Page 56 of My Brother's Teammates

Even when my head killed me and the words on the pages of my books were more jumbled than ever, I didn’t stop. I worked hard to be perfect. I wasn’t going to let Jason push me into ruining everything. I couldn’t.

Coach stood in front of me, his jaw clenched as he covered the mic on his headset. “Hurting?”

I shrugged.

“Mad?”

I clenched my jaw and shook my head.

“Uh huh.” He knelt in front of me and patted my knee. “I’m going to let this happen one of two ways, Tuff. You handle him or I will.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean either you talk to your best friend in the locker room where no one will see the two of you talking and you figure your shit out like men, or I’ll bench his ass for the rest of the season for the stunt he pulled today. Since you’re the one who just felt every hit of his bullshit, I’m letting you make the call.”

I looked down and shook my head. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

Coach gripped the back of my head and met me with a hard stare. “You’re not so fucking mysterious, Tuff. You think I don’t notice you walking around with a giant stick up your ass all the time? I get it. I had a dad like yours, too. We’re not them and we’ll kill ourselves to prove it, right? Well, son, sometimes you have to let go to prove to yourself who you truly are. I wouldn’t let it happen if I didn’t know goddamn well the man I’m trusting. The choice is yours, though. Trust yourself and set your friend straight or I’ll bench his ass. I’m not letting that shit happen in the second half. We’re not going home losers today.”

I stared up at Coach for a few seconds more and finally nodded. I wasn’t letting Jason get benched for the rest of the season. It would ruin him. “I’ll handle it.”

Coach stood up and roughly patted the side of my head. “I trust you will.”

I grabbed my helmet and nodded to Axel on my way into the locker room. My stomach knotted with years of self-doubt and fear that I was what everyone feared I was. Coach asking me to handle Jason should’ve meant more to me than it did. He trusted me. He also trusted me to beat the shit out of my best friend, too. I knew he meant well but it killed me that he couldn’t see that asking me to be violent, even in a controlled manner, just showed me that he did see my father in me.

I sat in front of my locker and dropped my helmet at my feet. My phone was lighting up inside my locker, so I went against my normal game rules and grabbed it. A series of texts came through from Jenny.

Watching the game with Gran and Sean. I see that you and Jason didn’t make up.

Oh, god, I hate this. I hope you’re okay. I know you can’t answer because you’re literally on the field, but I don’t like it when you get hit.

I’m going to murder Jason.

Erase that last text, please. I don’t want the evidence to connect my murder to you when I do it.

Erase that one, too.

Oh, Ry. I can’t watch anymore. Your poor body. Gran says the spirits are showing her your abs.

And they’re bruised. She got distracted by seeing your abs, I guess? Please, be okay.

Ryder, how many texts are too many to send before it’s considered stalking? It’s just that we didn’t talk last night or today and I’m worried. About you. About the guys. About my stupid brother. About…us. I miss you.

I just want you to know something else. I couldn’t stop thinking about last night, about what that asshole said to you. I’m sorry that I brought someone into your life that tried to hurt you. I knew the moment I saw the inside of your room that you were smarter than Landon, Ry. Your book collection turned me on and I won’t even make the joke about it being much larger than his. You’re smart and good and so strong. You-

Sorry, Sean jumped into me and I sent the message before I was finished. Probably best. I feel like I was getting too emotional.

You’re not your past, Ryder. I’m really sorry, but I asked Gran about you and she told me some of it. It’s insane to me that anyone could ever think you would be anything but a good man. Yeah, I watched you break my brother’s nose last night, but I think he had it coming. You warned him. How many people warn the person they’re going to punch before they punch them? Jason was an idiot for walking into your fist and I stand by that.

I hope it’s okay that I’m talking about this. If not, I’m sorry. I couldn’t stand the thought of you thinking that I might agree with any of that shit. I know you, Ry. You’re the guy who put a nightlight in the hallway after finding out I’m afraid of the dark and the guy who pretended he didn’t because you didn’t want or need the credit for it. Honestly, Axel and Hudson should start working harder to be as good as you.

Don’t tell them I said that, please. Axel will pout and Hudson will threaten to have Papa DuPont name a duck pond after me or something.

Oh, fuck yeah! Look at you run! Your little legs are getting it!

Yay, Hudson! I’m going to text him and tell him he looks hot when he’s scoring. And text Axel to ask if he remembers the feel of a football.

I’m sorry to tell you that Gran has just recorded video of you running on her cellphone and is humming a song about prostitutes, I think.

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