Page 54 of Hawke

I pulled her up onto her feet. I needed to send her away, but God, I wanted to lose myself in her heaven for the last time before I was confined to my normal life of hell. Her eyes brimmed with tears, but she was resolute in her decision to offer herself to me. The longer I stared into those cerulean depths, the deeper I fell. Another few moments in her presence and I’d be lost for good.

Against what I knew was much better judgment, I lifted Charlotte easily into my arms, pinning her to the wall again. My cock swelled even more until just the sensation of being pressed to her body was painful. This time, there were no words and no hesitation. Wrapping her legs around my waist, I thrust hard into her sweet heat, growling as her inner walls enveloped me. She fit me like a glove.

“If there was ever a heaven on Earth, little sub, being buried balls deep inside you would fucking be it.”

I grabbed her hands when she tried to touch me, pinning them back above her head. She wanted to be used which I could certainly do. The fact it’d be the very last time didn’t matter right now, and I pushed the thought out of my head completely. Nothing mattered in this moment other than fucking Charlotte.

With her now restrained, I began to move. At first, I started off slow while I experimented with different angles. When I found the one I liked best, I started to drive into her with long, forceful strokes.

“Make it hurt so good,” she pleaded, drawing a small smirk from me. I leaned in and captured one of her hardened nipples between my teeth. I wasn’t gentle with her. Neither of us needed that right now. Our bodies slapped against the wall as I bit at her breasts, shoulders, and neck. “Yesss!”

Charlotte’s pussy grew tighter, her walls convulsing around my shuddering cock. I felt an exchange of energy, almost like a bolt of electricity. She moaned then, as if she felt it, too. I continued to fuck her, ignoring the stirring of my own orgasm. I would get there, but not before she had hers.

I dropped one of my hands, reaching between our bodies, while able to keep hers still pinned above her head with the other one. I started to rub circles around her clit, pressing inward until she gasped and her hips bucked. Each jerk of her body sent us both hurtling faster toward the edge.

“Fuck!” I cursed, feeling the rush of heat up my shaft. “Come for me, little sub.”

“Hawke,” she cried as our orgasms exploded, simultaneously pulling us both under. Charlotte’s entire body shook from the tremors while I simply leaned against her until the throbbing in my cock subsided.

For the first time in my life, I had truly felt every intense second of my climax. I wasn’t simply going through the motions where my body searched for that moment of completion and relief. I had felt immense pleasure for the first, and most likely last, time.

Normally, I couldn’t pull out of a woman fast enough, but as I kept her pressed into the wall, I allowed my cock to linger inside, focusing on the changing sensations as her pussy relaxed and my dick softened.

When she started to slide down the wall, I released her hands, cradling her ass in my grip. Our bodies were sticky with sweat and other fluids. Regretfully, I pulled out, carrying her into the bathroom. I disposed of my condom, starting a shower before whisking her inside.

Charlotte was drowsy and compliant at this point, which worked to my advantage. I didn’t want to talk about what had just happened between us. I was honestly still trying to reconcile it in my head. I’d gotten a taste of what sex could truly be between two people, and it sucked knowing I’d never feel it again. Quickly washing both myself and her, I then carried her back to my bed to tuck her in.

She was out before her head even hit the pillow, so I threw on some sweatpants and started to clean up the room. It didn’t take me long because the suite was fairly small, so when I was finished, I brought a chair close to the bed.

As I sat down, I couldn’t help but be struck at how beautiful she really was. It was more than skin-deep. Charlotte didn’t harbor the shame and evilness inside her that I did. At times, I wished I could shed my skin and remove all those memories, but they went so far back, I’d peel away layer after layer and never completely rid myself of them all.

Charlotte Maxwell was kindness, beauty, and light all wrapped into one submissive package. If my nightmares had been dreams, she was much more than I could’ve ever fantasized about. There was a certain innocence to her that life hadn’t ruined yet. I knew the longer I stayed with her though, the sooner I’d snuff out the spark she possessed.

My demons would slowly overtake her, leaving her broken and miserable afterward. She’d just proven she could vanquish my sexual demons, but could she do the same for the others? I didn’t want to hurt her enough to find out. She was everything I never wanted, and I knew I couldn’t have her.

I reached out to stroke her cheek before brushing the hair out of her face. My hand lingered there as she slept. “If I had the capacity to love, little sub, I’d give it all to you.”

The admission came out of nowhere, surprising even me, and at the realization that I had spoken it out loud, I pulled my hand away before standing up quickly. I walked over to the floor-to-ceiling windows and gazed out at the view of the city. How many nights had I done this very thing from this very spot? Even back in Washington, D.C., I’d spend countless hours staring out at a world I didn’t belong in, imagining the type of life I could’ve had if things had been different for me.

“I love you.”

At the sound of her voice, I spun around. “What?”

Charlotte was already out of the bed, the sheet wrapped around her body. She smiled at me, then ran a hand through her sleep-tousled hair. She slowly walked to me, reaching out to put her hand on my shoulder before pulling it back at the last minute.

“I said that I love you,” she repeated.

I thought perhaps I had imagined her confession until I saw her eyes. Had she heard what I’d said aloud? I wasn’t entirely sure, but what I was sure of was that I would now need to hurt her differently than before. I’d already been struggling with how to let her go, but now I wouldn’t have to. She would be the one to walk away from me, and if she was smart, she’d never look back.

“No, you don’t. You just think you do,” I said gruffly, turning away from the window. I walked over to the small mini fridge and grabbed a beer out from inside.

“Don’t tell me what I feel,” she responded.

I detected a small amount of hurt in her voice, but it wasn’t enough for my liking. She was as stubborn as she was beautiful, so she’d darken my doorstep night after night trying to prove me wrong if I didn’t do this right.

I shrugged nonchalantly. “If you do, then you’re a damned fool.”

From her facial expression, I saw that my words stung just a bit. She chewed nervously on her bottom lip for a few seconds, either to hold back her retort or to choose her next words more carefully.

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