Page 37 of Deserving Maddie

She nodded her head.

"He didn't care about me or the kids. He only cared how we made him look. More often than not, we didn't live up to the vision he had of what a perfect life should look like. Anthony didn't want me to finish college. When I got pregnant, he assumed I would quit and become a stay-at-home mother. It angered him that I would go against his wishes and we fought about it often. Luckily, I had a boss who understood my family came first, so I didn't work full-time. It allowed me to be home when needed. That was the only compromise I was willing to make. Meals were always prepared, and I made sure I took my kids to every event they had. It wasn't enough to please him, but he had no leg to stand on since I wasn't missing things. But it also backfired on me. I played right into giving him that perfect image. I got so good at making sure I missed nothing, and that I always covered for the things Anthony missed, that my son never saw his father for who he really was."

"And who was that?"

"An inconsiderate asshole who drank too much and had a superiority complex. He thought he was better than everyone else and could do no wrong. His boss stroked his ego and covered for any mistakes he made."

Wow. It felt good saying that out loud. Kat knew what she went through but because her best friend lived it alongside her, but she never got to just let it all out in one swoop. She had to keep up appearances around her children and her life back in North Carolina. It was the main reason she moved. It became too tiresome to pretend day after day when all she wanted to do was be herself; the person she hadn't been allowed to be when she was with Anthony.

"Is Anthony's death the truth you don't want Gabriel to know about?"

"Yes." Her answer was barely more than a whisper.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

There was no way she could stop now. It was all or nothing, and considering how much she already confessed, it didn't matter anyway.

"The night Anthony died, he never should've been on that raid. The drug task force wasn't his division, but he had been with his captain that evening. It was their bi-weekly poker night. His captain claimed he asked Anthony to come along, but I knew my husband. He always wanted to be in the center of the limelight. He would've begged to go along. Anthony always came home drunk after those poker nights, so there was no way his judgment wasn't impaired. They sent a drunk man in to clear a house that they knew could be rigged with explosives."

Chapter 17

Rayhadreadthereport, but hearing Maddie describe how things really went down was a tough blow. The reports, and even Anthony's captain, had claimed Anthony was a hero, that he had noticed the bomb was about to go off and jumped on it to save the lives of his fellow officers. Unfortunately, the other officers in the house died right alongside Anthony.

"Did you tell anyone what you suspected?" Ray asked.

He couldn't see her keeping that to herself unless she did it to protect her children. She reminded him of a lioness who would go for the jugular of anyone who even thought about hurting her kids.

"Of course I did. I confronted his captain, but it was no use. He swore they didn't drink that night because they were on call, but Anthony never mentioned being on call. He had reminded me that morning that it was his normal poker night and I wasn't to disturb him. He would be home after he cleaned house."

"By clean house, you mean beat his captain."

"Yup." She shook her head in disgust. "Anthony was convinced he was such an amazing poker player that he could beat anyone. Some nights he did okay, but most of the time he had some excuse why he lost whatever money he brought to the table that night."

Ray was pissed that he allowed himself to think Anthony was such a perfect man. Blue was right. He couldn't trust what he read online.

"And no one questioned his inebriation that night?"

"Anthony was good at hiding it. I wouldn't go as far as saying he was a functioning alcoholic, but he could hold his own. I don't think he was flat-out drunk, but my guess is, if anyone bothered to take his blood alcohol level, he would've been well over the limit and had enough in him to affect the choices he made."

No wonder Maddie felt the need to move out of North Carolina. If that got out, it would ruin her children's lives. To find out their father wasn't the hero they always thought, but essentially a murderer. Ray needed to look at the incident a little more closely, make sure there wasn't anything that would harm Maddie's children.

"I'm sorry you were forced to deal with that. I can see why you moved away. This is going to sound bad, but I'm glad you came to Texas, and I'm really glad you came out to the bar that night."

"This doesn't change anything." There was no mistaking the regret and sadness in her eyes. "Gabriel is still struggling with his father's death and the move. He barely tolerates me and you saw how protective he gets every time you're around. I just can't, in good conscience, try to start something when my life is such a mess."

It was sad how ridiculously happy it made him knowing that Maddie ended things with him because of her kids, and not because she felt nothing for him. He could work with that.

"So, we wait and take things really slow."

He reached for the hand that was death-gripping his throw pillow. He considered it a step in the right direction when she didn't pull her hand away, and instead linked their fingers together.

"We’re talking at a snail's pace, Ray."

"It's a good thing I like you enough not to care, now isn't it?" He smiled.

"Why?"

He wasn't quite sure what she meant, so he asked, "Why, what?"

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