Page 71 of It's Just You

20

Kane

Sex had never beenthis way before.

It had to be because I’d totally fallen for Finn, because I felt so… whole. Perfect. Like my body had found a level of content I’d never felt before. Masturbation certainly wasn’t the same. Rubbing one out was like scratching an itch. And the women I’d been with… they’d been nothing compared to Finn.

Finn seemed to doze, completely blissed out, which was something I could absolutely relate to. I pulled the blankets over us then closed my eyes as I held Finn against me.

Knowing this wouldn’t be the last time this happened made it even better because hell, I wanted more. So much more. Everything, if I could. I’d never been in love before, but I damn well wanted this to be the first and last time I fell.

I fell asleep there beneath him, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tight.

The next time I woke,it was to a cold bed and the sound of the shower running. I dozed a little longer, and when the water turned off, I turned over to watch the bathroom door. I expected him to come out fairly quickly, but it took him a long, long time.

I wanted to enjoy some more time with him, snuggle some more and just be close to him. That wouldn’t work if he hid in the bathroom, doing… whatever the hell he was doing. What was taking so long?

Too tired to wait, I closed my eyes again and relaxed into the mattress when the door finally opened. I looked at him and smiled, but it froze when I saw Finn was already wearing makeup.

“Morning. I didn’t mean to wake you. Sorry.” He smiled at me, seeming completely at ease with his nudity.

I needed a moment to gather my thoughts. When I’d looked at him last night, he’d had the remnants of makeup on his face, but it had been smeared and spotty. Why had he taken the time to reapply it now all over again?

“Is everything okay?” he asked when a moment passed without me speaking. He looked a little worried now, standing awkwardly before the bed. “Regrets? Doubts?”

I shook my head. “No, nothing like that. You coming back to bed?”

Finn nodded, sliding under the covers and snuggling close to me again. He didn’t act like anything had changed, but somehow hadn’t expected him to feel the need to get himself made up like this first thing in the morning — especially when I realized it was only 5:30 a.m.

“No regrets or anything like that. I was just thinking about something,” I assured him again, because it felt like something I needed to do.

“Then what was it?” Finn had his face nearly hidden against my shoulder, his slender, warm body wrapped around mine. He didn’t seem like he had any regrets either.

“Can I ask you something? It’s… pretty personal and probably none of my business, though.” I wanted to let it go, but it was so odd that I couldn’t. I definitely couldn’t drop it when it was bound to drive me crazy.

Finn hesitated, then nodded. “Go ahead.”

“This may sound totally weird, but… why did you apply makeup already, knowing I might lure you back to bed? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not upset about it or anything. I was just wondering,” I said as gently as possible.

Finn went rigid in my arms. Damn it. I’d overstepped, but it was nagging at me. Fuck, it was downright driving me crazy, because I wanted to see him without it. He’d fucked me last night, was the first person I’d fallen in love with, and yet, I hadn’t seen him without makeup even once — at least since his return to town, and the earlier years didn’t count at all.

Finn still didn’t speak, so I held him closer, pressed a kiss to his forehead, and whispered, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Still no response.

Finally I sighed, releasing him. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I like your makeup, I really do, so please don’t think otherwise. It just struck me as odd, that’s all.” I paused, trying to figure out what else to say or do. “Mind if I take a quick shower? I’m kind of sticky.” I let out an awkward chuckle, but Finn didn’t follow. He just nodded and moved away from my chest.

I had to admit I felt kind of bad when I grabbed my overnight bag, went into his bathroom, found a fresh towel, and turned on the shower. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. It was none of my business, especially since I had no idea how Finn felt about this thing between us. Even though I believed we could have something long-lasting, more serious, he might not see it the same way, and… I wasn’t even sure what to think anymore.

I’d had the most amazing night in a long time or ever, but maybe it had been different for him. Maybe he wanted me to leave, or was disappointed, or… I stopped myself from overthinking. I couldn’t go down that rabbit hole, or I’d never see the light again.

The water didn’t run cold, even though I stayed there for a long time, washing away all the emotions swirling in my head. Not that it helped at all, because I couldn’t get them to calm down, not when my ass was kind of tender from last night. And definitely not when I found a hickey on my shoulder — how fucking cute was that? — and when I closed my eyes, I saw him, his face, when he was so deep inside me that I felt like he was a part of me.

When I finally stepped out, I brushed my teeth, put on my boxers, then went back to his room to face whatever might happen. Maybe he was going to throw me out? Was that why he was already looking like he wanted to leave the house? We’d talked about me staying the weekend, and I’d grabbed enough clothes for it, but things could’ve changed, right? The guy had freaked about getting up at seven, and this was far earlier than that…

Was I reading too much into this? Was it just the way Finn was? Then I would be okay with it. Not everyone was comfortable without makeup, and I knew Finn always wore his. Maybe it was part of his personality, of who he was. I’d accept that, of course. Just because I wanted to see him without makeup didn't mean I was intentionally going to make him uncomfortable about it.

I looked up to see Finn sitting on the bed, the sheets pooling over his lap. His expression was serious, his eyes clouded when he briefly glanced up at me.

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