Page 2 of Heavy Shot

"Ugh," the boy groaned. "I don't wanna."

Kline smiled and leaned over close to his son's ear, "C'mon, the sun's out and it's a gorgeous day. Up you go."

Jack opened his eyes and squinted at his father. "Do you have to work today?"

"Not until this afternoon. I thought you and I could spend the day together. Want to go watch your uncle Thad shoot his show? I need to go into LA for a while."

"Yeah! They’ve got the Craft table!" Jack was up like a shot."Is Kim coming?"

"Kim's off today," Kline shook his head. “Delia will come with us.”

As though summoned, the part-time nanny appeared and said her good mornings, starting to help Jack pick out his clothes for the day. Kline considered her. Cute and young, but probably a bad look to start dating the nanny, not even the full-time nanny at that.

“We’re going to go over to Television City,” he told her as she shooed Jack out to brush his teeth. “Chelsea Handler’s doing a special taping out here on the lot, so you can hang out with him there, or at Thad’s taping. Whichever one he wants.”

“Cool. I’ll keep us low key.”

Kline thanked her and went off to his wing of the house, passing his own movie and television posters as he walked through the main hallway, a glassed in feature running through the center of the mansion that allowed him to see into the landscaping of the interior courtyard on either side. Now and then, he stopped to marvel at the fact that his house had wings to it. Hell, even the courtyard was bigger than the council flat he’d grown up in.

Roland’s words from earlier came back to him. Underwear model. Sitcom actor. Romcom actor. Finally, maybe a serious actor. He’d come up the ranks in housing just the same. From a council estate in Leeds, to a bedsit in London, to a model apartment in Manhattan, to roommates in LA, to his first home with Nina, to this. And this was a ridiculous, sprawling, modern affair that was way too big for one man and his part-time son.

Sometimes he thought that LA real estate agents were working with the studios to keep actors in ridiculous digs. The price he was paying for the view he had? He wasn’t going to be able to stop working until he was dead. But, as Roland always told him, it was part of the game.

He showered, thinking through the list of women he knew who might fit the bill for a publicity romance. He half wished things had taken off with Kara. That would just be easier. But they were like oil and water, and she didn’t like kids. It had to be someone who liked kids because when Kline had his time with Jack, he really tried to keep close.

It wasn’t exactly kosher for him to be dragging the kid along to tapings, but no one had told him not to either.

He shaved, patted on some cologne, dressed and shook out his hair. Everyone else in Hollywood was wearing their hair close cropped this year. Even Brad Pitt was sporting a buzz cut. After wrapping Knight, Kline had kept the longish style he’d had in the film. Styled right, letting his glossy brown hair curl under enough mousse to sink a ship, he thought he had a Jim Morrison vibe going on.

Chelsea’s team would still work him over for the TV cameras, but he would go in looking like the street version of his movie poster anyway.

Delia had Jack kitted out and fed by the time Kline made it back to the middle of the house, where a hotel lobby-like living room connected the east and western sides of his home. “Ready?” He asked. They were, so the three of them trooped down to the garage and picked the SUV to drive out to the studio lot.

Kline waved at the handful of fans hanging around the driveway gate, then asked for musical preferences from the backseat. Jack picked the Encanto soundtrack, and Kline sighed, but cued it up on Spotify. They were going to have work on his musical taste if Kline was going to survive many more car rides. Maybe his tastes would improve with age?

In a half hour, they were turning into the gates at Television City, checking into the closed lot parking and heading toward the sound stage where Thad's show was shooting. Usually, one or more of Thad's all-girl brood were running around on set, along with the kids who played his on-screen family, and Jack provided a welcome playmate.

The backstage area was madness and they found Thad with his stage wife, running lines before going out to shoot them. The affable Australian was starring in one of a long line of sitcoms based around the everyday, normal life of a celebrity.

This was the third spin-off of the first sitcom he’d done, and where Kline had met him. Knock Three Times had been an ensemble cast of barely legals trying to get their big break at an arts school, that spun off half the cast into Higher Ed, which was exactly what it sounded like if you liked puns about weed and college life, and finally that had spun off Thad and Kelsey Karter, as Thad’s long-suffering wife, into Simon Says, a show about an actor who has finally made it.

Thad had a fake wife, fake kids, a fake house, and of course an array of fake in-laws and neighbors who had free run of his home and provided much hilarity at any given moment. What gave Kline the biggest laugh was how backwards the show had it.

Thad didn't live in suburbia, and his current wife, number three, was not his high school sweetheart, but a supermodel who didn't even know where the kitchen was, much less how to use anything in it. The only thing close to the truth was the houseful of kids, but Thad’s sitcom counterpart only had four. He actually had six. Kline couldn't fathom playing Thad’s part of bumbling, amiable, dumbass day in and day out for years, but then, that's what acting was. You pretend you understand, even when you don't.

Two of Thad's children came running up to Jack with squeals of delight, and before Kline could even greet them, the three were off to Thad's trailer to play. Thad already had one baby girl when Kline had met him, with twins on the way. They’d started calling himThe Impregnatorbefore the first season of Knock was over.

"Was that Evangeline?" Kline asked, as Thad walked over. "She's a tree!"

"Yeah," Thad nodded after the cooling trail of children."Not even thirteen and I've got little bastards calling the house for her all the time. And old bastards. Not as bad as Eugenie yet," he said naming his eldest daughter, "but getting there."

Kline shook his head."Impressive. So, what's up today?"

"Taping starts at noon. We're redoing some scenes so no live audience. Laugh track. I hate that shit."

"Yeah, when it's canned, the viewers think you knew it wasn't funny, but you filmed it anyway."

"That, and I don't like not getting an immediate response. It's difficult to tell what's working and what isn't."

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