Page 57 of My Brother's Teammates

Did I say I miss you?

Oh, wow. You’re hot when you throw your helmet. Unrelated, can you bring your helmet home soon?

***Jenny***

IstretchedoutonRyder’s bed and smiled into my phone as seductively as I could. In just one of his shirts, I wanted to send him a picture that encouraged him, Hudson, and Axel to get back to their room in a hurry. I looked at the pictures and grunted. None of them were good enough. Looking around the room, I spotted his bookshelf. Biting my lip, I laughed to myself before stripping naked and grabbing one of the thick psychology books. I posed with the book covering just my most private bits and cheered when I looked at the picture. I sent it to all three of them.

Just doing some light reading while I wait around on my hot manfriends.

Ugh. I can’t get behind the term manfriends, guys. Do better. And hurry.

Also, just a random question. What would you guys think if I told you I ordered a vibrator and it came in the mail today?

I rolled my eyes at myself and pulled Ryder’s shirt back on before putting his book back in its place. I curled up on his bed and breathed in his scent.

I’d spent the night before in Hudson’s bed with pillows piled all around me. I’d fallen asleep wondering if the guys would call me, if they were okay, or if I’d ruined everything. They hadn’t called but judging by the sight of them playing football on TV, they were okay. And when I’d gotten the short and sweet heart eyes emoji from Ryder during halftime, I’d assumed I hadn’t ruined everything. Plus, Gran had really gotten in my head.

I hadn’t gone with the guys to the game because I was supposed to work. Since that plan flew out the window, I agreed to watch the game with Gran when she called. She and Sean were decked out in full gear when I arrived and I learned quickly that they watched games on TV with the same enthusiasm they watched them live.

Gran had known something was wrong so I’d easily told her everything about the night before. She waved off every one of my worries and told me her spirits weren’t worried. Even though I didn’t know what spirits she was talking about, I wanted to believe so I did. The guys and Jason would work their crap out and the guys would come back to me and we’d keep doing what we’d been doing.

Sex, tutoring, sex, class, sex, football, and maybe some more sex. It was nice.

I scrolled through my phone as I waited for the guys to call me. I was just starting to get annoyed about how long they were taking when a text chimed. I nearly dropped my phone on my face as I hurried to open it. I thought it’d be from Hudson. He always messaged back first.

Instead, it was from Jason.

This is why I didn’t want them near you, Jenny. They’re seniors in college who everyone knows will be drafted into the NFL next year. There are always going to be women waiting for them. They’re always going to be willing to welcome their ‘fans’, Jenny. I love you. I’m sorry.

My stomach dropped and I sat up as a photo came in from Jason. It slowly loaded and tears filled my eyes as I waited. Jason was wrong. He was just trying to make me stay away from the guys. Whatever he was showing me was going to be completely innocent and it would be fine.

Then the picture loaded fully and I felt Gran’s sugar cookies coming up. I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up. I dropped my phone on the ground next to the toilet and the picture stared back up at me as I hung my head over the water. My guys, all three of them, sitting at a bar with grins on their faces and drinks in their hands. The worst part wasn’t even that I could see their phones sitting on the table in front of them, waiting with my stupid texts about a vibrator. No, the worst part was the three women sitting in their laps. Barely dressed, beautiful, and draped over my guys like they were made to be there.

I threw up again and slapped the phone away from me. I didn’t want to look at it anymore. I couldn’t. When I finished, I flushed the toilet and sat back against the tub. I pressed my palms into my eye sockets and let out an anguished cry when the picture flashed in my brain, seared there for me to think about forever.

I’d been filled with shame when I showed up at their house with nowhere else to go after breaking up with Landon. I’d just known that I’d never be able to feel worse shame than that. I was crushed and humiliated. Nothing would ever feel quite that gutting. I was wrong. What I’d felt standing on the front steps that first day had nothing on the shame and mortification I felt sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing because the guys I’d rushed to give myself to weren’t rushing to give themselves to me. At least not solely to me.

I didn’t understand. They’d told me they wanted me. They’d made our relationship official with a label. Was I just so stupid that I didn’t understand the rules of engagement? My stupid picture was just waiting on their phones for them while they touched other women and probably took them to their rooms. My stupid texts. All the multiple texts I’d sent them, thinking I was being charming and cute. I cried even harder as that shame threatened to choke me.

Why had I given myself to them so freely? What was wrong with me? Why would they do it? Couldn’t they just wait to get home? Or was I just not enough? I hadn’t been enough for Landon, either. Why did I think I was?

I pulled myself to my feet and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Red-eyed, patchy skin, and messy hair that never looked nice. I was nothing like those women in the picture. I was just…available. Convenient, once again.

The woman staring back at me was so pathetic I wanted to smash her to pieces. I hated her. I hated how stupid she was and how stupid she kept proving herself to be to everyone around her. It was no wonder people laughed when I told them my dreams. I couldn’t even pick out the bad guys in my face.

I went into my room and sat on the bed. Only it wasn’t my room, or my bed. It was Axel’s. Everything in their house was theirs and I was just…stopping by. The idea of being there, waiting around when they got back the next morning made me want to scream. I couldn’t face them.

I ripped Ryder’s shirt off and got dressed in my own clothes so I could work. I shoved my things in boxes and bags, whatever I could get my hands on. It was desperate. I felt the time slipping away like rocks under my feet on a ledge. I threw my things into my car and ran through the house, making sure I had everything. I never wanted to go back. The sun was coming up when I pulled away from the street in front of the house.

***Ryder***

“Theleastyoucoulddo is say fucking thank you.” I pulled up outside of the house and glared over at Jason in the passenger seat. He looked horrible. It was clear he was nursing a brutal hangover and it made me want to slam things. “Honestly, Jace, you’re going to have to talk about all this shit at some point. Jenny’s on the other side of that door and after missing her all weekend, I’m not going to pretend like I don’t want to tackle her.”

He scowled. “Dude, come on. That’s my baby sister.”

I saw that Hudson and Axel had just pulled up behind us at the curb. They weren’t having to have a heart to heart so they just got to climb out and go inside to find Jenny. Lucky sonofabitch, both of them. “She’s not just your baby sister, Jace.”

“It’s too early for this. I’m too hungover and it’s just too…fuck. I don’t know. That’s my sister! The three of you are… You know what? I can’t think about it.” He shuddered. “If you expect me to thank you by giving you my little sister, you’re fucked. You saved me from getting benched and I’m glad, but no.”

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