Page 30 of Aidan

There’s a visceral thud in my chest. “Mixed signals?”

“I’m making such a huge deal about you not wanting to share a room since we’re getting married, but I also don’t want to ruin our friendship with messy emotions.”

“Messy emotions?” I can barely get the words out. “You just said this marriage is real to you. Which means I need to start thinking of it as real, too, and the last I checked real meant kissing and being intimate. Real means I assume you hadn’t planned on living a celibate life, and I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t cheat on me.”

Aidan’s cheeks turn a deep red and he won’t meet my eyes. I swallow down my uncertainty.

“You wouldn’t”—I have to take a breath before I can even continue—“you wouldn’t cheat on me. Would you?”

“No,” he says a little too quickly. “I just…I guess I didn’t think that far ahead either. Thought maybe we could get married without worrying about more than that.”

I’m so busy processing his words that it takes a second before I respond. “By ‘more than that’ I’m going to assume you mean that I won’t do something so completely and utterly stupid as fall in love with you? We get married and have sex, but don’t let those messy emotions get in the way. So it’s real to you as long as I don’t catch feelings. Got it.”

This time, it’s me who walks away. Only Aidan doesn’t follow. Which is a good thing, because I’ll say something I’ll regret. I should go check on Aisling, but I need to be by myself for a little bit. Alone time has been virtually non-existent for me since Da died. Even before then I spent most of every day of the last five years helping him with both the pub and the kids. He’d been so lost after Mum was gone. When was the last time I did something that was solely for me?

I make my way through the house and out the front door. Maybe some fresh air will do me good. I explore the estate, starting with the back. I take a seat at the round table and stare out over the landscape. Aidan had been right about the view. I bet the sunsetisspectacular. There’s an adorable cottage more than halfway down the slope along a level section. Maybe I could stay there?

A door opens behind me. I brace myself and turn in my seat. Except it’s not Aidan. Instead, Carrick steps out. “Mind if I join you?”

What, am I going to tell him no? “Please do.”

He closes the distance and sits perpendicular to me, but turns toward to the sprawling lawn to stare out at it as well. “Everyone settled?”

“They’re getting there. Thank you for giving the boys their own room. You didn’t need to do that.”

“What’s the sense of having this large of a house if everyone doesn’t get to have their own space?”

I suppose that’s true.

Carrick finally faces me. “My son’s lucky to have you.”

Excuse me?

“He’s different around you. More focused. Centered.”

“What do you mean?” I lean forward and rest my forearms on the table. He has me curious.

“Cian is the oldest. He’s the one who will take over our organization when I’m gone. It’s what he was born to do. He knows what his place is and he’s preparing for it. Finn has always had a knack for business and numbers. It’s why I put him in charge of the casino. He’s the only person I trust with my money. With our family’s money.” He pauses briefly. “Then there’s Aidan. Despite his creative talent, he somehow manages to coast along, rudderless, without any specific direction. He’s brilliant, but he doesn’t have the patience for things like managing the books or looking after any of our other businesses or being in charge of it all. There’s always been this restless energy surrounding him. Like there’s something he’s missing out on in life, but can’t find it.”

It’s fascinating how Carrick sees his son, because that’s nothing like what he’s shown me.

“I can tell I’ve surprised you,” he notes.

“Yes, because I’ve never seen Aidan anything but calm and focused.”

He stands. “I find that interesting.”

Before I can respond, he walks toward the house, but he pauses at the door. “It doesn’t matter what proof Campbell asked for regarding your engagement. Aidan would have figured out another way to pay off the debt and protect you and your family’s pub that didn’t force you into marrying him.”

He goes inside.

What does he mean by that? Is he saying that I can call off the engagement? Or is he saying there’s another reason Aidan is going through with the wedding?

CHAPTER15

Aidan

Thankgod this day is almost over. Of course, there’s still the question of Sorcha and the shit show from earlier. I’m forcing the confrontation by not moving to another room and waiting in here for her to show up. She ignored me during dinner and instead focused all her attention on the kids and how they liked their rooms and how they spent their day. Of course, they were all more than happy to dominate the conversation. Kellen and Carson disappeared upstairs right afterward and Sorcha has been in Aisling’s room getting her settled.

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