Page 102 of A Kingdom of Shadows

"You're all I've ever wished for."

Hearing how he says it stabs my gut. I can't find any word, idiom, or phrase to express myself.

"That night," Darius whispers through the silence. "That night in the hut, you asked me why I always left gold coins after every theft in the city."

That's something I can't answer you right now, Goldie, he had said.

Many say he does it to irk sellers so that they can use that gold coin to replenish stock and then for him to just steal it all again, Freya had told me back in Emberwell—back when I'd first arrived at the city.

"I didn't tell you then because the answer always led to you. My regret has always been how I made you forget me. I'd always hoped to see you again, to find you. Leaving those coins behind was my way of searching, and then one day, you walked into a store I happened to be robbing."

That night, that fateful night, is when everything changed.

"A girl with the same golden hair, same blue eyes. I thought it had to be you, but there you were, dressed as a venator, intent on capturing me."

Shame reddens my cheeks. I'd harbored such hatred towards dragons and him that I regret it all.

"I went home after that, thinking about you, wondering if it was just a cruel joke. That my mind was messing with me. The girl I'd met all those years ago couldn't be a venator. But when I realized it was truly you the night after the attack... I broke."

I glance at Tibith, and he nods to confirm it's true.

He did know.

"And even when you hated me, I did everything to keep seeing you. Including my appearance at the ball no matter the dangers and risks I was putting myself in because all I knew was that—" A pause followed by a deep exhale. "I was irreversibly in love with you. I am irreversibly in love with you, Nara."

More tears spill.

My heart squeezes against my ribcage, and my hands are suddenly on the keylock. I'm ready to open the door, jump in his arms, and tell him I'm afraid. That I'm afraid of so much. Too much.

Tibith slides off my shoulder, beaming as I twist the key.

Except... a chilling scream coming from outside stops me.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

My body locks up, and I turn to Tibith, who is whimpering. I tell him to wait here and open the door to find Darius's same panicked expression as mine. We're looking at each other for maybe two or more seconds, my heart leaping out of my chest before we forget the moments he'd told his secrets to me, his profession of love, and bolt down the castle's corridors. We rush outside, where guards and servants are heading toward the maze. When we arrive at the center, and I peer over one of the sentry's heads, my stomach constricts, bile scratches my throat, and I stumble backward into Darius's arms.

Golrai's Lifeless body lies on the ground in an unnatural position. A tray is scattered to one side, and half of a broken teacup is covered in blood. From the jagged line along her neck, I assume someone had slit her throat, and half her head is caved in, making her look unrecognizable.

How... Who could have—

"Out of the way!" Meriel shoves gasping servants to the sides, her curls falling out of her plait as she steps into the view of what is in front of us. She presses a hand to her chest and turns to Aeron without caring that she is in a simple nightgown. "Who was patrolling the gardens when this happened?"

"Alwin and his men, your highness."

Meriel goes to ask more when Aeron clears his throat and answers before her. "I already had them questioned. They did not see any suspicious sightings of Shadow Calps nor break-ins."

Meriel shakes her head with an exasperated breath and mutters, "Incompetent—"

I disregard Meriel's complaints, focusing on Golrai's dead body. Not long before Darius came to my door, I'd requested Golrai bring me herbal tea. She was taking longer than expected, but I did not care by then. I'd been too focused on what went on in that well.

Blowing a breath, I count to three, then slowly pull myself away from Darius just enough to near the other shard of the teacup.

I kneel, pick it up, and stare at it.

If this was no break-in, no attempt from the outside, then someone from the castle did it for whatever unknown reason. I glance at everyone around me as Aeron orders people to head inside. I rise and meet Darius's gaze. We both step toward each other—to comfort, know that one another is safe, and forget. But Meriel grabs his arm and causes us both to halt.

"We may need you," she says low, raising her brows to say they need his dragon side, his... powers.

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