Page 16 of The Little Black Rose

“Now, who’s being an ass?” I shoot back with an arched brow.

“I’m sorry, okay?” she says, throwing up her hands. “It’s just…you’re my brother, and I love you. Ava’s my best friend, and I love her, too. I want you both to be happy, and I don’t think being platonic co-parents is going to satisfy either of you. There’s obviously an attraction there. Can’t you at least explore it? See where it goes?”

“You know why I can’t,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

“What I know is that you broke up with your first serious girlfriend for undisclosed reasons. Millions of people go through that same thing, and they don’t close themselves off from ever finding love again. They accept that that person wasn’t the right one. That their perfect person is still out there, somewhere.”

“I was going to propose, Zoey!” I blurt before I can stop the words from pouring out.

“Wh-what?” she asks, her eyes flaring wide.

I exhale harshly, my entire body deflating. “I bought a ring and hid it under the mattress. Samantha found it while stripping the sheets after fucking Josh in our bed.”

The words are so quiet, I’m surprised she can hear them. But her gasp tells me she does, and I squeeze my eyes shut while pinching the bridge of my nose.

“I’m so sorry, Zeke.”

“It’s fine,” I sigh, shaking my head. “But can’t you see? I can’t trust my own judgment. I thought we were happy, Zo. I thought she loved me like I loved her. How can I ever trust someone with my heart like that again?”

“Zeke––”

“No, Zoey. I can’t do it. I will love this baby with every ounce of my being, but as far as Ava goes, we’re just co-parents. Who knows? Maybe we’ll even become friends at some point. But that’s all we’ll ever be. I can’t…I just can’t, and you need to accept that. Ava has.”

She looks at me with sadness and something that looks a lot like pity in her eyes, but I ignore it and turn back to my work. Eventually, she heaves a sigh and heads back out to the front to get everything set up for when we open.

I grip the back of my neck and massage the tight muscles there, but there’s no relief for the tension coiled inside me. It grows even tighter as a niggling of doubt creeps through my mind.

Could Zoey be right? Is my reaction to Samantha’s betrayal over the top? Should I just let the past go and concentrate on finding my one perfect person?

I don’t know if I can. I’m not even certain I want to. How does a person know when the risk is worth the reward?

I shake my head and blow out a breath. If I’m ever going to let the past go and try to move on, now is not the time. I just found out I’m going to be a father. That is where my sole focus should lie.

Maybe by the time the kid is eighteen, I’ll be ready to try my hand at love again. That would make me…fifty-one years old. Almost fifty-two.

“That’s not depressing, at all,” I mumble.

God, why did I let my sister get in my head like that? I don’t want a romantic relationship. That ship has sailed for me. And I’m totally fine with that.

Totally, one-hundred percent fine.

Chapter8

Not a Torture Device

Ava

When I pull into the lot at my doctor’s office, Zeke is already there, leaning against the building like he doesn’t have a care in the world. But as I pull into the parking spot directly in front of him, I see the stiff set of his shoulders and the tension around his eyes.

He’s just as nervous as I am, and somehow, knowing that calms me, a little.

I’m not alone in this. I knew Zeke insisted on being here today, but until this very moment, seeing the nervous anticipation radiating off his body, I didn’t realize just how important it is to him. How important thisbabyis to him.

“Hey,” I say softly after he hurries over and opens the car door for me.

“Hi,” he replies, and we do this weird, jerky dance as each of us goes in for a hug then pulls back again as if neither of us is sure the other wants it.

We settle on a tense, one-armed half hug before pulling away. Zeke presses a firm hand to my lower back as we walk toward the door, and I pretend it has no effect on me at all even though a swarm of bees erupts in my stomach.

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