Page 33 of Matthew

It was incredible, but what came after was just as good. Masok continued to fuck him, slowly and steadily, while Avir and Kom kissed him from the top of his head to his navel and back. They whispered sweet encouragements and naughty fantasies, assuring him he was loved and desired. He was soon hard in Masok’s grasping tightness, writhing helplessly beneath his trio of lovers as they urged him to another explosive orgasm.

The mood had been struck. The remainder of the day was spent naked and prepared for when they were wished to enjoy each other, which was often. Between were sensual episodes of basking in whirlpools, feeding each other delicious treats, drinking the best of the liquor in the bar, massages, and whatever kept Matt in the clan’s arms.

When late night arrived and they were ready to use the bed for sleep instead of making love, Matt felt less as if doom was waiting to fall on him. There was still darkness on the horizon, but it had been forced to a distance. He fell asleep hoping it might be kept at bay.

* * * *

Portion of Session 7 transcript

Subject: Matthew Larsen

Presiding Therapist: Dr. Retel, psychiatrist; also present, Dr. T. J. Sanderson, psychologist and Earther trauma liaison

Dr. Retel: When did you begin to play music?

Matthew Larsen: In fifth grade. The school’s music teacher asked me to help him bring a bunch of percussion instruments to the classroom. He had a guitar leaning in the corner, and I asked if I could try it out. I had no idea what I was doing, of course, but I loved how it sounded. He showed me how to strum a few notes, and I realized I was playing a song. “My Darling Clementine.” Me! Just like that. I had such a hard time learning, but it was easier than most things.

Dr. R: Why do you believe that was?

ML: Maybe because it was physical. I had trouble learning to read sheet music, though I eventually figured it out, but learning how to fret, how to pick out notes…and the scale was A, B, C, and so on to G. I’d learned most of the basics during class singing exercises.

Dr. R: Enjoying music might have helped you push past the learning challenges you had in other subjects. There was also the matter of being able to tackle it from multiple senses, as we’ve discussed.

ML: I guess. I never thought much about it except it being the one thing I was pretty good at.

Dr. R: What did your father think about you playing music?

ML: He hated it.

Dr. R: Can you elaborate?

ML: The music teacher sent a note home, explaining I had talent in playing and singing. He requested I stay after classes in the afternoons for extra instruction. The mon—my father was furious and said he’d better not catch me playing. He said only queers pranced around singing and playing. It wasn’t a manly calling. He said it invited sin, because famous musicians were idolized and chased by women of loose morals. Funny, isn’t it? He was convinced playing and singing weren’t masculine, but he insisted it attracted girls. I never could understand why he thought that way, but of course, I didn’t dare ask him. Especially since I figured out early I wasn’t interested in girls. I wonder when he started to suspect I was this way?

Dr. R: It’s a good question, but let’s focus on the music aspect for now. How did you end up learning to play despite his objections?

ML: My father got me a job at the company he worked for during summers and after school, so he could keep an eye on me. He didn’t want to pay for a babysitter, and he believed I was too young to be unsupervised. I delivered mail and packages and ran errands for the office. When I was twelve, he didn’t keep such a close eye on me, so on Saturdays, I used the money I saved for guitar lessons with my elementary school teacher. I had to borrow his guitar at first. Then he gave me one, and I hid it in my room and practiced when my father wasn’t home.

Dr. R: You said you took voice lessons as well?

ML: My guitar teacher…he taught me other instruments too, using the stuff he had lying around his house. I wanted to play everything. Piano, violin, mandolin—

Dr. R: But back to the voice lessons.

ML: Oh yeah. He stopped taking my money so I could pay a voice coach instead.

Dr. Sanderson: It sounds as if your guitar teacher believed in you. He certainly encouraged you.

ML: I know. Free lessons, a guitar of my own…he and his wife had three kids to support, but he did so much for me. I should try to find out what happened to him. I hope he’s okay. I’ll ask Kom to look him up. I should have long before now.

Dr. R: Your father never learned you were training in music?

ML: I was super careful. I might drift off and lose focus on what’s going on around me, but I kept alert where he was concerned. I couldn’t lose music. I couldn’t. It was the only thing that made me happy until I met Lucas in high school.

Dr. R: Now you’re free to enjoy playing and singing as much as you wish. Have you given thought to how you can further your music? We talked about you performing in front of an audience in a place where it might feel safe to do so.

ML: Maybe.

Dr. R: I asked you to decide on one option. Did you find anything?

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