Page 18 of The List of Things

“No, he was the one who said casual, no strings attached,” I sigh the words out.

“What things were on this list?” Sienna asks, and I rattle off some of the contents.

“I just don’t know,” I admit to her.

“Well, I do... He has made it very clear that he has no intentions of anything more. He said no strings attached first. He’s literally one of the most attractive men that walk this campus, and honestly, probably the world. You get sex, you get good experiences and fun memories, and you get to complete the list, and then go home... If anything more happens, that’s not on you... You’ve clarified what you want. If he expects more. He fucked up, not you.”

The turning in my stomach continues, nothing making it subside.

“I just don’t want... I don’t want things to be awkward or anything... What if I end up able to help the football team next semester? Then how am I going to act like nothing happened?” I truly don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if this messed anything up for me being able to do what I love.

I want to work with the football team more than any other sport at Seattle Pike University. I’m in good graces as of right now with the coach.

“You’ve slept with at least five guys on the football team, and kicked them out after… If that’s not going to be awkward, then why would this be? You’re friends with him, it would probably be less awkward if anything. I seriously don’t see a single con to this, I mean it... You know I would try my hardest to turn you away from anything I thought was a dumb idea, but this? This is genius.”

I run my hands over my face, and harshly through my hair, “It was three football players... But either way, should I text him?”

“He’s at drills... Or he’s about to be. He wouldn’t answer... I mean, you could just show up?”

“Drive me to the field?”

She’s off the couch before I can even blink.

From the second we get in the car I start questioning my mental state. I question exactly how I thought this was a good idea for even a split second. I know I’m sweating too. This will end badly. I have a gut feeling about just how poorly this is going to end. I nestle myself into the passenger seat, crossing my arms over my stomach as I panic mentally. I think I’m going to vomit. Profusely. Exorcism-type vomit all over this car, or possibly the football field.

“You’re not backing out.”

I open my mouth to argue but she doesn’t let me.

“No! You always push me to do the things I want to do, and normally I don’t get the chance to do the same because you just do whatever you want, but this is my chance... This is a good thing, and you’re doing it or I swear I will… I don’t know, but you can’t back out now. We’re almost there,” Sienna states.

“What if he changed his mind?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“Well, give me the list, let’s just go over it, and see if this is really even worth the drama,” She holds her hand out, and I cringe.

“He might still have it with him. He said he wanted to keep it,” I explain, and she smirks.

“He didn’t give you the list back... He still had hope. I bet it wasn’t much, and you probably bruised his ego just a bit, but he’s still going to be excited. I will put money on it.”

I hold my hand out to her, “Okay how much?”

She rolls her eyes at me as she turns down the street, the stadium coming into view. I take a deep breath, blowing it out of my mouth, and then I close my eyes, pressing the back of my head to the seat.

“I swear if you throw up in my car…”

“I might,” I feel my stomach churning.

This is not me, I never back down from a challenge, ever, but Bellamy is like a Mount Everest sized challenge. This isn’t going to end well, I already know it.

“You are being overdramatic. Stop being a little bitch, get the fuck up, and go tell him,” She parks the car on the street, and I groan.

“Come with me.”

“I am not coming, Lawson is on the field, and he-”

“I need you to come with me if you want me to do this.”

She unbuckles her seatbelt, probably questioning our friendship while she does so.

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