Page 89 of Cross My Heart

“That’s why I came here,” I say, feeling a tightness in my chest. We sit on a bench overlooking the water, as a group of ducks glide by. The scenery is so innocent and bright, it makes a sharp contrast to the dark story I’m telling. “My studies are just a cover, so I could get on the inside at Ashford College, and figure out who might have done this. Because I have to find out who attacked her, and drove her to take her own life,” I say fiercely. “They need to face justice for what they’ve done.”

There’s a long silence. Saint stares straight ahead, and I can see the flicker of tension in his jaw.

“Is this why you got close to me?” he asks finally, his voice cool. “So that I would introduce you to Max? Take you to the Lancaster party, so you could retrace Wren’s steps?”

“No!” I cry immediately. “I didn’t even know about them, not until after the Midnight party, when we'd already... When we were…” I trail off.

Having wild, mind-blowing sexual adventures, that made my head spin and my body hum. Surrendering to the blazing hot chemistry I couldn’t resist.

“When I thought there was something real between us,” Saint finishes, icy. He turns to me, betrayal in his eyes. “You used me.”

I shake my head. “You’re the one who pursued me,” I remind him. “You wouldn’t quit, you sent all those texts, and gifts, showed up. I thought…”

“You thought you’d kill two birds with one stone,” Saint says, getting to his feet. Hurt and anger mingle in his expression. “Have a little fun fucking the professor and pick up some clues about Wren at the same time.”

“No!” I leap to my feet and start after him. “I didn’t know what to think, OK? What happened between us took me by surprise. It wasn’t part of my plan. All I had were these cryptic clues, about Wren and the Blackthorn Society—”

Saint flinches at the mention.

I stop, registering his reaction. Which can only mean…

“You know it,” I breathe, moving closer. “Legacy is a gift, and our sworn bond.’ I quote, and I can tell he knows exactly what that means. “You’re a member, aren’t you? You’re one of them!”

He pauses, unreadable emotions flashing on his face. And my heart sinks.

I suspected he was a part of it, but I didn’t really consider what that meant.

“All this time I’ve been explaining and justifying my actions to you,” I say, backing away from him. “Maybe it should have been the other way around.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Saint says quickly, and I give a bitter laugh.

“All that talk about being an open book was bullshit. You’ve got secrets, too. Only yours might wind up getting me hurt—or worse. It wasn’t a random mugging,” I add. “That was your friends in the Blackthorn Society, sending me a message. A warning, to stop digging in their business.”

Saint looks shocked. “What the fuck, Tessa? You didn’t say.”

“And you wonder why?” I demand, furious. “I can’t be sure where your loyalties lie!”

“You’re saying I had something to do with that bastard hurting you? With what happened to Wren?” Saint asks, looking outraged.

“No,” I glare. “But one of your fancy friends sure did.”

“You don’t know that,” he protests, but I shake my head, feeling foolish. I thought coming clean to him would be a relief, a weight off my shoulders—but instead, it might have been my biggest mistake.

“You’re part of the Blackthorn Society,” I say accusingly. “Which means you’re honor bound to protect them—no matter what their crimes.”

“You don’t have any evidence they’re connected!” Saint retorts angrily. “Just some anonymous notes, and a vague motto. You’re going around accusing people off nothing but rumors and conspiracies!”

“Yeah, well it’s funny how those conspiracies have all turned out true so far,” I say grimly. “You need to think about whose side you’re on. Because if it turns out to be one of your friends who hurt my sister… I won’t hesitate. I’ll burn their entire fucking world to the ground. And I won’t stop to see who else gets caught in the flames.”

Saint face changes, turning cold again. “Well, thank you, Ms. Peterson,” he says, all formal tones. “You’ve made it quite clear what you think of me. You should be proud,” he adds bitterly. “Your investigation tactics have proven quite the success. Here I was, falling for you, and I never thought for a moment you were just fucking me for information about my friends.”

Guilt strikes through me, but he’s already walking away.

Fuck.

Saint leaves me standing on the riverbanks, lost in a whirlwind of conflicted emotion.

I should have seen this coming.

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