Page 101 of A Kingdom of Shadows

"Mother—" Arlayna tries to protest, but Meriel silences her with a hand.

I realize Arlayna not only wants to join us to help, but she also wants an escape. Her life as royalty traps her. Though she has mentioned it, I can also see it when there's a drop in her expression, a crease in her brows at the mention of meetings, or traveling into the city with guards at her every side.

"Very well." The king claps his hands, rising from the throne. "It is settled. You will ready yourselves to retrieve the last stone in a few days."

* * *

I do not know what time it is. I imagine it is far too late for me to be up. But here I am, sitting on the edge of my bed, still dressed for the task. On my dresser, I'm watching a candle burn and waver, melting the wax away.

I feel as if I am the wax right now. I feel like someone has lit a match, and I'm drifting... disappearing beneath the heat.

"Miss Nara?" Tibith's groggy voice comes from behind. I turn to see him crawl over to me. He rubs his eyes and stares up at my face. "Why do you look so sad?"

I smile, look away then glance at the coin Darius gifted me. "I'm not sad." I'm torn. I'm torn because I no longer know myself, I'm torn because I miss my brothers and my friends, and I'm torn because Darius kept something from me.

But... What hurts me more is knowing so many things in my life have been kept a secret from me. That I am so easy to trick.

It happened with Ivarron.

It happened with Lorcan.

It happened with Sarilyn.

It happened with... Darius.

What next?

"Did you argue with Darry again?" Tibith asks, and I chuckle quietly.

"No," I say, still laughing. "We just—"

A knock.

It comes from the door, and I rise so fast, hearing Darius say my name.

The door is locked as I make my way over. He could use any of his powers to get in, his strength even, but he chooses not to do any of that. He just carries on saying my name again and again and again.

I stare at the doorknob, frozen in place.

"Don't shut me out." His voice is rugged and desperate. "Don't push me away. Just please, listen to me. I know you're awake. I know you can't sleep. And I know that because you tell me you only ever sleep well with me by your side."

I'm so silent, trying to channel my heart into beating steadily.

"I think you should answer the door, Miss Nara," Tibith whispers, now by my side, looking so despondent for the both of us.

I wonder if he knew everything.

"You're all I've ever thought about since I met you in that old town." Darius's words wreak havoc in my chest. "I was never allowed out. Rayth made sure I wouldn't step foot anywhere unless it was to wash myself outside in the rain. But that day, I'd rebelled. I did it occasionally as a way to practice my magic except that day was different. I don't know why or how, but I felt like I needed to find something—someone."

It's hard to swallow.

"I was losing myself, Nara. And then you appeared." He laughs a little, and I can picture him shaking his head at himself. "A dream in a waking nightmare. You didn't know what I was. How frightened I would feel if you found out I was a dragon. But then you smiled, and for the first time, I knew what it was that I needed to find. It was you."

I cover my mouth with my palm and blink, the tears trickling down my cheeks.

"You want to know what I said to Lorcan later that day?" He sounds so breathless, and I nod. I nod desperately as if he can see me. "I told him how I'd met the prettiest girl to ever exist, that you gave me that coin you have around your neck right now, and that... Even if I had to wish for it, I'd see you again."

I'm sobbing now, my shoulders shaking as Tibith climbs my leg and rests his head on my shoulder.

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