Page 58 of It's Just You

“I think he understood you, Kane,” Finn said, his voice softer than before. “Give him a few minutes to wrap his head around everything, then you might be able to talk. Or not. That’s up to you.” He squeezed my hand, then tugged on it to move me in his direction.

I wanted to keep staring at Sam, for him to make a move so I could attack again, but he stayed quiet. He didn’t even look like he was breathing.

“Why aren’t you mad at him?” I asked Finn in hushed tones, not wanting Sam to hear our conversation. We were at opposite ends of the porch, but even so.

“I’d love to say that it’s because you’re plenty mad enough for the two of us, and someone here has to stay calm, so I guess that’s me?” Finn smiled at me, but it was sad. “In all honesty, though, I’m mad at him, but I also understand why it’s hard for him to understand all of this… especially about your dad. He looked pretty blindsided. I don’t get why. I mean, even I could see it. But yeah… I get that he’s upset, and while I am too, yelling at him even more won’t help. I’d rather help you get through this.”

I looked down, meeting Finn’s eyes. “Thank you.” It was probably a good thing he’d been here for me to keep me from saying or doing things I’d regret. I’d yelled at Sam enough as it was.

“You’re very welcome. I wouldn’t walk away and let you do that alone.” Finn held on tighter to me, supporting me with his closeness. I hadn’t been held like this in ages, especially not when things were difficult, and it was a feeling I doubted I’d get enough of any time soon.

I just needed Finn to stay around… for that, as well as for other things.

It becameclear that Sam wasn’t going to say anything at all, so finally, Finn took the lead and coaxed me up to my room. We snuck past my parents, mainly because I wasn’t up for another confrontation. I didn’t really expect one, but I wasn’t willing to risk it. I also wasn’t ready for another tearful celebration because we knew what was wrong with Dad. I knew they were as relieved as I was, but right now, I didn’t have the energy to even deal with the positives.

To say I was drained would be an understatement.

Right now, I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and do nothing. Preferably with Finn, but I had to see if he was up for it. I just hoped he didn’t want sex or anything like that, because right now, my body was as dead as it had been before I’d gotten closer to Finn.

I didn’t say a word when the door closed behind the two of us, only exhaling shakily.

“Strip.”

I just stared at Finn. Just seconds ago, I’d thought about how little I wanted to have sex.

“Kane,” he said, more gently, “strip. I won’t do anything, I promise. But I think you want to be held, right? And it’s way better skin to skin.”

I closed my eyes, ashamed he’d had to reassure me he wouldn’t try anything. But I was so used to the pressure of people who just wanted sex, who might’ve thought it would cure any and everything when it wouldn’t even come close.

Without a word, I stripped off my jeans and the t-shirt I’d been wearing. Finn did the same, shoving his jeans down to the floor and stepping out of them. I wasn’t sure how he’d gotten out of those tight jeans that quickly, but I wasn’t going to complain. He kept his shirt on, clinging to his lean body, then lay down on the bed.

“Come here.”

Still without saying a word, I went to him. He was right. Being held was way better without too many clothes. Our legs touched, but our chests didn’t. It was enough. Not sexual at all, just… close. Intimate. Comfortable.

“Thank you,” I murmured, but I didn’t even lift my head.

“Stop thanking me. I figured this was what you needed, and if you’d objected, I’d have backed off, but… I recognized the expression you had. I figured that if our roles were reversed, I just wouldn’t want to feel alone. You had a hell of a day, and in my experience, some closeness helps with that.”

“When did you get so wise?” I asked, even though I didn’t really care. Right now, I was tired as hell, even though I didn’t want to sleep. It was more of a bone deep exhaustion, something that would take more than simple physical rest to cure.

Now that the pressure of the last few years was shifting to something more positive, it left me off balance. Maybe it would’ve been a good thing if it hadn’t been for the confrontation with Sam, but as it was… I was just a mess.

“I’m not. And it could’ve gone wrong, too.” Finn kissed my forehead. “But I’m happy I got it right.”

“You definitely did.” I fell silent as Finn pulled the blankets over the two of us.

My mind started drifting in all sorts of directions, but before I could pull together a coherent thought, I drifted off.

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