Page 34 of Playboy Billionaire's Secret Baby

Allegra is the one who told me to keep James’s identity a secret, so if anyone understands my dilemma, it’s her. I can’t wait to hear what she has to say. I spot Allegra in the bar as soon as I step inside, looking as adorable as always. Her smile stretches from ear to ear, instantly making me feel warm and a little calmer. I eagerly head over to sit with my friend; she’s already got a cocktail ready for me.

“Girl, you have been busy,” she laughs over the loud music, thumping through the room. “I’m glad you’ve managed to spare some time for me. I’ve missed you.”

Guilt flows through me like a river. I don’t want to create even more distance between me and Allegra now that we’refinallyin the same place. But I might have to do that for my own mental health. I wonder if she’ll understand…

“Fill me in,” she continues happily. “What’s been happening since the party? I know you left quickly because of Frederico. Has anything happened since?”

“He’s been calling me a lot, and texting me, but I haven’t responded,” I admit. “I don’t know what to do. If I talk to him, I might have to tell him everything. I don’t know if I’m ready for that… if I can spill the beans. Like you said, Frederico isn’t the sort of man who wants to be a father and can commit. I don’t need that.”

Honestly, I feel fragile enough as it is. I’m all battered and bruised emotionally, and I don’t know how to heal the scars. I don’t know if Icanheal.

“Well, that’s actually something I want to talk to you about.” A sudden pinkness stains her cheeks. This isn’t like Allegra. She doesn’t always get embarrassed like this…not like me. “I don’t think my advice has been right when it comes to Frederico.”

My spine stiffens. What is she talking about? I furrow my eyebrows and stare at her, almost in horror. What the hell is going to come now? I don’t know if I can handle any more.

“What do you think you got wrong, Allegra? I don’t understand…”

She bites down on her bottom lip, looking thoughtful, as if trying to find the right words for whatever bomb she’s about to drop.

“I don’t know if my advice was right,” she finally admits. It looks like a giant weight has rolled off her shoulders. “I don’t know if I told you the right thing to do.”

“What… what do you mean?” I ask with a thick lump in my throat.

“I mean I don’t think I was right, telling you not to be honest with Frederico.”

My heart sinks. “Really? What do you mean? Why do you think you were wrong?”

I don’t know if I want to hear it. I’m not sure Icanhear it right now. My whole body is swirling, drowning in so many feelings all at once.

“Well, I have always assumed that Frederico is a playboy, who can’t commit to anyone. I haven’t ever thought there’s more depth to him than that. I’ve never tried to see more to him than that because…why would I? He’s just Adam’s friend, right? Not someone who’s particularly interesting to me. I never thought we would end up here, with you liking… and having a kid with him. I would have paid way more attention.”

Allegra looks like she’s about to weep, bringing forth a swell of emotions in me. How am I supposed to hold all this inside when I don’t even know where this is going? Fuck, this really is messy. Can Allegra see how messed up I am?

“He isn’t a bad guy, Lexi, and I’m sorry for making you feel that way.”

“I…” I really am speechless. I don’t know how Allegra expects me to respond, but I don’t have anything to say, so I snap my lips closed and remain silent.

“I think hereallylikes you, Lexi. He actually wants to be with you… I also believe that if you give him a chance, he will be a good father as well.”

No. I shake my head hard.No, no, no.I can’t deal with this. I can’t hear her saying this, not now. Not when I’ve already made a decision to get myself away from him. My chat with Mom made me feel like I need to do whatever it takes to keep James safe and happy, and that’s what I’ve been rolling with. But now Allegra, who has always told me the same thing, has switched gears out of seemingly nowhere. I don’t understand: why is the world so desperate to have me so confused?

“What…” My voice is raspy and a little desperate. “What do you mean? What’s going on here? What’s changed? I don’t understand…”

“I wasn’t there,” Allegra begins, with an air of awkwardness. “I don’t know everythingthat happened, but I do know that Adam spent some time with Frederico and came back telling me that he hasn’t ever seen his friend like this before - all head over heels and wanting to change his whole life for you. We were both thinking that we could all have a meeting. Like, all four of us. Me, you, Adam, and Frederico as well, so we can get everything out in the open and be honest about it all.”

Oh no, that idea makes me recoil internally. It’ll be awkward enough to tell Frederico what’s going on, without the expectant eyes of Adam and Allegra on us. Much as I love and trust our friends, I don’t want to make this more awkward than it already is.

“I don’t think that’s something I can do, Allegra,” I tell her sadly. “Because I don’t think I’m going to be around for much longer. My work… well, the work doesn’t really need me to stay, and in fact, I don’t think it’s been healthy for me. Risking upsetting James with the nightmare with Frederico isn’t what I want. I can’t take it. I really don’t think I have the emotional strength to cope. I need you to understand that.”

“What are you saying?” Allegra gasps. “It sounds like you’re thinking about leaving.”

I hang my head before I respond. I don’t want to upset Allegra, but it’s best that she knows about my plans. “Mom and I have been talking, and it might be time to go home. James lives in England and so do we. My office is there and everything…”

It’s such a weak, thin excuse and we both know it. I’m just running away from what I’m afraid to do. I’m taking my family away from the potential rejection that may come from Frederico. I know it seems selfish, but I truly feel like this is what I need to do. For all of us… right? This seems like the best way – and the only way.

God, I don’t really know. I’ve gone back and forth in my head a million times, so this upheaval coming from Allegra isn’t really helping me. I shift awkwardly in my seat, wishing I could pick up and run away from this conversation as well. It’s all so overwhelming that I can hardly breathe.

“I can’t believe that you’re going,” Allegra whimpers sadly. “I can’t believe you’re already leaving for England. I’ve loved having you here; it’s been amazing. I didn’t think you’d ever want to go. I really thought we would be able to sort this out…”

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