Page 34 of Hawke

Seconds after he did, my first wrist was freed. It didn’t take long for the second, and while I rubbed at them hoping to restore circulation, Hawke dropped the keys onto a nearby table, then walked back toward the door.

Springing into action, I raced across the room, just getting to him before he could open it. I quickly inserted myself between him and the door. He cursed, and I nearly reveled in the sound, knowing I was getting to him.

“You said you’d leave once I uncuffed you.” His voice was stoic, and the disapproval on his face was evident in the tone.

“I never said when, just that I would,” I replied coyly.

Oh God. I sound like Emery when she’s flirting.

It would’ve been enough to make me giggle, but the situation didn’t call for that. Hawke stood there as if he was trying to determine how best to get rid of me while I wracked my head for some way to convince him to stay.

“You must lie in bed thinking about me at night,” I finally said.

“What?” he responded, obviously confused. At any other time, the expression on his face might have even been comical.

I draped one hand over his shoulder as I looked into his eyes. With my other hand, I slowly dragged it down his chest. “Do you lie there thinking about all the different ways you can hurt me? Thinking about all the ways you can say goodbye? The different ways to toss me aside?”

His eyes closed for the briefest of moments to hide whatever he was thinking. When they reopened, there was something softer inside them, although there was still a turbulent force controlling them.

“It’s not like that at all.”

Feeling as if I was actually getting somewhere, I moved closer, crushing my breasts against his chest. “Then why do you keep doing it?”

I felt his sigh more than I heard it. “All I do now is hurt you, and I’m not even trying. Just imagine what I’ll do to you when I am.”

I had read a lot about BDSM, and the different types of Dominants. In Washington, D.C., all the subs I had talked to had described Hawke as a Sadist. While I hadn’t really understood what that meant at the time, since he’d reappeared in my life, I had done my due diligence. It was why when he talked about actually intending to hurt me, I knew he meant it.

I shivered, but remained steadfast in my determination to make him see there was something between us. “I want you to hurt me,” I said, quickly adding, “like that.”

He chuckled, the sound even more ominous. If he thought he could scare me, he had better rethink that. My mind drifted back to the items he had used on me before. The welts he’d left behind had been vicious, but I had taken them just fine. My eyes darted to the sides of him and I couldn’t help but swallow hard at the sight of a few of those things. Some I knew their purpose, but others...

“You’re foolish, so you have no idea what you’re asking,” he stated before removing my hand from his body.

He took a few steps back and walked across his dungeon. I watched him stop in front of a wall containing a number of different size whips and canes.

I gulped, but was already mentally prepared for whatever he dished out. “I’m ready to please you. I know I can—”

“You think you are, but you’re not. I’m sure there are other Dominants at Syn you can—”

This time I cut him off. “I don’t want them. I want you!”

Why can’t you see that?

“Don’t you understand I’ll break you? Physically… mentally… I will use, abuse, and then dismiss you as if you’re nothing.” His voice was now raised, and his eyes darkened even more.

I could tell in that moment that he truly believed what he was telling me. Hawke thought I was too soft for what he desired. While I didn’t have enough experience in the lifestyle to truly know what to say to convince him otherwise, I could lie to him and tell him that I had experienced it all. The only reason I decided against it was because I didn’t want this night to be built on a foundation of dishonesty.

“I’m a lot stronger than you’re giving me credit for,” I retorted, slowly making my way over to him. “I can be the submissive you want and need. Let me show you, Hawke.”

I swallowed down the dread after getting that out, then ventured even closer. Hawke was pissed off that I was still challenging him, his anger radiating off him in waves, but I could do this. I was now a hairsbreadth away and had to force myself not to touch him. It proved to be too difficult because without thinking, I grabbed his arm.

He jerked it away, this time angering me. Hawke was probably hoping he pissed me off enough to walk away on my own so he wouldn’t have to do it himself, but there was no way I would make it that easy on him. I wanted to challenge him. To fight him.

“No, Charlotte. This isn’t happening.”

“Why?” The realization that any card I had would fail was beginning to set in, so I didn’t even try to hide the despair in my tone.

“I know you’re not used to hearing that word but too fucking bad.” He leveled me with a look that warned of retribution if I dared to defy him further.

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