Page 57 of It's Just You

“What the fuck?” Sam’s voice startled us.

I jerked back, raising my head and looking at my brother. Fuck. I’d literally thought about him less than two minutes ago, and now he stood next to us, glaring at me.

I tried stepping back, but Finn held me in place. “Want me to stay?” he whispered.

I looked at him, taken aback. Somehow, I’d expected him to leave, to let me deal with Sam alone even though he was Sam’s friend. Had I? It just seemed like the logical thing to do. “If you don’t mind, yes. Please.” My faint smile in his direction was answered with a quick kiss, then he finally released me from his hold and took my hand instead.

“You have any issues with your brother being gay? Or demi, so with a guy?” Finn asked Sam.

“I— Fuck, no. Damn it, you know I don’t. I just— You and him?” Sam looked at Finn, his hands balled at his sides. “Did you… did you make him? Did you—”

“You can’t make someone gay, Sam. I think you know that as well as I do.” Finn was completely calm, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to let Sam get away with that bullshit.

My brother, on the other hand, was anything but calm.

“But he’s never been—”

“I have a name, Sam,” I interrupted. “And I’m standing right here. No, I haven’t been with a man before, but believe me, he hasn’t turned me gay or anything. We just hit it off, and… well, it happened. Sorry if it doesn’t fit into your little world.”

“How dare you! I don’t care if you’re gay, bi, or whatever. But does it have to be my friend you’re fucking? Do you have nothing better to do than get between the two of us, knowing we just met up again after years? Is it really that much to ask for you to get with some other guy?” Sam was getting more and more agitated — and so was I, even though I tried my best to stay calm.

I’d known he would be upset about me being with his best friend, though I still didn’t understand why — and while I’d known he might overreact, I hadn’t really expected this kind of outburst. It wasn’t like I was taking up all of Finn’s time. We spent more time texting than being in the same room with one another.

“I think I’m old enough to decide who I want to be with, and so is Finn. I’m sorry he was your friend first, but, well, it happened. You need to deal with it, because I have no intention of letting go of Finn again.” I squeezed his hand.

“Sam, you need to calm down. I can be your friend and still be with Kane. It doesn’t hurt our friendship at all. It has nothing to do with the two of us,” Finn said.

“How long has this been going on? Did you just turn up and pretend to want to spend time with me when you wanted Kane all along?”

Finn took a step back, hurt flickering across his expression at the accusation. I squeezed his hand again, reminding him I was right there with him. “Are you serious right now? I haven’t seen Kane since we moved away. You’re the one who pushed us to hang out that night at the bonfire. If you hadn’t been focused on whatever else you’ve been doing, you might’ve seen there was nothing between us until recently. This hasn’t been going on that long, Sam. Until then, we were friends.”

“You’re just saying that now. I don’t believe you at all!” Sam wasn’t shouting anymore, but he definitely hadn’t calmed down either.

“I’m not lying, and neither is Finn. Why the hell are you having such an issue with it? It’s nothing bad.” Even though I was still trying to calm Sam down, I was getting mad at him, too. Why did we have to justify being together, simply because we both had our own relationships with Finn? It wasn’t like I was trying to steal Finn away.

“That’s bullshit! Finn don’t bother calling or texting me again. Stay with this asshole if you want, but stay away from me.”

“Sam, that’s enough!” I said sharply. “That’s fucking enough! I gave up everything for you, so you could go to college, and have your freedom and your life and everything else, and now you’re telling Finn he basically has to decide between us? What kind of asshole are you?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Sam took a step toward us, not giving up this fight.

“If you had opened your fucking eyes for just one moment, you’d have seen how sick Dad is! You’d have seen how much help he needs! They never wanted you to know how bad it was, so I couldn’t tell you! I just dropped out of college and started working so I could help them and keep you in school. I gave up my fucking dreams for this, Sam!” I hadn’t meant to say any of that, but I was so angry that I couldn’t stop. “We finally found out why he’s so sick after two fucking years of you being oblivious today, and Finn was helping me get through the realization.”

Sam stared at me, looking stunned.

Now that I’d started letting him have it, he was going to deal with it. “And how dare you refuse to accept that we l-like each other, that we want to be together, just because you think you can decide who can be my boyfriend or whatever the hell else your problem is. I’m done, seriously. Go back to college, back to whatever the hell it is you do all fucking day, and leave me alone! This is the first time in ages that I’ve been happy, that I’ve found someone I want to be with, where I can think about myself and not just everyone else. I will not allow you to fuck that up for me. Because in all honesty, Sam, you will lose if you make me pick between you and Finn. I can’t speak for him, but think about it. Is this worth losing your brother over? You’re about to do that, if it’s not already too late. Just think about what you’re doing, what you did, and decide.” I was breathing heavily, though I was finally starting to get myself under control, cutting off my words even though I had a whole other spiel I was ready to throw at him.

Sam stared at me like I’d grown a second head.

I hadn’t meant to say most of those things, especially to let out Dad’s secret, but I was so done with him. Everything about him pissed me off — his behavior, his I-don’t-fucking-care attitude, his laziness, and his blindness where it came to our family. He wasn’t stupid at all, but he’d chosen to look away, and I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Not when he decided to go off the deep end about the only thing he actually noticed.

This had been a long time coming, and even Finn’s presence at my side couldn’t help me cool off completely.

“Nothing? No words?” I taunted him, wanting some sort of reaction that I could throw against him again. But right now, he didn’t even seem to be able to breathe.

“I—” Sam swallowed, then staggered backwards, sitting down hard on the swing on the porch. He rubbed his hands over his face, his eyes closed. Apparently my words had hit him hard because a long silence followed.

I was still angry, so damn angry. I wanted to yell more at him, wanted to get out all of my anger, resentment, sadness — all of it, everything I’d held in for so long. But I didn’t want Finn to see me lose it even more. The words were stuck as a lump in my throat. What a fucking mess. A few minutes ago, I’d been so happy to finally know what was wrong with Dad, then it had turned into this fiasco. Today was so fucked up, so unbelievable.

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