Page 62 of Aidan

God, how naive I’ve been. Not once have I ever considered what it might mean for the boys—or Aisling even—to grow up in Aidan’s family’s organization. Yet one more thing he and I need to discuss.

“Why are you telling me this?” Another thought occurs to me and anger wells up. “Did Aidan put you up to this?”

Lucia shakes her head and reaches across to clutch my hand. “Not at all, I swear. I’m here on my own because I know you probably weren’t aware of the potential dangers that come with being married to someone like Aidan. And I can only guess at how scared you might be. How you might not want anything to do with the organization. How you might want to run from it. I understand exactly how you feel, because I felt it too. You weren’t born to this life. Nor were the children. I know how terrifying it can be thinking of what could happen, especially after yesterday.”

I sense there’s more to her visit. “I hear a but in there.”

She squeezes my hand gently. “Not really. I’m the last person to try and wax poetic about how just because things turned out great for me, they will for you, too. Because, while, yes, my life is great, there is always going to be that little voice in the back of my head that whispers about the dangers my sons face. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone with your fears.”

My eyes burn. “Thank you. That means so much.”

“You’re welcome. And if you ever need someone to talk to, give me a call, anytime.”

We sit out here a while longer while the children play. I’m so glad Aisling is having fun. I’m also really glad Lucia came by. She gave me a lot to mull over.

CHAPTER31

Aidan

Sitting outside,I breathe in the fresh air that still holds a hint of the rain that’s been hanging around for nearly every one of the past fourteen days. Everyone is still asleep as the sun crests the horizon. Sunrises are always my favorite time of day. I’m not one for omens, despite being Irish, but I can’t help but nurse a small thread of hope that maybe this is a sign of positive things to come.

It’s been two weeks since Sorcha and I got married.

And it’s been fourteen days of sleeping apart. Fourteen days of stilted conversations. We’ve kept the children out of school and brought in a home school teacher so they wouldn’t fall behind. They’ve also been talking to a pediatric therapist that specializes in trauma. It’s been a slow process, but the light is finally returning to Aisling’s eyes. The boys rebounded a lot faster. Despite the distance between Sorcha and I, Kellen, Carson, and I have grown closer.

Behind me, there’s the click of the dining room door opening. I glance over my shoulder and my pulse races as Sorcha, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a pair of slippers, steps out. Even sleepy-eyed with her hair a tangled mess around her shoulders, she’s still the most beautiful woman ever. She heads straight for me, her pace slow, until she takes a seat in the chair next to me. I can’t take my eyes off her. This is the first time we’ve been alone together since our wedding.

“I’m glad it finally stopped raining,” she says quietly, her gaze turned toward the expansive landscape.

“Me too.”

We sit in silence for several minutes. I have so many things to say, but where do I start? I’ll do anything to save my marriage, but I’m not the only one whose decision it is. Every day, I wake up waiting for her to tell me she and the kids are leaving. Fear has been my constant companion.

“I talked to Lucia a couple weeks ago,” Sorcha finally breaks the quiet.

“Nathan told me she’d stopped by.” I’d been surprised by the news considering the two had only met once before the wedding, although I’m glad if the women became friends. “Did you have a nice visit?”

“It was informative.”

I glance over at her.What does that mean? Finally, Sorcha shifts in the chair so she’s facing me. Her leg has healed well and her signs of concussion have diminished, although she still suffers from occasional headaches. The doctor said they may never go away or, if they do, it could take years.

“I love you, Aidan.”

Fuck. My heart plummets, because my brain hears a but behind it. “I love you, too. More than anything.”

Sorcha nods and smiles, although it’s a bit sad. “I know you do.”

“But?” I have to gently prod, because if she’s going to break my heart, she might as well get it over with.

“But I’ve also never been more scared in my entire life as I was during that attack. I’d been worried for the kids. For you. It was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. I don’t ever want to feel that way again. Ever,” she says with a ferocious intensity.

If only I could promise she won’t. I ache to reach out for her, but I’m not sure if she’ll welcome my touch and I can only afford to be gutted once today. “I wish I could turn back time and make that day disappear like it never even happened.”

“I don’t,” she says, shocking me. “Up until the insanity hit, it was the happiest day of my life. I got to marry my best friend.”

“Then I wish I could just make what happened after disappear.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” she chuckles. “It would certainly make people’s lives easier if we could just erase all the bad things that happen.”

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