Page 43 of Knot Their Reality

A smile tugs at my lips. "He's nothing like I thought he would be—which I guess is the problem with meeting celebrities. While we might think we know them, we only know their public persona. He always seemed so aloof in interviews and at events. I never would've thought that was an act, but I'm sure of it now. He's almost as laid back as Brody. He seemed a little put off by the fact that I was a fan of his work at first, but that's when I realized that he's just another person like me.

“Which, I know, is what you’re trying to get me to see, but it didn’t seem to help me be any less anxious. But it did seem to make a huge difference with Quinn. If I hadn’t made the decision to start our conversation over, I don’t think he would’ve taken down that wall and allowed me in. It’s like I intellectually understand that they’re just people like me; there’s a part of me that can’t stop freaking out over their celebrity status.”

"I'm glad that you're aware of this. It should make it easier for us to come up with ways to work around it." Finn nods. "But why don't you tell me about Paxton?"

"Hmmmm." I tap my chin, thinking over this one. "Paxton is a little harder to read. He seems very carefree, but he also seems to be lacking... direction? He did say he joined the show because he realized he'd let himself get lost in the world of being a rockstar.

“He feels like he's been left behind since the rest of his band has packed up. I worry a little that he isn't really ready for this, but that's why we have eight weeks—or seven weeks once all the suitors have arrived—to get to know one another, to see if this is what we really want."

A smile lights up Finn's face. "I don't think you're going to need me nearly as much as you think you might. It sounds to me like you get lost in that head of yours and that's what's causing your anxiety, but—" he holds up his hand when I go to interrupt him, "that's only based upon what? Ten minutes of speaking with you. We will definitely continue to have sessions so that I can check in on you, and so you know you have a safe space. Now, tell me about Malik."

It's so easy to talk to Finn, at least once I get over the fact that he was also on Heated's season one. I tell him about Malik and how he's been a little bit harder to get to know. Finn asks some open-ended questions, and I open up to him more than I have to any therapist before. I actually kind of love how easy it is to talk to him.

I even find myself opening up to him about what happened to me in college. I've told the story twice now over the course of just a few days, but I can already feel the weight of the past beginning to lift off my shoulders. It's freeing to tell others what happened to me and how it made me feel. I realize for the first time that maybe holding all the pain might have been the wrong move.

When I leave here, I want to share my story more. I know I'm not the only omega who this has happened to. While Bree’s story that was shared during the first season isn’t exactly like mine, she did go through something similar. If we both have, then it has to have happened to others, right? We may not hear about it, but I know I can't be the only one.

Our society likes to act like everyone thinks of omegas as treasured possessions, but I know that's a lie. I've worked on some cases where alphas and/or betas have done terrible things to omegas and/or betas. Nothing quite like what happened to me, but what if the omega was like me and just wanted it to be done with?

"I think sharing my story publically could make more omegas feel like they can come forward. I felt ashamed and like I couldn't talk about it, but what if there are others who felt the same way? What if there's someone out there right now who could be helped by my story?" I shake my head. "I wish I could've realized this sooner, but now that I know, I'm going to speak out."

"If that's what you want to do, then you should do it. Every person's trauma is different, and who knows, if you'd tried to speak out years ago, you might not have been able to. But now you're strong enough to handle it, and that's huge. Especially wanting to help out others who could have gone through something similar." Finn leans back in his chair, one leg bent at the knee and his ankle resting on his opposite leg. "And how are you feeling now?"

Instead of answering immediately with fine like I usually would, I take a moment to see how I am feeling. A smile lights up my face when I realize the answer. "Better. So much better. I definitely want to keep seeing you. Even if it's just to let me get out what I'm feeling and thinking so I can make sense of it all."

"I'm here for anything you need. We're set to meet on Sunday. You have a group date, and then you're meeting the last four suitors tomorrow. Saturday will be the last group date and the rose ceremony. If you feel like you need to talk again before Sunday, just reach out to me." He reaches into his pocket and grabs a card before handing it to me. "This is specifically for when I'm on the show and includes the extension to call.

"Call anytime—and I do mean anytime—that you need to talk. If you need me to talk you off a ledge, I'm happy to do so. If you need to vent, I'll listen. If you need to meet in person, I'm happy to do so. The only time I won't answer is if I'm in a session with one of the suitors, but you're my number one priority. It doesn't matter the hour. My pack is here with me, but they know that I'm on call twenty-four-seven. You might not need me for days or weeks, but when you do, I'll be there."

I take the card from him, slipping it into my leggings. "Thank you, Finn. I appreciate this more than you could ever know."

He laughs. "Well, it's my job, but I also know some of what Bree went through. Anything I can do to help make things easier for you, I want to do. Your mental health is so important and being on this kind of show can throw you for a loop. Call me anytime, day or night, and we'll take care of whatever it is you're dealing with."

"Thanks again." I stand and head for the door with him at my back. Once I step into the hallway, I give him an awkward wave before hurrying up the stairs.

Okay, so that had been a slightly awkward ending, but I still feel better—more centered. I think they had the right idea by bringing Finn on. I don't have any plans to call him in the middle of the night, but I'm grateful to know he's here when I need him. I think it'll make this whole process so much easier.

Chapter Fourteen

Sophia

I wake up the next morning feeling so much better about everything. That talk with Finn had made a world of difference, and I'd been able to fall asleep the moment my head hit the pillow. I'd woken up more refreshed than I have in a long time. Maybe I should've been seeing a psychiatrist sooner. I've done the whole therapy thing on and off again over the years, but it's never felt like this.

Breakfast with day four suitors is interesting. Dylan and Foster seem to have made fast friends. Ulf and even Gage were a little abrasive with the things they said, but I could tell that they weren’t trying to be mean. I’m still not sure how I feel about that or them, but it’s nice to have people say what they really think. But I also think that could cause issues in a larger group situation. I’ll just have to wait and see.

A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts, and I hurry over to answer it. Dylan stands at the door with a sunflower in his hand—though, where the hell he got it, I have no idea.

"Good day, milady," he says, bowing at his waist as he offers the flower to me. I can't help but giggle as I take it from him. What is it about this show that has me giggling so much? I've never been much of a giggler until I started the show. "We've come to woo you for the day. Or at least part of the day."

I grin as he straightens, a smile on his face. "Sounds like... fun?"

Behind him, Foster laughs as he claps a hand down on Dylan's shoulder. "Come on, big guy. Let her out of the room so the rest of us can see her, yeah?"

"Oh, right." Dylan steps back, smile falling slightly. With his dark skin tone, it's hard to tell, but I think he's blushing.

"Yes, Whitlock," Ulf calls. "Don't hog the omega with your charm. The rest of us won't stand a chance if you keep that up."

Reaching out, I grab Dylan's hand in mine and squeeze. "Thank you for the flower and the greeting. I appreciate it."

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