Page 20 of Scapegoat

“Yes, we do.” Could he hear the need and desperation in my voice? Did he feel an answering one in his own heart? I thought he did, but it was hard to tell. I smelled arousal and musky male scent and family and home when I was around them, but there was no scent for love, as far as I knew. “We do, because… I don’t know about you, but I can’t go to sleep in the spare room of your parents’ house, knowing what I know now. You’re mine.”

“Gods, yes, Kai,” Jayden muttered, pressing his lips to the back of my neck.

“And I’m yours.” Atlas’ fingers closed around my ankle as I said the words, holding on as if he would never let go. “And I’m not going home tonight until we’ve made that clear to each other.”

“You mean—” Xavier started to say.

“You think I haven’t wanted you? That each time I swim with you, or watch you play sport with your shirts off, or when I’m balancing on the handlebars of your bike, that I don’t want to touch you?” I pulled away from Jayden and Atlas then. “That I don’t long to put my hands on your perfect golden bodies?”

My fingers trembled as I undid his top button, Xavier’s hands stopping mine for just a second as he took over, then bared his chest to my eyes. And when I touched him, we both seemed to know what this meant, him hissing along with me.

Xavier was hot to touch, his wolf close to the surface and ready to spring free, but not now, not yet. I wound my hand upwards, across his collarbone and then around his neck, thumbing his pulse. When I felt his heart rate thundering fast under my touch, I frowned slightly, the golden idol of Xavier replaced with this: just a boy who wanted me as much as I wanted him, as he tugged me closer and then slammed his mouth down on mine. He was done being good, checking in with me, and now he was ready to be bad. He kissed like the devil, making the lip that Jay had nipped sting, right before he pulled away and turned me around.

“All of us?”

One last question and then the issue of consent would be resolved, the two other men standing there like they were facing a firing squad, not me.

“Of course, all of you,” I replied.

My dress was hanging on my shoulders, now that the back gaped after Jayden slid down the zipper, and the two of them stepped forward.

“Fuck, Kai…” Atlas kissed me hard, brutally so, his massive hands raking across my skull, grabbing handfuls of my hair, kissing me over and over until we were forced to pull apart to catch a breath.

“Got some of that sugar for me?” Jay was both cocky and unsure in the same moment and somehow that was perfect. We were all unreasonably brave and scared. I went into his arms willingly, feeling his lips brush mine as he took his time to kiss me. Soft lips parting, mobile tongue thrusting forth, little gasps, whistles of breath, then long, slow sucks of my bottom lip. And I did the same to him. It felt like with each pass we were getting deeper and deeper until we had to stop.

Because there was only so far we could go with kisses. Jay nodded, sliding one strap of the dress off my shoulder, then the other. I felt a pang of guilt that Jenny’s pretty dress landed in the grass beneath us, but before I could say anything, Jay picked me up and laid me down on the mattress to watch.

The three of them got naked with brutal efficiency, making me want them to slow down and go faster, all at the same time. I’d seen them half naked too many times to count, but that was nothing compared to this. Before this, they were still just boys, and I was just a girl. But once this night was over, we would all have stepped across this part of the threshold between childhood and becoming an adult.

“Kai…”

Atlas’ hands slid up my legs, moulding the calves to his hands before edging higher. My legs parted with little protest from me. I wanted to be bare for him. A kiss pressed to my knee, then my inner thigh, then my hip.

“Kai…”

Xavier settled down on one side of me, tilting my lips up to meet his, his hand settling around my throat. He kissed me slowly but surely, feeling my response as my pulse leapt under his grip.

“Kai, your tits…” Jayden settled down on the other side, all of his brother’s reverence in his voice and then something else. He was always blunt, so when he said the word tits, the others snorted.

“Fuck’s sake, Jay.”

“What?” He lifted his head reluctantly. “They’re fucking beautiful.”

He touched said breasts with just the tips of his fingers, as if he didn’t dare do anything more. But when I arched into his touch, feeling an alien need pulse through me, he grew bolder.

Mum had talked to me frankly about sex. We weren’t human and weren’t constrained by some of their prudishness, so I knew exactly how little wolf shifters were made. But my mother had been much more blunt about who I’d do it with.

“Be careful,” she’d said, not long after I’d had my first period. She’d sniffed scornfully, as if she could smell the traces of moon’s blood on me. “There’ll come a time, much, much later, where you’ll find yourself wanting to mate with male shifters. The animal decides.” Her lip curled then. “Makes the decision about who you’re to be with and, if you’re not smart, you’ll find yourself mated to someone you have no business spending your life with. Be careful, Kaia.”

She stared into my eyes as hers went silver, her gaze intent and staring. It was then I felt the first traces of my wolf inside me, shifting restlessly, trying to decide if my mother was responding with concern or aggression.

“The wolf is a predator and naturally comes with fine instincts, but not these…” She shook her head sharply. “You’ll think you know just who to give your heart to, but… You be smart, Kaia. Use this head.” She tapped on my skull. “Not the wolf’s. She only comes out some of the time, but most of the time…” For the first time my mother actually looked pensive. “Most of the time you’re left to cope with her decisions.”

But the wolf and I were in perfect agreement right now. I was exactly where I wanted to be. Atlas’ kisses moved higher, closer to where it ached and Xavier’s fingers seemed to follow Jayden’s lips, both of them clamping down on my nipples. I was aware from talk at school I was meant to be doing something, anything, but right now all I could do was stare up at the moon and gasp out my pleasure.

“Yes…” It felt like I was agreeing to so much more than just this. “Yes…”

“Fuck, I’ve been waiting for so long to hear you say that…” Xavier groaned and that’s when they all moved.

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