Page 40 of Meeting the Billionaire Boss

She waits, steam rising from her milky tea. Now that I’m here, I don’t know what she’ll think about the idea of moving to Edward’s house. She’s been mistress of her own home for a long time and while I got carried away on the idea that living at Edward’s would be good for her, perhaps it won’t. Perhaps she won’t feel like she fits in there. She’s never wanted charity and only took the money I brought in because she was unable to work much herself but living in someone else’s house will be completely different. Like surrendering her freedom in a way.

Is that what I’m doing?

Images of Edward flood my mind. Since that day when he came home and carried me to my room over five weeks ago, things have been different. We haven’t had full sex but he has shown me physical affection in the same way many times and my desire for him has continued to grow. We’ve been getting on well and are almost like a little family with Joe, but I know that Edward is still holding back and it’s so hard. I can’t fully lower my walls unless I know he has too but sometimes I catch it in his eyes, a hesitation, the source of which he can’t disclose. It saddens me to know that we might never be able to connect fully because of past hurts and fears, because we’ve both learnt the hard way that people can’t always be trusted.

People leave. People die. Hearts can be broken. Scar tissue is tough to break down. Edward holds back physically because he’s afraid to let go. Letting someone in is terrifying.

It doesn’t stop me wanting him. Needing him. Craving him like he’s an addiction I can’t shake.

I’ve kept my left hand out of sight. I could have taken the ring off but I’m afraid of losing it. Now, I raise it and watch as Mum’s face changes, various emotions crossing her familiar features.

‘Ava… Is that what I think it is?’

I nod. I don’t want to lie to Mum but I can’t tell her the truth about the engagement being fake and to be honest, the lines are so blurred now anyway that I’m not sure what’s the truth and what’s a lie.

‘Is it Edward?’ She sounds uncertain.

‘Yes!’ I force enthusiasm into my tone, ‘Edward and I are getting married.’

‘Wow! I didn’t see that coming.’ She pushes her chair back but I jump up from mine and go to her. ‘Congratulations, Ava, darling. I’m happy for you.’

We hug for a bit then I go and sit back down and take my mug between my hands. The ring glints under the weak kitchen bulb, its sparkle duller in this room than anywhere in Edward’s home. Reality sucks at my feet as it sinks in that I’m being dishonest here. And not just to Mum but to myself. This flat, this life, this kitchen… this is who I am and recently I’ve allowed myself to be carried along on a wave of contracts, Egyptian cotton sheets, organic fruit and veg, thick, creamy Greek yogurt and multiple orgasms supplied by my very own billionaire fiancé.

But he’s notmybillionaire. It’s all a façade and being here makes that abundantly clear to me. I’m living a life that’s not really mine to have, and it could all come crashing down around me. This is why I was afraid to come home sooner. I’ve been like a horse with blinkers on, ignoring what’s going on outside of the bubble I’ve been existing in.

‘Are you happy?’ Mum asks, concern in her gaze.

‘Yes, of course!’ I look away, not wanting to crumble right here and now.

‘Ava?’

I slowly look up and bite my lower lip to stop it wobbling.

‘I’m sure that it’s not all sunshine and roses being involved with a rich and powerful man and that life with him is very different from…’ She gestures at the kitchen. ‘What you’re used to. But it doesn’t mean that it can’t work out. Where there’s love, there’s a way.’

‘But… Dad.’ I release the thought into the room like a bad smell. I hate talking about him with Mum because of the pain it brings to her eyes but I can’t deny that his abandonment has affected us all. Despite everything, she’s so strong and resilient and I hope that I am like her even if it’s in a small way.

Mum sighs and rubs at her eyes. ‘Not all men are like him.’

‘How do you know when you can trust someone?’

‘You don’t.’ She holds up her hands. ‘It’s a choice you have to make every day. However a relationship starts, there’s no guarantee how it will end. You take each day as it comes and have faith that whatever happens, you’ve got your own back.’

At that moment, a sleepy Daniel walks into the kitchen and shrieks when he sees me. He flings himself into my arms and hugs me, smelling of sleep and fabric softener. He seems taller, his face changed, like he’s grown up while I’ve been away, and I hug him tight. He’s much bigger than Joe even though he’s still just a boy. That thought makes me miss Joe, the child I’ve come to care about so deeply.

‘Have you brought presents?’ Daniel asks when he finally pulls away.

‘Daniel! That’s not nice to ask,’ Mum scolds him but she’s smiling.

‘Of course I have. I’ve brought some for now and some for you to open on Christmas Day.’

‘Won’t you be here then?’ He frowns.

‘Not this year. But we’ll make up for it next Christmas, I promise.’

‘OK.’ He grins with the easy joy of a child anticipating gifts in his near future.

If only it was as easy for an adult to enjoy the moment as it is for an innocent child.

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