Page 2 of Beautiful Envy

“Um,” I hedged, turning to him, urging him to tell me something different.

He was watching Lennox, a soft smile on his face for her. When he turned to me, the softness was gone, and the no-nonsense man I’d come to know had returned.

“As fun as that would be,” he started, making my heart race; he was going to agree with her, “it wouldn’t be the wisest or safest option for either of you. Plus, I doubt your bestie wants to be there for our after-concert celebrations.”

Lennox’s face heated, and she squirmed in her seat. “Okay, what’s this brilliant plan then?” she asked, crossing her arms in a defensive pose. I saw through it, though, and knew it was more likely she was turned on and didn’t want me to know.

“Bubba,” Slade said, not giving any other explanation.

Lennox’s face lit up at the name, her eyes sweeping back and forth as she thought about it. Her smile widened as she nodded.

“Oh, yes. That’s perfect. Bubba will know how to protect you. He’s part of your world.”

“My world?” I asked, lifting my eyebrow incredulously. I’d met the man once and didn’t know how the oversized teddy bear was supposed to protect me.

“He’s the leader of the Brotherhood.”

She said it like I should know it, but I’d never heard of the Brotherhood before. I shook my head, not understanding what she was trying to tell me.

“He’s a biker, but it’s not like you’re thinking,” Slade said, eying Lennox. “His club isn’t what you’re used to. But Lennox is right that he knows your world. He’s the best one I can think of to protect you. I’d trust Lennox with him,” he added, letting me know how much he thought of this man.

“I don’t know. Maybe I should just keep going in the morning. I need to check on someone anyway,” I mumbled. The thought of putting my faith in a strange man’s hands I’d met once felt scary. Especially if he was a biker. I wasn’t sure I trusted anyone in that world outside of Maddox.

Thinking of him brought a pang of sadness, the tears threatening to spill again. I missed him. I needed him. And he wasn’t here. Again.

I prayed what Chase said was true, despite the fact that it meant Maddox was in jail. The thought of him purposefully staying away hurt too much. The message Chase wanted me to give him roared to the surface, and I knew I needed to find him. I needed to make sure his sister was safe. Maddox would want that. It gave me something other than myself to focus on too.

“If you won’t stay with Bubba, I won’t go on my tour. It’s as simple as that, Darce,” Lennox said.

“What?” I practically shouted, my heart beginning to race. “That’s not fair. He’s practically a stranger!”

“You asked us for help, and this is us helping. If you trust me, then trust that I wouldn’t put you in more danger. I promise. This could be the perfect place for you to hide and lie low. No one will expect it. I’ll be on the road, creating some distance as well. You won’t be safe anywhere else, and you know it.”

She had a point, but I didn’t want to admit it. Staying with someone new would keep me more hidden, especially if she was out on tour. If no one was after me, I would have the time I needed to develop a plan. Their idea had the potential to keep us both safe. Plus, I knew Slade would never jeopardize Lennox’s safety after the incident with the stalker, so I had to take his word that this guy was okay.

Sighing, I dropped my head, nodding. I didn’t have it in me to say the words.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and into bed. It’s been a long night. In the morning, we’ll talk with Bubba. It’s going to be okay, Darce,” Lennox soothed, taking my hands and pulling me from the couch.

I didn’t know if I believed her words, but I wanted to trust her. It was hard to have faith in good things when everything was falling apart.

She ushered me into a shower, turned on the water, and showed me where Simon kept his best products. When the steam billowed out of the curtain, she hugged me tight and kissed my cheek, saying she’d be back later to check on me.

Nodding, I stripped out of my clothes and numbly stepped into the water. I felt it hit my skin, but outside of the pressure, I was unaware of my surroundings. My brain was officially going offline, having dealt with too much already. Now that I was relatively safe, the fight-or-flight part was deactivating, leaving me a numbed-out mess.

Going through the familiar motions, I washed my body. When I spotted a hint of red in the water around my feet, my memories surged up, and I remembered what brought me here.

Chase.

I’d killed him.

Or at least I thought I had. It was all a blur at the end as my need to get out of there surged through me.

The feel of the knife as I shoved it into him and the slipperiness of the blood were all I could focus on. Everything else was a haze as I tried to recall if he had a heartbeat or seemed coherent when I left.

I didn’t know if I wished him dead or alive. Both had a series of consequences attached to them. Neither were things I could solve at this moment.

Scrubbing harder, I made sure to erase every ounce of blood from me. Once my skin was red and raw, I felt better, knowing that nothing of him remained on me.

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