"It's incredible, I hope you get it."
"I hope we get it." His gaze turned serious, and he took her hand again. "I'm not sure if you felt it in there or if it was just me, but I think that house could mean something special to us."
Poppy froze. She was not ready to have this conversation, she was too conflicted. She never wanted to be someone who changed her hopes and dreams for a man, but this felt like something big. This felt like it could be the starting of a new dream, but she just didn't know if she was ready to give up her old dream.
"Is everything alright?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's a great house, Josh." She took her hand out of his and turned and looked out the window.
"Poppy?" he asked tentatively. The apprehension in his voice knotted her stomach and she knew if she looked at his face right now his brow would be drawn, and his eyes would be concerned, and he would look like a hurt little puppy dog. She would be overcome with the urgent need to make things okay, so she just looked out the window, like a coward. Maybe she was just being selfish, maybe she was as self-obsessed as people believed her to be.
She pushed those thoughts away, she wanted to enjoy the rest of her day with Josh. She took a deep breath and turned to look at him with a smile. She was right, the look on his face gutted her. His excitement had faded, and he looked worried. She reached up and cupped his face with her hands.
"Really, I'm fine. I just have a headache all of the sudden, I think it must be from the dust. I'll be okay. Where to next?"
The tension fell from his shoulders and a gentle smile found his face, he bent his head down and gave her a kiss. "My errands are all done, Poppy. How about you pick what we do next?"
"Would it be ok if we just went back to your place and watched a movie? I think I could use some cuddle time on the couch."
"I was hoping you would say something like that, I'm ready to have you all to myself again."
He bent his head for one last kiss, this one filled with a little more passion than the last. Poppy may have some figuring out to do, but man, this guy did things to her with a simple kiss.
For the rest of the evening, they cuddled on the couch watching Bake-Off with lots of making out, but Poppy could not get out of her own head. She was conflicted.
There was a knock at the door.
"Pizza!" Josh jumped up off the couch and got the pizza. He set it down on the coffee table in front of them and went to get them plates. He handed Poppy a plate and they started eating. They continued watching the show and Poppy tried to get back the feeling she had with Josh before this all got so serious. She had been serious about him, but when it all became so real, she kind of shut down. She wanted the comfort of Josh back. She wanted him to take her back to his room and give her the best orgasm of her life again and again. But she needed to figure out her own head.
After they finished eating and the episode they were watching, Josh paused the show and turned to look at her.
"I can tell something is bothering you. If you aren’t ready to talk about it yet I'm not going to push. I just want you to know I’m here. I’m here as a distraction or a listening ear. Whatever you need, Poppy, I mean that."
She cupped his face and kissed him, a sweet gentle uncomplicated kiss. "You’re so sweet, I don't deserve you."
"Don't say that, Poppy. You deserve the world."
Her eyes fell to the worn blanket covering both of their laps. She ran her fingers through the yarn fringe. What was her problem?
Her phone buzzed on the coffee table next to her.
Hannah -Going into the city on Friday to finish packing up my apartment. Wanna go with me?
She had to work Friday, but she would be going to the city with Hannah. Sam could just deal with it.
Poppy- OMG, yes! That sounds amazing.
Hannah- Ok, I’ll pick you up around 8. We are going to drive in and spend the night and Graham and your brother are going to be there the next day with a truck.
Poppy- Does Sam know I'm abandoning ship for 2 days?
Hannah- Nope. I left that part for you.
Poppy- Well he can just deal. I need some bestie time and some time away.
Hannah- uh oh, trouble in paradise?
Poppy- No, just confusion.