Page 49 of Bound By The Italian’s 'I Do'

‘I need to be honest with you,’ he said. ‘I have to be. After the way we started and all the lies, I don’t ever want deception of any kind to come between us.’

Her eyes flickered.

‘I wouldn’t have looked twice at you because I’d trained myself only to see tall, blonde, obviously rich women,’ he continued. ‘I didn’t need to see anything more than that because I wasn’t looking for more. I had no interest in anything real.’ He managed a smile and kissed her clasped hand. ‘It’s all this time with you, Issy, the way you make me feel... I didn’t stand a chance. And being with you, the uniqueness of how we came to be; it has brought the past back to me in a way it hasn’t been in a long, long time. I think of my mother now, alone in her Milanese flat and for the first time in over two decades, I don’t hate her for not coming back to me.’

‘Maybe she couldn’t,’ Issy suggested quietly. There was something about Gianni’s tone and the way he was looking at her that made her heart thump. For the first time in what felt like for ever, there was dread in the beats.

He grimaced and shook his head. ‘She could. The first place she fled to was a woman’s shelter. I know this because my aunt told me. The people there would have helped her but she chose not to tell them about me.’

A whimper crawled out of her throat.

The grimace turned into a smile. ‘Don’t be sad for me,cara. It is thanks to you that I can now confront my past in a way I never let myself before—Ihaveto confront it. I don’t want it to have power over me any more. My mother left me because she didn’t love me enough to take me with her. That is the crux of it.’

‘I don’t believe that,’ she whispered vehemently. How could any woman on this earth fail to love Gianni, let alone the woman who’d given birth to him?

He brushed a finger against her cheek. ‘I think my father beat the love out of her. She has never remarried or taken a lover. She doesn’t even have friends. That used to make me happy but now...’ His chest rose then fell with flump. ‘Bella, your mother abandoned you too in her own way, but you don’t hold any anger or bitterness towards her. Instead, you try to understand and help her. You forgive her. And that is what I must do. Forgive my mother for the hand life dealt her and trust that her abandonment was not my fault.’ His eyes held hers. ‘And trust that it doesn’t have to affect the rest of my life.’

The dread that had been building in the thumps of Issy’s heart were now so loud they almost deafened her. Instinct was screaming at her to change the subject now, right now, another, stronger part yearning to wrap her arms around him and hold him tight and swear that he could put his trust in her, that she would never let him down, that she would always be there for him. That she would never leave him.

But those words would be a lie. There was no future for them to place his trust in her, not in the way she sensed he’d been driving this conversation towards. In a few days they would go their separate ways. They would leave each other. That’s how it had to be, and she stared at him, pleading with her eyes for him to understand, silently begging him not to say the words that would force her to hurt him, hurt them both.

Just two weeks ago Issy would never have believed she or any woman would have the power to hurt Gianni Rossi. But then, two weeks ago, she’d never believed he would have the power to hurt her. She’d thought herself immune to him. She’d been too stupid to see that she was already half in love with him.

His lips parted.

No!She wanted to scream.Please, don’t.

‘I love you, Issy,’ he said quietly. Sincerely. Breaking her heart. ‘I love you. I know our marriage was a game of bluff we both told ourselves we’d lost but...’

She scrambled up and onto her bottom and shook her head frantically. ‘Please, Gio, don’t.’

He blinked as if something had flown into his eye.

‘Don’t say it,’ she begged. ‘It can never be. You must know that.’

He stared at her for the longest time, fingers still tight around hers, a contortion of emotions flickering on his face. ‘Tell me you don’t love me.’

‘Don’t do this.’

‘Tell me you don’t love me.’

‘Please.’

‘Tell me you don’t love me and I will end this conversation and seek an annulment as soon as we return to the mainland. All you have to do is say the words.’

‘I don’t l...’ But her tongue refused to cooperate. Refused to tell the lie. Finally snatching her hand free from his she buried her face in her knees and cried, ‘Ican’t.’

Gianni made himself breathe through the sharpness in his chest. Issy’s inability to refute her love didn’t ease the tension tightening throughout him. ‘You do love me,bella,’ he said steadily. ‘What we have found together is something we had no choice over. I couldn’t stop myself falling in love with you and you couldn’t stop it either. That spark was there from the very first moment. Our wedding was a farce but our marriage doesn’t have to be. I have no idea how we will make it work but I know we can because what we have is too special to throw away. I never in a million years expected to feel like this about anyone and yet here we are. Give us a chance. Please, don’t turn your back on something we could both search for another million years and never find.’

When she lifted her face to him, tears were streaming down her face. That was the moment Gianni knew he’d lost.

Chin wobbling manically, she shook her head and choked, ‘Ican’t. You must understand that.’

He had no idea how he was able to keep his voice even. ‘I understand that we love each other.’

‘Stop saying that, it only makes it harder. We can never be. I can’t betray Amelia. You have to go back to your own life and let me go back to mine.’

‘Amelia betrayedyou.’

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