, Kris, and I need an honest answer.” He drops down on one knee. And he pulls a box from the inside pocket of his beautiful wool jacket.
He flips the box open. It’s a gorgeous, deep blue sapphire—huge of course—with very large, very sparkly diamonds set on either side.
“If you hate this ring, you can pick anything you want. A dozen rings. I don’t care.”
I have no idea what to say.
“My question is this. Do you long to see me? Ever? And if so, then will you just marry me already?” His eyes look full to the brim with sorrow, not hopeful and excited. He sighs, then, long and slow. “And Kris, if you don’t long to see me, then let me go.”