Page 51 of It's Just You

Even though the sound was still weak, Finn chuckled. “We need to change that.” With that, he pushed himself up, trailing kisses over my chest, then going lower. “Ready for one more new experience with a man?””

What did he…?

His lips moved over my stomach. Oh. Oh.

He shoved my sweats and boxer shorts down, releasing my erection. With a smirk, he wrapped his lipstick-covered lips around the tip of my cock. I jerked, my entire body going taut. Oh, fuck. It had never been this good. Never.

My fingers felt like they were moving on their own, grabbing hair, clutching desperately. There was so much heat, wetness, suction… the image of the red panties, all in front of me, and I didn’t stand a chance. I couldn’t hold back, couldn’t regain control of myself.

“Finn!” I yelped, wanting to give him a warning so he could pull away if he didn’t want a mouthful of cum.

But he didn’t move. His mouth was heaven, perfect, unlike anything I’d ever encountered. I wanted to hold back, to prolong it, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t focus on anything but coming into his perfect mouth.

My whole body tensed, and I came, spurting into his mouth and down his throat. “God, Finn!”

I had to force myself to release his hair, then I sagged back onto the bed with a groan.

Every other time had just been a precursor to this moment, barely worth it. I’d been waiting for this.

He licked my cock clean, releasing it with a kiss to the tip. His lipstick was smeared, and that with his tousled hair gave him a well-fucked look. It was the most perfect one I’d ever seen.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why—” I realized what he meant. “Oh, yeah, sure.” It wasn’t like I’d never tasted my own cum before.

Besides, it meant I got to kiss him, and nothing was going to hold me back from that.

I lay there longafter Finn left, trying to figure out if I should be freaking out over what had happened. Did I need to come to terms with it, or was it something I was already at peace with?

I wasn’t bothered, not at all. Sure, I’d never been with a man, but it couldn’t have been more perfect. The encounter with Finn had been so different from anything I’d ever felt, and he was what had made all the difference. The way he looked, felt, touched…

I was definitely demisexual, if this was any proof, or at the very least, Finnsexual. I at least had the hots for one person in my life, and I craved him.

It was messed up as all hell, though. Finn was my younger brother’s best friend, and Sam would probably be furious if he found out this had happened once, let alone that I wanted it to happen again. I wanted to try more; I had a lot to catch up on, and I doubted Finn would mind teaching me.

So we might need to come clean to him before he found out by accident.

But then, how long could this possibly last? I was already infatuated, wanting to see more of him, trying to work out how it could be possible with my father’s illness and Finn’s school schedule.

Fuck. I needed to figure out where we stood on this. He may not be a passing thing for me, but was I to him? Not that I believed he was going to just drop me, but would he be willing to figure out how to do some kind of long distance relationship? Was I? I had so much to deal with as it was. Could I even do it if I wanted to?

I couldn’t leave Dad alone overnight, even with Mom here, and for Finn to stay over… I wasn’t ready for that level of awkward. And I seriously needed to take a few steps back and not rush things. I shouldn’t have been trying to figure out visits before I even knew whether Finn wanted to keep seeing me.

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to figure out what to do. If I was a girl, I might’ve had a best friend to talk to about stuff like this, but I was flying solo on this. There were a few guys I had beers with, but while I might be able to talk to them about women troubles, I doubted they’d be as comfortable with guy troubles.

God, life had been so much easier before Finn had rolled into town.

Not as much fun, but easier.

Thinking about the what ifs didn’t help, though, so I was sort of relieved when Dad called me into his room to help him get ready for bed.

We had another appointment in a few days, but I didn’t have much hope that this doctor was going to find out more than the others had. They’d charged a whole lot of money for a diagnosis of “I have no fucking idea,” and I was kind of done with throwing money at yet another only to hear the same thing again. That money could be used to make his life more comfortable instead of making us all increasingly hopeless.

But he wasn’t ready to give up, and neither was I. We still had to hope we’d find answers — and a solution. A cure, even, though I doubted it. He’d just been sick for too long.

My thoughts kept wandering back to Finn and what he might be up to. I wanted to text him and see how he’d spent the evening, but I wasn’t sure if that was okay. I’d only casually dated at best, so I didn’t know what was socially acceptable in a brand new… thing.

I figured a text would be all right, as that’s what I would do with any friend, but aside from that, I was sort of lost.

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