Page 88 of Cross My Heart

I put up my hand and force a cheerful wave. “Hey,” I greet him, walking over. “What a nice surprise.”

“Is it?” he asks, frowning. “I thought you said you were locked in the library all day. Who is that guy?”

“He’s, um…” I wrack my brains desperately for a cover story, but Saint fixes me with a piercing look.

“You’ve been keeping secrets from me, Tessa. Now tell me, what’s going on?”

Chapter23

Tessa

Istand there, frozen in place, my mind racing.

Saint folds his arms, glaring at me. “Well?” he prompts, and I hate it, but I have to lie to him. Again.

“Iwasstudying,” I say brightly. “That was Jamie. He’s in one of my lectures, and I’ve been falling behind, so he agreed to meet and lend me his notes—”

“Bullshit.” Saint cuts me off, with a scornful look. “Come on, Tessa, I’m not an idiot, so don’t treat me like one. What’s going on? I know there’s something you’re not telling me. I think I’ve known it since the day we first met,” he adds, studying me. “You hold back when we’re talking, like you’re deciding what you can say. You’re evasive, you’re keeping me at arm’s length—”

“I just moved in with you!” I protest, trying to steer the conversation away from dangerous territory, but Saint stands firm.

“Yes, and I still feel like you’re miles away, even when we’re in the same room.” He exhales a ragged breath. “Tessa, I’ve tried to be patient, and wait for you to open up at your own pace, but I’m sick of the lies and half-truths. I’ve been totally honest with you, about the good and the bad. I’m a goddamn open book. But I need to know, what is it that you’re hiding from me?”

I open my mouth, but no words come out. It’s ironic, this man makes me feel more bold and liberated than I’ve ever felt before, but when it comes to revealing this, I quake with insecurity.

Can I trust him?I wonder, searching his handsome face.

What will he think when he knows the real reason that brought us together?

“You can tell me anything.” Saint moves closer, cupping my face in his hands. His eyes search mine, open and sincere. “I promise, there’s nothing you can say that will shock me, or change the way I see you.”

I shake my head, pulling away. “You don’t understand.”

“So try me,” he challenges hotly. “Give me a chance to prove that this connection between us, it’s real. It matters to me.”

“It matters to me too,” I whisper, feeling torn up inside. Caught in a battle between my secrets, and the inexplicable instinct to confess it all. “And I want to be honest, I do, it’s just…”

“What?” Saint demands. “For Christ’s sake, Tessa. It can’t be anything as bad as all the suspicions I have spinning in my head now. Are you seeing that guy?” he adds, nodding in the direction that Jamie fled. “If you have, it’s OK. I mean, my pride will take quite a beating, but we never said this was exclusive--”

“No,” I tell him right away. “It’s not that. There’s nobody else.”

“Thenwhat?” Saint throws up his hands, frustrated. I can tell he’s on the brink of just walking away. Leaving me, and my fucked-up secrets behind him. Washing his hands of me for good.

I don’t want to lose him. And more than that, I don’t want to lie to him anymore.

“I came to Oxford for a reason,” I blurt, before I can over-think it. “Someone hurt my sister. I’m trying to find the man who attacked her. I’m going to make him pay!”

There’s silence for a moment, as Saint looks at me in confusion. Whatever he expected to hear, it clearly wasn’t this.

“That’s what I’ve been hiding from you,” I admit, my heart pounding. “The sneaking around, the lies… It’s all because of Wren.”

I wait, on edge, wondering if I just made a massive mistake. Saint’s expression is unreadable as he stands there, processing my words.

Have I just ruined everything?

Then he takes a deep breath. “Tell me everything,” he says. “Start at the beginning.”

We takea walk from the town center out to a leafy area by the river, where there aren’t so many people around. Saint listens patiently as I tell the whole story, from Wren’s time at Oxford, to her attack and tragic suicide.

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